Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 70 Location: Geelong, Victoria, Australia
I Really Need Help Posted: 09-17-05 05:13am
Hey guys I just need to get some stuff off
my chest
i think im turning into my father im going
through a pretty crap time at the moment n
nothing anyone seems to do is helping
atm im pregnant with my second child
although im wondering if its really such a
good idea having another child atm
portia (my first child) is now 26 months
and she is just hitting her terrible twos
I know its only going to get worse or shes
going to get worse before she gets better
but lately I find myself wanting to do
horrible things
i literally had to stop myself from
hitting her the other day and I dont mean
like I tap I mean a huge smack only way I
could control it was to send her to her
room while I calmed down
i know theres probably other people out
there that have had simialiar experiences
but it is just making me feel like a caca
mother
i shouldnt be having thoughts about
smacking a little innocent child that hard
about wishing she was someone elses so I
could hand her back and get some rest and
some time to myself
i talked to my partner but he reckons its
normal to feel like crap sometimes I just
dont know anymore
do u guys think im horrible for thinking
these things????
Im going to get help I think I just dont
know if I should think like this or not
anymore its normal to have one off day but
ive had them for almost a week and its
getting to the stage where I just dont
want to get out of bed to her anymore
because im worried she will upset me and
make me angry and ill lash out!!!
The reason for thinking im turning into my
father is because he bashed our family
until I was 7 when mum kicked him out I
suppose im worried that im going to end up
just like him!!!
|
justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004 Posts: 1803
Posted: 09-17-05 05:52am
Hunni I know I posted to u on our boards,
but I just wanted to remind u, if u need
to talk. We're all here for u. Good luck
sweetie. Try not to let portia push ur
buttons...
|
Miss_KellieAnne
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 120 Location: Australia
Posted: 09-17-05 07:45am
No your not horrible for thinking these
things.
I cant imagine how hard it must be,
do you have someone you can call and talk
to when you get these feelings, like maybe
your mum or someone.
How often do you get to go out on your
own, maybe that would help too
but then again I dont know.
|
justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004 Posts: 1803
Posted: 09-17-05 14:00pm
See if danny or ur mom can take portia for
a day and go have a day for just urself.
Go do something relaxing cuz stress won't
help danny or portia or u and it certainly
won't help alex... Good luck hun! *hugs*
|
chepas
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 9 Location: New Zealand
Posted: 10-12-05 07:18am
I think you should try and get counciling.
If you've realised you need help then you
probably do (from my experience) and
whilst family and friends are good to get
support from they sometimes say things
that really don't help. I hope you work
through this. I'm sending support
throughts through the net from here to
you.
