Hey, I am an 18 year old male and I need
some advice. I find myself compulsively
masturbating several times a day, once 8
times in one day!!
Can anyone offer any advice on how to keep
this addiction under control?!
Thanks
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saglamh23
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 61 Location: Türkiye
Posted: 09-12-05 05:58am
Find a girl friend...:)
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askara
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 May 2005 Posts: 229 Location: South East England
Posted: 09-12-05 06:11am
Is there a reason why you do it so much?
There is a saying, the devil makes work
for idle hands, if you are bpored find
something else to do.
But if you do get a girlfriend then make
sure shes conferatable with you still
masturbaiting I knwo too many people who
are stupid enough to think that just
cauise a guy is in a relationmship he wont
wank but in realisty.. Sometimes theres
no other way to get rid of that morning
sunrise!
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cd998776
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Aug 2005 Posts: 996 Location: Ohio
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-12-05 23:20pm
Don't really have any way to help you
stop, but maybe these side effects of
over-masturbating will deture you.
-fatigue. Feeling tired all the time
-lower back pain
-thinning hair / hair loss
-soft / weak erection
-premature ejaculation
-eye floaters or fuzzy vision
-groin / testicular pain
-pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and
tail bone
-participants experience problems with
concentration and memory
additionally, your body needs time to
replace some of the chemicals used
everytime you ejaculate, which usually
takes 8-48 hours depending on your body.
Anything over 3 times a day, everyday is
already to much. A good rule is once or
twice, every 1-3 days.
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Eljey
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Sep 2005 Posts: 7 Location: West Indies
Masturbation Posted: 09-13-05 08:28am
Forbsey,
i struggled with masturbation for over ten
years. I say struggled because it always
presented a dilemma for me: on the one
hand it satisfied my craving for the
physical pleasure of sex, but on the
other, it always left me more convinced
than ever that there was something very
wrong about this practice - in spite of
the fact that most of the literature on
the subject says the opposite.
I realize that some “authorities”
actually encourage it. Among other
things, they argue that the need for
sexual fulfilment is natural, hence
essentially no different from the need for
food, water, rest etc.
My dilemma caused me to do some honest
soul-searching that eventually led to some
firm conclusions. One is that the desire
for sexual stimulation cannot honestly be
placed in the same category as the need
for food, water, rest and so on. Sex is
essentially a shared experience. It is
only when someone else is involved that
our sexuality has meaningful expression.
There is a simple yet fundamental and very
important principle that so many have
missed: it is that, apart from the purpose
of procreation, your sexuality was given
to you not for your own gratification, but
for the fulfilment of the needs of another
– specifically your spouse (the one with
whom you have made a covenant).
Consider this: if, in having sex, your
focus and intention is to please your
spouse and hers is to please you, there
will be no basis for self-centred
behaviour. Self-centred behaviour, as
you know, is the enemy of relationships
and the basic cause of marital breakdown.
This is basic stuff that each generation
should be passing on to the next. God
knows how many lives would have been
spared the tragedy of broken relationships
had individuals known and practised this
principle from childhood.
I had to face the fact that masturbation
is nothing more and nothing less than the
practice of self-gratification. Since
you are the only person being satisfied,
when you masturbate you are actually
training yourself – both mentally and
physically - to think and respond
selfishly in relation to sex. Do you
think that a selfish mindset is a good
thing to bring to any relationship?
The other conclusion I came to was that
neither my physical health nor my
emotional well-being depended on finding
an outlet for my sexual desires. The
fact is that you do not have to
masturbate. One author said that if you
weren’t having sex regularly,
masturbation was a natural way of easing
the sexual tension that builds when the
body needs to get rid of excess semen.
However, the truth is that the body
reabsorbs excess semen. Sexual tension
has more to do with your mind than your
body.
In any case, you can successfully practise
self-control. I believe that, even
though it is the harder choice, you do
yourself far greater service by practising
self-control than by taking the easy
choice and practising self-gratification
–whether single or married. It has
been shown that couples who are
disciplined, unselfish and committed to
pleasing each other -rather than pleasing
themselves - enjoy far greater sexual
satisfaction.
The question is, for someone who has
already formed the habit, how do you
overcome masturbation, given the highly
addictive nature of sex. I can only tell
you what has worked for me. I had to
start by being honest, not only about what
is wrong with masturbation itself, but
also being honest about the thoughts and
actions that predispose me to practising
it. But what has really allowed me to
overcome the habit has been my
relationship with jesus. The closer I am
to him, the easier it is to overcome. It
is a very simple principle.
