I want it gone--really. I didn't have it very long, but I lost almost 20 pounds and my parents have certainly noticed. They took me to the doctor, but i'm going to be staying home with them. My bloodpressure is super low. My mom doesn't want me to see a nutritionist or a counseler though--she says that she is a doctor, too, and taht we don't need outside help. She's stuffing me full of food though!
I'm 14, 5 foot 2 and they say I need to weigh 100 pounds.... How many calories should I be eating? This morning, my mom forced me to drink almost three cups of soymilk and a cup of cheerioes. Is that too much? I want to recover, but I can't stop worrying. Three cups of milk has to be too much. I feel so stuffed now...
The food is only one aspect of what recovery from an ed entails. The reason that I developed ed was as a way of dealing with both myself and my life - none of which were pleasant. I honestly do not think it is possible to recover without the aid of a counsellor. You mom may be a doctor, but it appears that she is focusing on the physical and/or behaviours. Many people still have a lot of work to do on themselves, even after they manage the behaviours. I have been symptom free for a year not, but still don't consider myself recovered. Though I am nearing the end of my journey, there are still some aspects of my life I need to accept.
Recovery entails accepting both yourself and others, becoming more assertive, and honest about your values and beliefs. I know I have not answered your question about how much is too much etc. Firstly, everyone's set point (both weight and their metabollic rate) is very individual, and would prefer not to focus in on the food, lest it trigger someone else.
Best of luck with your recovery, and recovery is fully possible - it takes a lot of hard work and determination, but it is out there.
I actually do want to see the counseler, but don't want to argue with my mother. It would hurt her badly, I think, to even suggest that she can't "cure" me on her own. I really think she's going about this too fast, though. The milk and cheerios made me still full at lunch, but I ate this huge, 1 lb orange anyway. I felt so gross, but ate really slowly and got it down. It felt so weird, eating when I wasn't even hungry! For the last half a year, i'd been denying myself food even when I was starving, and now to be eating when i'm still half-full...!
One good thing though--i looked in the mirror a few minutes ago, and couldn't see my ribs at all. More surprisingly, this didn't make me feel horrible, like i'd expected. I actually thought, "hey, I look okay. I look sturdier now--not all like a skeleton."
I know you may feel you ate so much but really one orange for lunch is not a huge amount. Are you sure you drank 3 cups of milk?When I was first into anorexia, I thought 500 calories a day was so much i'd gain like a pound a day but I kept losing and losing. Please get help before it gets too bad. The more weight you lose the worse it will get.