I've been in school now for four days and its been the way I thought it would be but hoped it wouldn't. The girls in my school are all so pretty and so thin and I feel like a fat !**@! amoung them.
I have forgotten how to study, I don't know what i'm meant to be doing. I suppose I should be going over notes and things but I just won't do it. All i've been thinking about is how it would be so much better if I were not here at all, that I would finally be free from life, free from hell.
There are teachers you can talk to in the school about things but I don't know if I would talk to them, I need to talk to someone because I can't go on like this or I will never get anywhere with regards to study.
I just want it all to end but I don't want to recover, I just want to die.
Its so dark and I don't know what to do, i'm stuck in a place from which I cannot escape and I haven't got my therapists to help me. Although I don't talk in session at least I know they are there and I can see them for at least an hour but I can't anymore and i'm losing it.
I don't know what to do, i'm so scared, I just want it all to end.
Do any of you think I could talk to the teachers in my school, would it be too weird asking them to listen to me or at least be there so that I don't feel like there is no hope.
Any advice would be appricated.
I hope your all well.
Take care!