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Q: Very Scared --- Please Read And Respond :(

asked by: veryscared on September 18th, 2005

New User

Hello,

i was recently married and had a baby. I have been suffereing from a sort of mid-life crisis from these major life changes (not to justify what I did), however I did do something bad, which I regret and will never do again.

I met up with an old friend (girl) and I open mouth kissed this girl for a few (5?) minutes, and did end up "fingering" her for about the same amount of time. I have impacted wisdom teeth which do puss up at times ( I do need to see dentist on this), though I am not sure of their condition at this time. I also am a habitual nail biter, and often "rip" or tear skin around the corner of my finger or cuticle area. I think at this time I had red -- either open with blood, or initial-scab on part of my cuticle, (howver, blood was not dripping down my finger). The whole episode (time we were near each other) did not exceed 10 minutes. I never removed any of my clothes, there was no actual intercourse.

It has been 30 days and now my wife has flu-like symptoms, she has experienced (for about a week) headaches, sore throat, runny nose / stuffieness, and now just started having stomache pain / diarreha... I have recently begun experiencing headaches / muscle achyness, joint pain, swollen lymph nodes (that hurt in neck chin), loose stool (worsening for about a week) and now diarrhea, and a 'cold' sensation in my throat and chest when taking deep breaths.

I do not know the status of the girl, and so I am assuming she is infected. I have gone to the state health department for rapid test at about 25 days (i realize it is not definitive until after 3 months), and it did come out negative...

I regret what I have done, and I surely will not do this again. I can live with having to pay for my own mistakes, but I cannot bear to think that my wife and _baby_ will suffer becasue of my on stupidity/insanity.

Half of what I read says these symptoms are a sign that I am infected, but the person at the clinic basically said that I didn't really even need to take the first test. I've also been told that there is only 1 reported case of transmission through kissing and zero through "fingering" there seems to be conflicting information everywhere. Please plase please shed some light on my probability of exposure, infection, both based on text book/internet "facts" and what your feelings are given your experiences and observations.

I am eagerly (and nauseously) await a response...

Please please help me.
(thank you)
-veryveryscared

Replies(6)

Bre_bre

replied on September 18th, 2005

New User

Well

Well I have never been in your situation but, I recently got married. I think you should sit down and have a talk with your wife regardless of you knowing your infected or not. I think that you should tell her so you dont have to live every day hidding something. I would also wait those three months and go back for a retest. Some people can be carriers of this and not even have it. Meaning you can spread it but not actually be infected. Its better to be safe then sorry. Dont ever do that again you need to be there 200% for your wife and baby. I would talk to the other girl also and see how infected she is. Good luck and I will be praying for you

paulv

replied on September 25th, 2005

Experienced User

How Can You Be Sure?

Hi scared married guy

the odds are pretty good that you don't have hiv or any
other std.
The type of sexual behavior that you described, if that is all you did,
would only rarely pass along the hiv virus.
While not exactly safe sex, it was low risk sex. And you only did it once for a short period of time. I am assuming that you washed your hands.
Now you do have some symptoms, and your wife has something too, not necessarily the same thing. It is probably some kind of influenza.
If it doesn't get better soon, get her checked for that at a clinic.
Keep in touch with your ex-girlfriend. You should keep uptodate on her
health, just in case.
As she would have to have a more advanced case, if in fact she did have hiv, she would show symptoms a lot earlier.

Good luck, paul v.

veryscared

replied on September 26th, 2005

New User

Well from what i've read on all authoritative hiv sites, kissing does not spread it (cdc reports only 1 case where both peoples mouths were disgustingly bloody) and there are no reported cases from 'fingering' I have also read that cut cuticle or not, this is almost zero risk, and is risk only in theory. Also, I have read that if you were to get it thorugh fingering, you would have had to cut the tip of your finger off with a knife and immediately insert into a girl would need to be menstrating.

So I hope this is the case. I've been feeling much better after reading this.

Thank you for your rsponses.

veryscared

replied on October 11th, 2005

New User

veryscared wrote:

well from what i've read on all authoritative hiv sites, kissing does not spread it (cdc reports only 1 case where both peoples mouths were disgustingly bloody) and there are no reported cases from 'fingering' I have also read that cut cuticle or not, this is almost zero risk, and is risk only in theory. Also, I have read that if you were to get it thorugh fingering, you would have had to cut the tip of your finger off with a knife and immediately insert into a girl would need to be menstrating.

So I hope this is the case. I've been feeling much better after reading this.

Thank you for your rsponses.

can anyone confirm this?

nursechick

replied on October 12th, 2005

New User

In nursing school we were taught that if both people do have open sores in there mouths that it can be spread this way but it is very unlikley

cd998776

replied on October 23rd, 2005

Active User, very eHealthy

You would not know based on your wife's symptoms as hiv has no symptoms. While it is possible to have become infected if you had a cut cuticle and the girl was infected, it is somewhat unlikely. When in doubt, get tested.

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