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lostoyou

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Posts: 170
Location: Ireland
Back to School
Posted: 09-13-05 03:44am

Hey everyone, today after a year I am going back to school. Its been a pretty bad year in all but its over now so I guess I have to move on. I have been going to therapy everyday for the past year and still I do not want to recover. Yesterday was my last day going to therapy everyday and now I will go once a week, thats a bit weird but I don't mind because still the only thing I want to do is lose weight.
Anway I just thought i'd write before I get the bus into town. I'm not really nervous about going to school because for me its something to do while I lose weight. I know this is not a great plan but its my plan and I want it so badly.
K well I better go, I hope your all well.

Oh by the way I have two names on this forum, don't know why, my other name is brokenbutterfly. I just thought i'd tell you incase I reply to any of your posts under this name k.

Take care!
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irishamethyst

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 75
Location: Ireland

Posted: 09-13-05 05:51am

Best of luck with returning to school. I imagine that you're probably nervous on some level, after being away from it this past year. I hope the transition goes well for you. It's ok to feel that your not ready to recover - for years I was like that too, and it's really only over the past few years that things have changed. No matter how good a therapist one has, it is still up to each one of us to do the work ourselves. I know that can sound scary, but when the time is right, I believe that you will want it too!
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lostoyou

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Posts: 170
Location: Ireland

Posted: 09-13-05 11:04am

Thank you! I am just back now and it went well. I found myself smiling while the teacher was talking to us because I knew that this was going to be though and that I wanted it to be. I feel like I have not suffered enough yet and so I will continue struggle with this for as long as I think is needed, that doesn't sound very logical I know.
I have to say that your right, its really not about the therapist because I have one of the best therapists there is and she is so understanding as i'm sure you know, she is the factilor of the groups. She has done so much for me yet because I don't want to recover it has not made much of a difference but I know one day i'll be able to write that at least I want to recover but for now I shall keep dreaming about losing weight and that shall my life for now.
Thanks again for replying.

I hope your well.

Take care!
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waterbaby3214

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 May 2005
Posts: 31
Location: Michigan

Posted: 09-13-05 15:08pm

Hey ! Best of luck hun.I know that you will do great and i'll see ya in trinity next year !!
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lostoyou

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Posts: 170
Location: Ireland

Posted: 09-13-05 16:42pm

Hey babe, i've missed talking to you so much. How are you? Have you started your course yet? We'll be doing the same course, thats so cool. You can help me hehe.
Thanks a million for wishing me luck. I went in today and it wasn't bad though when I got home I found out that there is a girl I know from my old school who might be going too and she is totally off the wall. She has an ed but has not told anyone. I tried to get her to go to marino a few times but she was too scared. She follows me around like a lost puppy and I feel so sorry for her because she has no one but then again all she wants to do is talk to me about her behaviour and sometimes it gets a little too much so I just hope that this year she focuses on her studying. I;ll be there anytime she needs me of course but I also need to study my ass off it I am to get into socal work.
Won't you tell me what its like? How have you been getting on?
Its so great to hear from you.

Write soon if you can.

Love you lots xxx
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irishamethyst

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 75
Location: Ireland

Posted: 09-14-05 03:08am

If your friend from the last school does bother you, do you think you'd be able to tell her that you need some space? As you know, talking about behaviours is not helpful to either of you.

Best of luck with the study this coming year, and hope you get the course you want to. Try not to overdo it with the study though - I had a lot of catching up in my last year of school - due to my relliousness of not studying. Everyone always thought I was like my brothers (geniuses), so in an obscure way, I proved them wrong - hmmmm. I really regret that now. C'est la vie though.
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lostoyou

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Posts: 170
Location: Ireland

Posted: 09-14-05 04:08am

Thank you! I'm sure it will be ok. I'm would be too shy to tell her I need my space but I would be able to tell her that I need to study in order to do well becasue this is my last change at getting my leaving certe.
The thing is I actually love studying and always have so when I tend to start sometimes its hard for me to stop and at the moment i'm being encouraged by my mam to study as much as I can so that is what i'm going to do. Hehe I was able to make up my own time table yesterday but there are limations and the only way I was able to fit everything in was if I start class at 8.30 and finish at 5.30 with a one hour break inbetween. That is going to be hard, I can tell you that and then you get the choice to study until 8 which I have to do because my house can be so noisy that i'll never be able to study at home.

Well its going to be an interesting year to say the least and thank you for your support I really do appricate it.
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irishamethyst

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 75
Location: Ireland

Posted: 09-14-05 05:13am

Your post brings me back to my leaving cert. We had an optional evening study till 7.30pm - which I took on. It helped so much with interruptions too. My poor babes (the dog we used to have), had to wait till I got home though, before he got his evening walk :wink:. It is an important year, but it is eqully important to take time out as well. I have always, and still do, getoverwhelmed with exams. Hence the reason, the course i'm starting in october suits me well - that being with it being based on continuous assessments.

What are your new teachers like? If you need extra support, don't hesitate to reach out to them. Are you taking extra classes, outside of the usual 7 subjects?
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lostoyou

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Posts: 170
Location: Ireland

Posted: 09-14-05 16:55pm

I'm terrfied now. Tomorrow is my first real day and I just don't know what to do. I'm here seeing what I will wear because there is no uniform and its all about my weight. I have stopped the intensive today so I don't have that to really look forward to because I used to enjoy going to the centre to see all the people there.
Nope i'm not taking any class outside of school my time table is too full up that I wouldn't have time. I'm in school everyday at 8.30 and I won't be leaving till 8 at night. Its a long day one which I am not used to.
I am really doubting if I can do this because I need to want to do it and I don't. I don't see a point in life, I have spent the past year trying to kill myself and i'm so afraid what will happen this year.
I'm sure it will be fine when I get into it but just at the moment I am freaking out a little yet I can't even talk to anyone about it because I tend to keep things inside and so I don't talk to people about my fears or anything like that.
But i'm sure it will be ok, thanks for replying once again, you are very kind.

I hope your well!

Take care!
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irishamethyst

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 75
Location: Ireland

Posted: 09-15-05 04:04am

Try just to take it one day at a time - I remember how stressful my leaving cert year was - wouldn't go back for a million euro. Try not to overwhelm yourself with study either. I found that when I overstudied in the past, I couldn't remember anything the next day. My brain just went into meltdown. If you feel that you can't reach out to people, keep posting/writing about your fears, anxieties etc.
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