Hey everyone, today after a year I am
going back to school. Its been a pretty
bad year in all but its over now so I
guess I have to move on. I have been
going to therapy everyday for the past
year and still I do not want to recover.
Yesterday was my last day going to therapy
everyday and now I will go once a week,
thats a bit weird but I don't mind because
still the only thing I want to do is lose
weight.
Anway I just thought i'd write before I
get the bus into town. I'm not really
nervous about going to school because for
me its something to do while I lose
weight. I know this is not a great plan
but its my plan and I want it so badly.
K well I better go, I hope your all
well.
Oh by the way I have two names on this
forum, don't know why, my other name is
brokenbutterfly. I just thought i'd tell
you incase I reply to any of your posts
under this name k.
Take care!
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-13-05 05:51am
Best of luck with returning to school. I
imagine that you're probably nervous on
some level, after being away from it this
past year. I hope the transition goes
well for you. It's ok to feel that your
not ready to recover - for years I was
like that too, and it's really only over
the past few years that things have
changed. No matter how good a therapist
one has, it is still up to each one of us
to do the work ourselves. I know that
can sound scary, but when the time is
right, I believe that you will want it
too!
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lostoyou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 170 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-13-05 11:04am
Thank you! I am just back now and it went
well. I found myself smiling while the
teacher was talking to us because I knew
that this was going to be though and that
I wanted it to be. I feel like I have not
suffered enough yet and so I will continue
struggle with this for as long as I think
is needed, that doesn't sound very logical
I know.
I have to say that your right, its really
not about the therapist because I have one
of the best therapists there is and she is
so understanding as i'm sure you know, she
is the factilor of the groups. She has
done so much for me yet because I don't
want to recover it has not made much of a
difference but I know one day i'll be able
to write that at least I want to recover
but for now I shall keep dreaming about
losing weight and that shall my life for
now.
Thanks again for replying.
I hope your well.
Take care!
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waterbaby3214
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 May 2005 Posts: 31 Location: Michigan
Posted: 09-13-05 15:08pm
Hey ! Best of luck hun.I know that you
will do great and i'll see ya in trinity
next year !!
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lostoyou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 170 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-13-05 16:42pm
Hey babe, i've missed talking to you so
much. How are you? Have you started your
course yet? We'll be doing the same
course, thats so cool. You can help me
hehe.
Thanks a million for wishing me luck. I
went in today and it wasn't bad though
when I got home I found out that there is
a girl I know from my old school who might
be going too and she is totally off the
wall. She has an ed but has not told
anyone. I tried to get her to go to
marino a few times but she was too scared.
She follows me around like a lost puppy
and I feel so sorry for her because she
has no one but then again all she wants to
do is talk to me about her behaviour and
sometimes it gets a little too much so I
just hope that this year she focuses on
her studying. I;ll be there anytime she
needs me of course but I also need to
study my ass off it I am to get into socal
work.
Won't you tell me what its like? How have
you been getting on?
Its so great to hear from you.
Write soon if you can.
Love you lots xxx
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-14-05 03:08am
If your friend from the last school does
bother you, do you think you'd be able to
tell her that you need some space? As
you know, talking about behaviours is not
helpful to either of you.
Best of luck with the study this coming
year, and hope you get the course you want
to. Try not to overdo it with the study
though - I had a lot of catching up in my
last year of school - due to my
relliousness of not studying. Everyone
always thought I was like my brothers
(geniuses), so in an obscure way, I proved
them wrong - hmmmm. I really regret that
now. C'est la vie though.
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lostoyou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 170 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-14-05 04:08am
Thank you! I'm sure it will be ok. I'm
would be too shy to tell her I need my
space but I would be able to tell her that
I need to study in order to do well
becasue this is my last change at getting
my leaving certe.
The thing is I actually love studying and
always have so when I tend to start
sometimes its hard for me to stop and at
the moment i'm being encouraged by my mam
to study as much as I can so that is what
i'm going to do. Hehe I was able to make
up my own time table yesterday but there
are limations and the only way I was able
to fit everything in was if I start class
at 8.30 and finish at 5.30 with a one hour
break inbetween. That is going to be
hard, I can tell you that and then you get
the choice to study until 8 which I have
to do because my house can be so noisy
that i'll never be able to study at home.
Well its going to be an interesting year
to say the least and thank you for your
support I really do appricate it.
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-14-05 05:13am
Your post brings me back to my leaving
cert. We had an optional evening study
till 7.30pm - which I took on. It helped
so much with interruptions too. My poor
babes (the dog we used to have), had to
wait till I got home though, before he got
his evening walk :wink:. It is an
important year, but it is eqully important
to take time out as well. I have always,
and still do, getoverwhelmed with exams.
Hence the reason, the course i'm starting
in october suits me well - that being with
it being based on continuous
assessments.
What are your new teachers like? If you
need extra support, don't hesitate to
reach out to them. Are you taking extra
classes, outside of the usual 7 subjects?
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lostoyou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 170 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-14-05 16:55pm
I'm terrfied now. Tomorrow is my first
real day and I just don't know what to do.
I'm here seeing what I will wear because
there is no uniform and its all about my
weight. I have stopped the intensive
today so I don't have that to really look
forward to because I used to enjoy going
to the centre to see all the people there.
Nope i'm not taking any class outside of
school my time table is too full up that I
wouldn't have time. I'm in school
everyday at 8.30 and I won't be leaving
till 8 at night. Its a long day one which
I am not used to.
I am really doubting if I can do this
because I need to want to do it and I
don't. I don't see a point in life, I
have spent the past year trying to kill
myself and i'm so afraid what will happen
this year.
I'm sure it will be fine when I get into
it but just at the moment I am freaking
out a little yet I can't even talk to
anyone about it because I tend to keep
things inside and so I don't talk to
people about my fears or anything like
that.
But i'm sure it will be ok, thanks for
replying once again, you are very kind.
I hope your well!
Take care!
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-15-05 04:04am
Try just to take it one day at a time - I
remember how stressful my leaving cert
year was - wouldn't go back for a million
euro. Try not to overwhelm yourself with
study either. I found that when I
overstudied in the past, I couldn't
remember anything the next day. My brain
just went into meltdown. If you feel
that you can't reach out to people, keep
posting/writing about your fears,
anxieties etc.