The hardest part is to be consistently
honest. I had to admit to the lord that
even though I knew and acknowledged that
masturbation was in fact selfish
indulgence and a misuse of my sexuality
and that I did not have to do it to remain
healthy mentally or physically, there was
a part of me that craved the pleasure
associated with it.
I have proven over and over again that
jesus is able to zap the desire to
masturbate if I call upon him when tempted
- I mean absolutely take it away.
However, I have also learned that he
expects me to be mature enough to
cooperate with him by making honest
choices about what thoughts I allow to run
through my mind and what actions I do that
carry a high risk of re-activating the
habit. If I make dishonest choices I
have no right to expect him to rescue
me.
Forbsey, I hope that what I have shared
has been helpful to you. I have been
praying for you ever since I read your
post and will continue to do so, not only
about this particular problem but also
about the others you mentioned,
particularly the thoughts of suicide. I
admire and respect you for your honesty
and I sincerely believe that god has great
things up ahead for you. Call upon jesus
and make up your mind not to surrender to
hopelessness. The only answer I have
found for hopelessness is jesus.
There is more I would like to share with
you from my own experience if you desire.
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 09-13-05 08:46am
That was wonderful. Very helpful--thank
you for helping and explaining in detail
how you were helped.
You could have just said jesus--but it
would not have helped another without the
rest. I am also a christian and female.
I started having same problems of
masterbation from a very young age due to
being raped and having a cousin who taught
me how to at 7 yrs old. It has also been
a battle for me, I will learn from what
you wrote also--thank you
god bless you
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dpurifi
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2005 Posts: 5 Location: New Jersey
Alot of Masterbation Posted: 09-13-05 10:52am
My boyfriend has this problem as well..
But the thing is, he can masterbate in one
day, like 2 times alone, then we'll be
together and have sex for hours, and he
cums like another 5 times, and then
afterwards while im sleeping, its like he
needs to do it again.. He also loves to
look at porn and stuff like that.. Which
I dont mind much.. I figure, if this is
the way his body is, then fulfill your
need, as you need to. Its not like he
takes up all his energy and has none left
for me... Thats for sure.. But im afraid
as he gets older, its gonna like, fall off
or something.. Also, I have a question..
From doing this so often, can one become
sterile?, cause I notice the change in
consistency of the cum after the first
couple of ejaculations..And we've been
trying to have a baby, with no success...
But by all means, i'm not complaining at
all about my sex life..But it does worry
me a little bit.. I would hate to think
of it as him being selfish.. But sounds
right to me..
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cd998776
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Aug 2005 Posts: 996 Location: Ohio
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Alot of Masterbation Posted: 09-13-05 23:52pm
dpurifi
wrote:
also, I have a question..
From doing this so often, can one become
sterile?, cause I notice the change in
consistency of the cum after the first
couple of
ejaculations..
no, this often
happens after the first couple
ejaculations. But if your trying to have
a baby, you'll want to make sure its the
1st or 2nd ejaculation that counts, not
the 5th, 6th, etc...
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ProZackMI
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Aug 2005 Posts: 64
Posted: 09-14-05 08:56am
Jesus christ...What a crock of crap.
Look kid, you're 18...Jack off as much as
you want. There are no side effects.
You should look into getting a partner,
male or female, to enjoy sex with, but
don't listen to any of these people who
tell you there are negative side effects.
I'm a medical doctor. Based on my
personal and professional experience,
there are no harmful side effects to
masturbation other than the social
stigma.
If anyone disagrees, I suggest you go
through four years of medical school and
four years of internal medicine residency
first, then you'll be in a position to
debate me.
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cd998776
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Aug 2005 Posts: 996 Location: Ohio
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-15-05 22:58pm
It's not the masturbation that causes the
problem, but rather the excessive
ejaculations. Learning to orgasm without
ejaculating (which really is possible),
will allow you to have the pleasures of an
orgasm, without ejaculating 8 times a day.
There is a long thread around here
somehwere that goes very indepth behind
the effects in what not on this subject,
but I can't seem to find it at the moment.
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sea_aviatrix
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2005 Posts: 8 Location: gilbert, az
Divert Your Attention Posted: 09-15-05 23:24pm
There's more to life than being an
18-yr-old masturbation-addict! One piece
of advice kiddo, anything that's too much
is bad, moderation is the key.
