Mind Reading Fears= Early Schizophrenia? Posted: 09-14-05 12:54pm
Hi all!
I am 15 going on 16, and over the last few
years i've been thinking some pretty odd
things!
I often feel watched, and when walking
along the street feel people are talking
about me. On extremes I think they are
reading my mind- but generally, I only
think this about my family! My dad has a
problem with his sinuses which causes him
to cough a lot, but when he does, I assume
he is being hostile and attempting to read
my mind. I'll automatically touch wood
to try and prevent this, but I end up
engaging him in an argument within my
mind, telling him not to read my mind- and
yet, at the same time, I know it's only me
i'm talking to, and that my dad may just
be listening to my inner conflict
silently. I feel that when he has got
eye contact or physical contact with me,
he can read my mind with much more ease,
but when he is at a great distance (out of
the house) he has much more difficulty.
If his presense isn't near, I don't feel
so paranoid. I feel the same about my
mum too, but to a lesser extent.
I touch wood not only to prevent people
reading my mind, but also to prevent bad
situations from happening. I will touch
wood very very often. Sometimes I feel
that I am part of a lesser part of
society, a class which was not born with
the ability to mind read and a class which
are therefore seen as inferior cripples by
others. Sometimes I think instead that
my dad is developing mind reading
technology with his work, and is testing
it on me. And sometimes I know that it
cannot be true, and yet feel it is at the
same time. It often makes me angry and
confused with my dad, yet I know he is not
trying to hurt me. When I am irritated
and he coughs, my stress level rises
through the roof and I will slam down on
the nearest wood in a pattern of three,
making him annoyed too.
I also have delusions of grandeur- I
confidently expect to one day be leader of
the earth- albeit a despotic and evil
leader attempting to shape humanity to a
perfect form. I read orwell's 1984 and
see myself bringing it about. I read
about doomsday predictions and see myself
as the prophesised anti-christ bringing
about the end of the world, though I am a
christian myself. I read about the
suffering of people in the world and reach
out to them, feel for them- I despise the
evil acts of people who cause deaths, and
I want to hurt them too in ways just as
bad. If angered, I will often console
myself in a way that I certainly
shouldn't- by saying to myself darkly,
dramatically that I will kill them all one
day. And that's something I know I
shouldn't be thinking!
While enjoying physical contact such as
snuggling with girls, I have no desire for
sex; and while finding them often very
attractive, I don't think the same about
girls in porn and avoid it. I have
always been jealous and suspicious in my
relationships. Once after a break-up I
orchestrated a grandiose scheme in my head
as to why it happened, involving many
friends in the plot- even though I was the
one to finish the relationship!
I have not had any definite
hallucinations, but sometimes things move
or shift in the corner of my eye, and I
see dark shadows like black cloaks
swooping through door cracks when I know
that my family are not about. This leads
me to think that people are watching me
and I will cast frequent glances over my
shoulder out through the window or peer
into hallways. I feel bugs crawling on
my legs when I can see one nearby, but
this might be owing to the fact that my
legs are rather hairy hehe. And I have
sometimes heard my dad shout my name from
downstairs, but on answering him, he
reacts in confusion and tells me he did
nothing of the sort.
So, are these the first signs of something
more?
Ocd for repetetive touching of wood?
Paranoia for believing things that can't
possibly be true?
Schizotypal for believing in
mindreading?
Or perhaps the beginnings of paranoid
schizophrenia?
Any feedback would be much appreciated-
it's all rather confusing! I'm not
really terribly depressed about it at the
moment, just baffled as to what I could be
facing!
|
yfguitarist
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Apr 2005 Posts: 44
Posted: 09-15-05 16:32pm
Sorry, but I have no idea, since I haven't
been diagnosed or even seen a psychiatrist
yet, only a psychologist.
I used to believe my dad was reading my
mind, too. Now I think that people are
talking about me or making fun of me. I
also hear people calling my name when no
one has said anything. I also see the
walls moving closer to me.
Any help?
|
evil pixie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 09-20-05 15:32pm
You could be just more neurotic than the
average person. I was diagnosed as that
in my teens- I was also paranoid about
everything as well as obsessive compulsive
(touching of wood in your case). For
example if I touched the left end of say,
a table with my right hand I felt it was
of crucial importance that I touch the
right end of the same table with my left
hand. :shock: to "regain the balance" or
something like that, it's hard to explain.
