I've been in school now for four days and
its been the way I thought it would be but
hoped it wouldn't. The girls in my school
are all so pretty and so thin and I feel
like a fat health forum amoung them.
I have forgotten how to study, I don't
know what i'm meant to be doing. I
suppose I should be going over notes and
things but I just won't do it. All i've
been thinking about is how it would be so
much better if I were not here at all,
that I would finally be free from life,
free from hell.
There are teachers you can talk to in the
school about things but I don't know if I
would talk to them, I need to talk to
someone because I can't go on like this or
I will never get anywhere with regards to
study.
I just want it all to end but I don't want
to recover, I just want to die.
Its so dark and I don't know what to do,
i'm stuck in a place from which I cannot
escape and I haven't got my therapists to
help me. Although I don't talk in session
at least I know they are there and I can
see them for at least an hour but I can't
anymore and i'm losing it.
I don't know what to do, i'm so scared, I
just want it all to end.
Do any of you think I could talk to the
teachers in my school, would it be too
weird asking them to listen to me or at
least be there so that I don't feel like
there is no hope.
Any advice would be appricated.
I hope your all well.
Take care!
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-20-05 05:40am
Hey there,
it's really uncanny, but your posts really
do bring me back in time.
When I was in my leaving cert year, I
tried to reach out to a few teachers. I
remember opening up to a couple of
teachers that year (though it was still a
number of years before I really went for
help with ed). It went quite well. I
ended up spilling the beans to the
headmistress that year - she was an angel
- I had her for maths in first year, and
she really had the ability to make people
feel at ease.
I would encourage you to reach out to your
teachers - it is perfectly ok to ask for
help. I, like you, used to never talk in
sessions - thankfully, in time that too
did change.
Asking for help does not make you any less
of a person. It is only human to need
some support. Hope everything goes well
for you, and let us know how it goes (but
only if you wish).
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arthur ices
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2005 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-20-05 08:03am
It must be so hard to be as fat as you :
:d
i feel sorry for your mother
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-20-05 08:11am
I hope you ignore the previous persons
comments. Some people are just very
insensitive, and have no cop on. Well,
you know how I feel when people post
messages or send private messages such as
arthur above.
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lostoyou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 170 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-20-05 13:57pm
Oh my god, I had to laugh at that comment,
that person must really have problems if
they are going around making little of
others.
I think out of all of us, that person
needs alot of help because saying things
like that on this forum when people are
really suffering says alot about who that
person is and I have to say I pity them
alot.
Anyway thanks for your reply irish, I am
going to talk to her tomorrow but I don't
know what way she will take it, some
people do not understand what eating
distress really is and only look at your
weight so I am taking a chance but I think
it will be ok.
I hope you enjoy group tonight!
Take care!
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-22-05 06:41am
Hey there,
hope you were able to talk to one of your
teachers, and that it went ok.