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verypregnant
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2005 Posts: 76 Location: Maryland
Posted: 09-16-05 05:57am
Youre 18!!!!!!!! Its normal for any young
adult to "explore" with their body so
much. I wouldnt worry about it too much
right now. And think....If every time u
felt the "urge" you found some willing
female, you would definately be put at a
higher risk for an std. Its nothing wrong
with a high sex drive esp. Not at ur age.
jesus christ...What a crock
of crap. Look kid, you're 18...Jack
off as much as you want. There are no
side effects. You should look into
getting a partner, male or female, to
enjoy sex with, but don't listen to any of
these people who tell you there are
negative side effects. I'm a medical
doctor. Based on my personal and
professional experience, there are no
harmful side effects to masturbation other
than the social stigma.
If anyone disagrees, I suggest you go
through four years of medical school and
four years of internal medicine residency
first, then you'll be in a position to
debate me.
do you imply that you have been in medical
school for four years and you four years
of internal medicine residency?
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ProZackMI
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Aug 2005 Posts: 64
Posted: 09-16-05 10:41am
volcano
wrote:
prozackmi
wrote:
jesus christ...What a crock
of crap. Look kid, you're 18...Jack
off as much as you want. There are no
side effects. You should look into
getting a partner, male or female, to
enjoy sex with, but don't listen to any of
these people who tell you there are
negative side effects. I'm a medical
doctor. Based on my personal and
professional experience, there are no
harmful side effects to masturbation other
than the social stigma.
If anyone disagrees, I suggest you go
through four years of medical school and
four years of internal medicine residency
first, then you'll be in a position to
debate me.
do you imply that you have been in medical
school for four years and you four years
of internal medicine
residency?
no, i'm flat out saying i'm a physician.
Md from michigan state university college
of human medicine. I'm not a urologist,
but I am an internist/psychiatrist, and
honestly, don't worry about any physical
side effects to masturbation. There are
only three possible negative aspects to
too much masturbation:
1) it takes away time from social
activities with females/dating, etc.
2) it may cause some chaffing of the skin
due to friction (big deal)
3) it may reduce your seminal output
somewhat if done repeatedly.
None of those things are serious, however,
at 18. Enjoy your body, kid, and spank
it as much as your body tells you it
needs. I'm 34 and have been
masturbating for years and i've never had
any side effects. I've never seen a
clinical case of excessive masturbation.
Don't listen to anyone who tells you
otherwise. The medical evidence does
not support that there is any harm. In
fact, recent research indicates that young
men who masturbate frequently are less
likely to get prostate cancer in their
later years.
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Eljey
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Sep 2005 Posts: 7 Location: West Indies
Masturbation Addiction Posted: 09-17-05 13:58pm
This young man is not asking for our
opinions on the physical effects of
masturbation. He is crying out for help
with an addiction – a compulsive
behaviour that he is unable to control.
Perhaps I have never experienced what he
is going through to the extent that he
describes, but for years I knew what it
was like to be a slave to one’s own
sexual desires. From my own experience,
there is nothing healthy about being
enslaved by one’s own body –physically
or emotionally.
Even if the negative physical effects of a
compulsive behaviour such as masturbation
were, in fact, insignificant – one would
still have to deal with the psychological
effects, which can be devastating. I
found that they far outweighed the
pleasure I got from the habit. I can
only speak for myself, but I feel so much
better about myself since being set free
from the habit of masturbation.
Isn’t it ironic that the very means this
young man chose to bless himself has
become a curse to him?
P.S. The judge who was caught
masturbating while presiding over a case a
few months ago brought disgrace not only
to himself, but also his family and his
profession. We can be sure that he did
not get to that point overnight. What
began years back as a private means of
self-gratification eventually became such
a powerful compulsion that he began to
entertain thoughts of doing it in a public
place. Evidently he felt it could be
done discreetly. It seems that he
didn’t factor in the risk and cost of
being caught.
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Eljey
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Sep 2005 Posts: 7 Location: West Indies
Serious Food For Thought Posted: 09-17-05 21:43pm
Since my last post I found a site that
provides very serious food for thought for
those who think masturbation is harmless.
It takes a sobering look at masturbation
and pornography in the light of their
effect on relationships. I would
encourage anyone who is sincerely looking
for answers where these issues are
concerned to visit this site.