I would also get paranoid that my hands
were somehow soiled and would remedy this
by blowing (yes, blowing) on them. These
are just a few examples and I think they
are more than enough to classify me as a
weirdo but not a schizo. Most of these
needs and paranoias went away as I
matured. I'm 25 now and feel normal most
of the time, ha ha. The only times that I
feel some of my neuroses take over again
is when I feel depressed- for example I
had a long illness and death in my family
a few years ago that I took very badly and
went "all weird" again - this time without
some of my childhood quirks but with some
new ones- I got paranoid all the time; I
would start to suffocate in confined
spaces like lifts or public
transportation, I felt that I had to make
sure that every door handle I touch I
press all the way down (!!!), stuff like
that. And then it all went away again
after a few months. The better you feel
about yourself and the happier you are the
less frustrated you get in general. Then
the neuroses don't have a chance to take
you over. I wouldn't get too worried if I
were you, but it's not a bad idea to talk
to a professional; i've found that most
problems are a lot easier to solve after
you've told someone about it. They don't
seem so menacing then. I mean- you can't
tell whether you're schizophrenic by
yourself and the more you ponder on it the
more paranoid you'll become. Hope my
experience helps you :)))
|
Spinner1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 2
Posted: 09-22-05 01:51am
Neuroses ey? I'll look into that! Thanks
for the reply!
|
am i schizo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2005 Posts: 19
Am I Schizophrenic? Posted: 09-26-05 07:41am
Im 17 and am really confused. I know I
have social anxiety,low self esteem,manic
deppreasion and possibly a eating
disorders as I am goin 2 see a diet
trishion soon but im worried I could be
schizophrenic because of the amount of
cannibiss I have smoked and now I cant
trust any1 I feel like my family and
friends r against me conspiring even my
doctors in on it. Ive been comeing more
and more paranoid and am now out of work
cause of it. Its driveing me insane I
have loads of the symptoms but am still
unsure and ive heard that family,friends
and doctors dont tell schizophrenics that
they r and it can be made worse by finding
out but really need help finding out as I
cant even sit wiv friends without being
paranoid or thinking that they r saying
things about me which might just be miss
understanding them. I dont really hear
vioces but I have always known sumthing
was different about me but nobody would
tell me I just keep drifting off in2 a
world of my own and have been selfharming
even worse 8tly wiv needing stitches I
litterly find it a struggle 2go out of my
house anymore and even my old friends r
starting 2 say things bout me like ive
turned in2 a retard or im crazy. And ova
the past years it has started 2 lead 2 me
abuseing alchol and drugs more as its the
only way I can cope with wots goin on
inside my head. I feel like every1 is
against me and wants me dead.
|
ONDERDONK
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2004 Posts: 81 Location: red shift space,
Touch the Wood? Posted: 12-14-05 16:36pm
I'm diagnosed schizotypal, I don't take
meds, I have my ups and my downs, but I
maintain generally.
And I can relate to the things you're
saying;
i think they are all mind reading, but I
raationalize and say it's nothing
supernatural. There is a difference
between me and the "normal", non-sz
people. I call them the "worldly minded
camarilla", a small group of creatures
(but most of the humans) who are
unreasonably concerned with the actions
and intentions of others, and study facial
recognition, facial muscle reading, and
general intuitiveness and just plain
nosiness, for the purpose, they think, of
having some "control" over those around
them, and therefor, they think, to
increase their own power. Your father,
for example, head of the household, is
almost in charge of having some idea of
what your'e thinking, and it is easier for
him to comprehend when making physical or
eye contact, of course.
They say people like us are just
sensitive. Hyper sensistive, they say.
We just have to get used to it.
The worldly minded camarilla doesn't have
the sensitivity. They know we do. They
feel frightened, so they try to exersize
their own form of "power", the one where
they're superior. They know, for
instance, that i'm lying if I break eye
contact and look down to the right. I
hate that. But i'm not going to stoop to
their level and think about that kind of
stuff. Maybe I can't, i'm the other type,
the sensitive type;
so maybe they are superior, but superior
on an inferior field.
And here's my reaction to the "touching
wood" thing:
i'm not surprised it works, what surprises
me is that even though you've discovered
the power, you use it so infrequently.
Maybe you don't understand.
I have studied with shamans from around
the world. The only difference between sz
and shamanism, as far as I can tell, is
the line: "the dreamer must control the
dream, not the dream the dreamer".
