Or, stop deluding yourself and masturbate
like a normal human being. The fact that
your best advice is for him to brainwash
himself with religion just goes to prove
how unnatural it is to NOT masturbate,
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NoBigSecret
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jan 2008 Posts: 1
5 years old and starting with a sexual addiction? Posted: 01-23-08 21:12pm
This is probably going to be bizarre to
most who read this, but hopefully someone
else out there can relate or know where I
should look for answers...
My addiction if that's what it is, started
around age 5 I believe. It started with
one of my aunts because she smoked.
Whenever she was around, I would always
want to sit on her lap when she smoked. I
didn't "get" the reason I was attracted,
but I was. At that age I would use
crayons and paper to make my own play
cigarettes and matches. I had a huge
fascination with matches, lighters,
anything to do with fire or smoking. I
didn't look at it as "being like a grown
up". No this was a sexual response. As I
grew older, my desire for burning paper,
smoking, lighters, all of those things
stayed with me and grew with me.
Before I was old enough to even
masturbate, I was getting some kind of
sexual high from these things. Once I did
hit the age of self-interest, I began to
masturbate and absolutely loved it.
Eventually all of it came together. By 15
years of age I was secretly smoking while
masturbating. Eventually I started
smoking regularly, but always smoked
during masturbation and if I had a partner
that was "into it" I smoked while having
sex. By the age of 23 I began smoking pot
because I knew that it would increase the
pleasure of masturbation or sex. It did
and now at the age of 38 I still smoke
cigarettes, have smoked pot on and off,
but still have this deep urge to
masturbate even if i'm not horny...
usually forcing myself to become aroused.
This has caused obvious problems in one
out of the five relationships I've been
in. I agree that it has taken away from
my relationships because I have made
efforts to stay up after my partner goes
to bed, just so I can masturbate. This
being the case even though she actually
enjoys watching me masturbate. Well five
years into this relationship and I've hit
another area I didn't expect. One night
my gf and I were talking on the phone and
she mentioned that she thought I would
really enjoy performing oral sex on
another man. At first I was shocked,
horrified and almost cut it off from her
for even suggesting something like that.
Long story short, it never happened, yet
at least, but it did actually become a
part of our "fantasy talk" and we've
incorporated it in our sexual adventures
many times. I have no real interest in
doing this since I am not attracted to
men, but I have to admit that the idea of
performing such has become yet another
addition to my addiction.
BTW I wasn't molested as a kid, I don't
watch porn, in fact I don't own any
movies, magazines or surf for it. For some
reason when I have experimented with porn,
it seemed more of a distraction. Yes, the
smoking fetish. Also, I have only
ejaculated once per day ever since I can
remember. It's a rare occasion if I do
more than once in the same day. One
poster mentioned eight times a day. I
would be dead by now if I had to satisfy
my messed up craving eight times a day. I
just like to have sex with my gf or
masturbate (with or without her present).
The question I guess I really want to get
answered is, how in the world do you
control something like this when it
started at such a young age for no reason
that I can define.
I've stopped smoking before and the sexual
craving I would get for a cigarette would
eventually win out and I would smoke while
masturbating and the process just repeats.
Until I know the source or how to control
it, I feel like it's controlling me.
Also, I was very religious growing up and
even the notion then that my actions could
cause me some problems spiritually, it
didn't stop me.
I've never heard of anyone else having a
sexual addiction tied in with smoking.
Together, it's a real bad ass... one that
so far I haven't beat.
I would love to get a grip on this so I
don't screw up this relationship or kill
myself from smoking. So far, nothing and
I mean nothing has worked.
Any ideas?
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
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Posted: 01-23-08 21:29pm
It's a fetish, and actually the connection
between smoking and "being sexy" is
extremely common. Ever wonder why sexy
stars smoke? How about the manly heroes?
Smoking and sexuality is very intertwined.
It's not so unnatural to take a childhood
fascination and develop it into a sexual
fetish as an adult. As long as this isn't
creating a void between you and your
girlfriends then I don't think it's a
problem.
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2abile
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 1
Best response and personal view Posted: 03-11-08 08:13am
Eiri, of all the posts I've seen reading
this, I believe yours have made the most
sense.
I googled this topic because I have been
questioning if I'm addicted, or if I just
really like it a lot. I've been
masturbating for most of my life, and I
don't see it as wrong or as a problem in
general. Everyone does it, and if they
don't they probably should. I've been
struggling on and off over the years about
not doing it so much, or just cutting it
out completely. Sometimes I go a few days
without, sometimes I can masturbate
numeorus times in one day. I've found
myself doing it more often lately, coupled
with not being able to sleep well (may or
may not be related), which lead me to
researching this idea of masterbation as
an addiction. I think that any activity
that interferes with the daily operation
of your life (work, school, ect) is an
addiction, or has a negative effect on
your health, mental state, or bank
account. For me, this is really nither.