The site is: all about life challenges.
You'll find it under the search:
masturbation addiction
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KiareKiare
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Sep 2005 Posts: 12 Location: Arizona
Posted: 09-21-05 15:53pm
Better masturbating all the time than
having sex with people you don't really
care about to satisfy the cravings -
definitely safer.
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Eljey
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Sep 2005 Posts: 7 Location: West Indies
Masturbation Posted: 09-22-05 09:02am
Kiarekiare,
in terms of not catching a disease, one
would have to agree that having sex with
yourself is safer than having it with
someone else. There was a time when I
was willing to use that as an excuse for
masturbating - nobody gets pregnant and
nobody gets sick. However there is a
downside to this philosophy that I only
discovered later: having sex with yourself
does not protect you from becoming a sex
addict. In fact, for obvious reasons,
you are far more likely to become enslaved
to sex by practising masturbation than by
having a partner. This is the main
issue being dealt with in this forum:
enslavement to one’s own sexuality.
I know from personal experience how
damaging masturbating can be to one’s
own sense of worth (and I never even went
nearly as far as others have described
about their addiction.) believe me when I
say that you feel less than a man – even
less than a human being – when the
slightest stimulus (whether originating
externally or in your mind) triggers an
intense struggle with your sexual desires,
often ending in you scuttling off
somewhere to privately abuse yourself.
You said that it is better to masturbate
than to have sex with someone you do not
care about. I say both are wrong,
since both are a misuse of sexuality.
Is masturbating really caring for
yourself? Is the pleasure you get
from stimulating yourself worth the price
you may have to pay later, not only in
terms of becoming addicted and the
accompanying loss of self worth, but also
in terms of the damage that can be done to
a relationship? (what woman likes to
know that her husband gets more
satisfaction sexually from himself than
from her?)
it all comes down to how we see the
purpose of our sexuality. If we are
honest, we have to admit, first of all,
that sex cannot be categorized simply as
another physical need along with hunger,
thirst, rest etc. For reasons that
should be obvious and clear, sex is in a
category by itself and on a higher level
of responsibility and accountability,
since it serves two very special purposes
- the bonding of two individuals together
in a spiritual union that the bible calls
one flesh, and the bringing into existence
of another human being. By its very
nature, then, it has meaning only as a
shared experience. This is why
masturbation and pornography – two
entirely selfish pursuits – are a misuse
and abuse of human sexuality.
Is it not sad that in this age of
information – and supposed enlightenment
– so many have missed the simple truth
that our sexuality (in terms of its
capacity to give pleasure) is given to us,
not for our own gratification, but for the
fulfilment and satisfaction of another
(specifically one with whom we have made a
covenant commitment)?
Isn’t it better to teach our children
the value of developing the mental
toughness needed to avoid self-indulgence
in any form- whether it is to do with
their sexuality or their eating or
recreational needs – than to take the
easier unprincipled road of self
gratification that so easily leads to
addiction and all the negative
consequences?
If we are to be honest we have to admit
that it is unwise to ignore the fact that
the practice of masturbation often leads
to involvement in pornography. I
wonder how many have read the testimony of
ted bundy who raped and killed as many as
thirty females. Certainly there were
other factors in his background, but bundy
admitted that pornography was a major
force that shaped his destiny, as it has
been, he mentioned, in the lives of all
the other killer-rapists whom he met in
prison.
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KiareKiare
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Sep 2005 Posts: 12 Location: Arizona
Posted: 09-22-05 13:04pm
I see your point, but you also can't
assume that because someone masturbates a
lot when they are young means they will
turn into a sexual predator, or enjoy it
more than sex.
If masturbation interferes with a person's
every day activities - yes it is a
problem, but if not then frequent
masturbation is not unhealthy.
it is possible to be
addicted to sex or masturbation. This
can develop because of many different
reasons. To read more about this type of
addiction try sexual addiction and sexual addiction
part 2
interesting article.
I would like to get help for this but its
not the kind of thing you bring up when
speaking to your doctor - I get
embarrassed easily as it is!
I am now at the stage where I have to
masturbate just to feel normal, like some
kind of drug. Although i'm down from an
average of 5 times a day to 4, its all
about small steps as they say. Maybe if I
deal with my depression, anxiety and my
past, which I am current doing with the
help of counselling sessions, then it will
gradually go away.