They taught me about the tree's power.
But your connection with the wood seems so
"stacatto", only used in the most intense
moments when the power is needed, and then
only briefly, and then it may not even be
a living tree.
Go deep into the woods, pick a tree, hug
the tree, commune with the tree, invite
the tree into your mental life, have a
smooth, full, continuous relationship.
Welcome to your power.
-onderdonk
|
Lizardking
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Australia
Posted: 02-22-07 23:22pm
Hey guys i relate to all of this were are
you guy's from, i've got the same symptoms
and about being to sensitive that is crap
thats not fair anyway i'm from Australia
|
Lizardking
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Australia
Posted: 02-23-07 23:59pm
hope the guys that were in this forum are
still visiting these rooms because it's
hard to find people like us
|
Lizardking
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Australia
Re: Am I Schizophrenic? Posted: 02-25-07 21:45pm
am i schizo
wrote:
Im 17 and am really
confused. I know I have social
anxiety,low self esteem,manic deppreasion
and possibly a eating disorders as I am
goin 2 see a diet trishion soon but im
worried I could be schizophrenic because
of the amount of cannibiss I have smoked
and now I cant trust any1 I feel like my
family and friends r against me conspiring
even my doctors in on it. Ive been
comeing more and more paranoid and am now
out of work cause of it. Its driveing me
insane I have loads of the symptoms but am
still unsure and ive heard that
family,friends and doctors dont tell
schizophrenics that they r and it can be
made worse by finding out but really need
help finding out as I cant even sit wiv
friends without being paranoid or thinking
that they r saying things about me which
might just be miss understanding them. I
dont really hear vioces but I have always
known sumthing was different about me but
nobody would tell me I just keep drifting
off in2 a world of my own and have been
selfharming even worse 8tly wiv needing
stitches I litterly find it a struggle 2go
out of my house anymore and even my old
friends r starting 2 say things bout me
like ive turned in2 a retard or im crazy.
And ova the past years it has started 2
lead 2 me abuseing alchol and drugs more
as its the only way I can cope with wots
goin on inside my head. I feel like
every1 is against me and wants me
dead.
Your not the only one man!
|
BigDaddyPrimetime
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 49
Posted: 03-05-07 03:26am
Yeah the exact same things happened to me
when i was around 18 from smoking weed and
it led to me hearing voices. Things really
got outta hand when i stayed up 4 days on
speed. Just remember that it really IS all
in your head. If your average people could
read minds dont you think youd hear people
talking about their abilities more.
In my case i started thinking that
everyone is telepathic and i was only
developing telepathy but nobody is allowed
to talk about being telepathic because
there are government agents wholl kill you
or throw u in a mental asylum for talking
about it. I didnt even realize i was
becoming a delusional health questions. I
had a taste of paranoid schizophrenia at
the end of it all but remember this. You
can get rid of delusions and schizophrenia
just as easily as you brought it on. Im
talking from personal experience all i had
to do was change my beliefs. I still do
believe in ESP and paranormal but i dont
believe everybody around me can hear my
thoughts.
Dont worry now that youve spotted it you
dont have to let it go any further. I was
hearing voices up until i realized it was
all in my head and if its not and it is
ghosts or whatever talking to me i have
the power to get rid of them if theyre
pissing me off. Dont listen to people that
say schizophrenia or psychosis is
irreversible because im living proof its
not. Never resort to taking medication or
any of that caca. Also dont quit taking
drugs just because of that crap.
Personally im fine with every drug except
for weed which was the cause of my
psychosis and still when i smoke it these
days i get paranoia and mild psychosis but
when i concentrate i can snap out of my
paranoid daze. Thats why I still smoke the
stuff. Also some people might tell you
never take psychedelic drugs if your
slightly paranoid i say caca. Psychedelics
will give you the mind, power, and
determination to fix any mental problems
you have. At least they do for me. Try
small amounts at first and dont expect
anything to just fall on your lap it takes
intense mental struggles to solve mental
problems. Nothing in life thats worth
doing comes easy.
medical question I feel a spiritual guru
at the moment.
|
Lizardking
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Australia
Posted: 03-06-07 23:48pm
I partly beleive you man but some people
have these thoughts were they and i can't
switch out of them in anyway but i wish i
could thanks for ya help anyway
|
Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-14-07 15:39pm
mind reading fears are a classic symptom
of schizophrenia
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made.
Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008