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to Trust Or Not to Trust

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September 8th, 2005
This is the situation: I have been dating a girl for about a year now and she has quite the past of broken relationships. She has been married 3 times. The first one lasted a few weeks, the second lasted a few years none which by infidelity on her part. The 3 one she was married for 7 years then had an affair with some guy at work. They were separated for 2 years then divorced. All of these men are from work in which I at times see the one she had an affair with. He has on several occasions made contact with her in hopes of getting back together, but she has told him numerous times to back off. I have heard the statement on several occasions ''once a cheater....Always a cheater" is that really true????? Should I just put the past behind us or move on to something else??? I do trust her , but I have my insecurities with her. My real concern is she become attracted to someone else in the work place and that will be it. Is history going to prevail.
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Galodis
replied September 25th, 2005
It is human nature to repeat the past. But some people overcome that. It depends on alot of things. How much u trust her, how much she regrets doing it. Personaly I would trust her half/half. It would always run through my head that she may cheat on me. Talk to her about it. Tell her the truth.
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jjc295
replied October 10th, 2005
From my experience trust isn't something I decide to give. Someone earns my trust. If you have any doubts, then in some way you do not trust her, and rightly so since she has a history of cheating. My point is that you can't decide to trust. Trust is something that comes naturally. If you like her, stay with her. You not trusting her is just a fact, a fact that will eventually change depending on how your relationship goes.
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Justin_Toronto
replied October 11th, 2005
Experienced User
I've always liked to give people the benefit of the doubt.. If she trully does not want to be a cheater, she won't be.

Unfortuntely, this has also taught me some valuable lessons. Now, I do believe once a cheater, always a cheater. After you've done it once, it's easy to do it again.

Personally, the red stop signs are showing up everywhere based on her past experiences. You're only as good as the choices to made to become the person you are today. There is no such thing as "forgetting the past". You made those choices, you decided to be the person you are, now deal with it. If you have a problem with it, you should've have done what you did. Plain and simple. Self-respect isn't what it used to be...
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