Hey guys I just need to get some stuff off my chest
i think im turning into my father im going through a pretty crap time at the moment n nothing anyone seems to do is helping
atm im pregnant with my second child although im wondering if its really such a good idea having another child atm
portia (my first child) is now 26 months and she is just hitting her terrible twos I know its only going to get worse or shes going to get worse before she gets better but lately I find myself wanting to do horrible things
i literally had to stop myself from hitting her the other day and I dont mean like I tap I mean a huge smack only way I could control it was to send her to her room while I calmed down
i know theres probably other people out there that have had simialiar experiences but it is just making me feel like a caca mother
i shouldnt be having thoughts about smacking a little innocent child that hard about wishing she was someone elses so I could hand her back and get some rest and some time to myself
i talked to my partner but he reckons its normal to feel like crap sometimes I just dont know anymore
do u guys think im horrible for thinking these things????
Im going to get help I think I just dont know if I should think like this or not anymore its normal to have one off day but ive had them for almost a week and its getting to the stage where I just dont want to get out of bed to her anymore because im worried she will upset me and make me angry and ill lash out!!!
The reason for thinking im turning into my father is because he bashed our family until I was 7 when mum kicked him out I suppose im worried that im going to end up just like him!!!