There is no negitive effect to
masterbating. In fact, a while back I
bought a sex toy because I was tired of
just using my hand. Probably the best
thing I ever did, my stamina is better now
than before. When I started seeing someone
later, the sex was great. I lasted a long
time and she was multi-orgasmic. I actualy
went to bed one night after a great
session without climaxing (but not
unsatisfied). We woke up the next morning
and finnished it off. When we broke up a
few weeks later, it was due to
personalities and social setting, not
because I jerked off when I wasn't
sleeping with her.
The thing is, I don't feel an overwhelming
urge to pleasure myself if I'm out doing
things (work, socializing). It's when I'm
at home with nothing to do, or going to
bed alone, that I crave that attention, so
I go take care of it. That's been more
often, since income's been tight lately. I
have no wife or girlfriend to satisfy my
sexual desires for me. Is it really better
to ignore them untill I find one? Should I
be hitting the bars for one night stands
to satisfy myself? I have noticed as I get
older that I am picky about the type of
women I like, so "going out and getting a
girlfirend" isn't as easy as it is typed.
I really think the big question here (for
me at least) isn't, "is this ok?" or "am I
addicted," but rather "how do I find
someone who shares my same enthusiasim for
sex?"
You die a little death each time you
ejaculate. That's classic!
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
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Posted: 03-11-08 21:44pm
I don't think you should ignore your
sexual urges. I definitely don't think you
should hit up random bars and possibly
catch an STD. Masturbation is a completely
healthy way to relieve sexual tension.
The best advice for finding someone who
likes sex is to date! I really can't give
much advice on that because I'm pretty
much inexperienced with the dating scene.
But for health reasons, you really really
shouldn't "sleep around".
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Dijon
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 03-18-08 20:26pm
people just say masterbation is normal
because they want an excuse to keep on
sinning and try to be like the animal
kindgom. We are not monkeys and we never
were! Masterbation is the lust of the
flesh as Jesus condemned. All who have sex
before marriage destroy their own
soul(proverbs 6:32) All who masterbate
destroy their own mind;become perverts and
commit sexual crimes. How do u think child
molesters and pedophiles are made? it
first starts with the masterbation, then u
go to porn, then u commit the act. then
its either STD's or Jail, and finally a
big bucket of Hell for you as eternal
punishment. Bible says that all things
which are seen are temporal, but the
things which are not seen are
eternal(GOD). What would u choose: 5
minutes of sexual pleasure and then its
over and done with, or eternal life in
Jesus Christ forver saved in the kingdom
of God, you must forsake all sin to be a
follower of Christ(2 timothy 2:19).
remember this to all the people who
masterbate(<--im guilty too) and have
pre-marital sex. Heres what God has to
say;
Proverbs 27:20 "Hell and destruction are
never full; so the eyes of man are never
satisfied."
Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is
death; but the gift of God is eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord."
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-19-08 09:58am
I am Christian, and I find your post
offensive! I cannot see how either of the
scriptures you have quoted prove
masturbation is bad.
"Committing the act" is also not a sin. It
is not illegal. If you have safe sex, you
will not get STD's, and I can't possibly
see how two consenting adults could end up
in jail for having legal sex.
And as God forgives us through Jesus, even
in your eyes a person who masturbates will
go to heaven if he believes in God, no
matter how many times he "sins". I think
God is far more worried about people
murddering each other than a
little boy enjoying himself in his room!
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exodia69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 33
Posted: 03-26-08 13:23pm
i think its a habit that cant entirely be
kicked...
well thinking back to the most ever iv
been addicted to masturbating was a year
or so ago i was very depressed and watched
alot of porn to kill the boredom i think i
was masturbating about 6 times daily for a
month, thats a half a year worth of wanks
in one month...
i think personally this needs to be
brought up in school sex ed and taken off
the list of taboo, this issue needs to be
addressed very seriously and cautiously,
by some very fanatical anti-masturbation
doctors, don't forget to teach girls the
dangers as well... cause i think girls can
get addicted to this but its just less
common or less heard of.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-26-08 13:55pm
Wait, you think ANTI-masturbation doctors
would make great educators about
masturbation!? I think a good doctor to
teach about masturbation would be one who
knows it is OK to masturbate and knows it
is a very healthy and normal behavior.
THEY would teach proper masturbation
behavior.
An anti-masturbation doctor would only
teach pure abstinence, and that would not
stop masturbation.
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exodia69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 33
Posted: 03-26-08 14:00pm
the parents... to teach their children...
then people will think the parents are
child molesters for teaching their
children how frequently to masturbate...
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
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Posted: 03-26-08 14:05pm
Why would people think that? Would YOU?
How would anyone else know that a child
has been told how many times to
masturbate? It's not something people
normally talk about.
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exodia69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 33
Posted: 03-26-08 14:17pm
nah, not me but there are some ignorant
people out there.
