How to Deal With Him???

Stick him in a quiet, dark room so he can relax and sleep lay for at least a week or possilbe little longer as he is going through withdrawl. It's very hard for him physically and mentally to go through this as just one drink would take the withdrawl away and he knows this. Give him credit for what he's doing and be very gentle and understanding with him. Take a walk by yourself if you need to cool down or get away from things. I know he's very moody but try not to take any of it to heart. If at any time he needs you to take care of him it's now, plenty of rest liquids, hard candies may help the withdrawl too, keep the house as quiet as you can, and consider him out of order. After a week or so he'll need to keep busy so maybe you can explain to him that you've decided to let him get all the rest and tlc that he needs for the next 7 days but after that you'll expect him to get busy. Keeping busy after his withdrawls are finished will be the best thing for him, it'll keep his mind off of his addiction. If he gets through the next two weeks he's more likely to stop drinking completely, these are the hardest days so be very patient this may be your only chance to save your marrage. I know what you're going through, it's very hard but you have a man who's willing to try and that's something. Give it your all and do it together.
Just my opinion hope it helps :wink:
best of luck!
Suzi

Did he go to treatment yet? If so, he's already been through withdrawl forget the rest but not the tlc.
Will he join a fitness program? Will you both join one together if you aren't a member already? Is he working? Have the two of you been spending time together, going out for supper, movies.. Ect.?? Maybe your relationship needs some mending after this? Did you loose respect or any type of feelings for him after finding out her was an alcoholic?

I think he may need to keep busy and/or you might have to work on gettting your friendship back into your marriage. Be honest with him, tell him how you feel and what you need from him. In my opinion, he's got no excuse to be acting the way he is unless there are other issues causing him to be unhappy and in order to deal with them he'll have to open up to you. If there are other issues concerning you or your marrage hear him out and try to work though it. It may just be lack of communication.

Hope this helps. :wink:
suzi

Yes he was in rehab..And his already sober ....He's also working and whenever he get bored he takes a walk unfortunately by now i'm not with him because I had to travel to puerto rico to take of my grandma who is gonna have surgery soon, so after that i'd be able to come back california... We haven't spend to much time together because i've here for a month so I just call to know how is he doing and write him letter...
When I found out that he was and alcoholic I didn't loose any repecto for him I used support him all time and to help him in anyway I could I even used to walk with him whe he felt sick....I already talk to him about his "mood swings" and he says it's just matter of time (while he get use to be sober)...But I just don't know how to deal with this w/o arguing because whenever he gets all weird we end up arguing...And do love each other too much ...I'm scare that this situation can affect our ralationship =-(

He's also taking pills

What kind of pills is he taking? That could possible be the problem. I guess there's a place where you have to draw the line. You've stood by him and supported him this whole time, I hope he sees how lucky he is to have you? I'm just wondering if it's the pills that are causing him to have mood swings, pain meds and nerve/sleeping pills can be just as hard to quit as alcohol and can cause wild ups and downs from one minute to the next.
Also you can only give so much of yourself, is he taking your needs and feeling into consideration as well?
I wish you the best and I will keep an eye out for your reply.

Suzi

When I took those pills, they made me very cranky, out of sorts,gave me nightmares and kept me up most of the night, although when I first started taking them they relaxed my nerves and gave me a good night sleep. I'd say since he's been sober for this long, it's probably the pills that are making him like that. I know other people who also get a bad reaction to those pills too. He should get off of those meds by 3 months after starting. It's not good to go from one chemical to another unless you're planning to get off of them fast, he's got an addictive personality and these pills are also addictive.
Maybe it would be a good idea for the two of you to see his family doctor together. I'm not one for anti-depressants but there are some people who actually benefit from them. Another idea is to get a referral to someone who can run some tests to see if he's got a bipolar or chronic depression, or any other type of disorder that can be treated?
Hang in there!!
Suzi

Now I remember my hubby would get adivan off of his mother once and a while to help him sleep and every morning I would know exactly when he had gotten it from her. He is very sensitive to my feelings but once on those pills he's a bear. Yeah, i'd say it's the pills. Try going to another doc if you don't have a family doc and ask them for something else, perferably something that's non-addictive cause most of those nerve/sleeping pills do cause these side effects.
Good luck my friend.
Suzi

Thanks for the advice.... =-)