I,m So Depressed About My Weight

You say your overweight but you dont give details like how tall are you? What weight are you?, do you know your fat percentage?, what body type are you?, do you have kids?, do you put on weight easily?, do you excercise?, do you have friends you can talk to?, without knowing these it is difficult to garner an accurate picture of what you are like. Ideally a woman should have a bodymass index (fat%) of 20 -25% but even on two woman this can look totally different it depends on other factors like bone structures etc, do not do diets they do not work. You have to eat healthily to lose weight feel great about yourself. You mention that you have a boyfriend so you cant look that 'ugly' (sorry-i know you didnt say you were 'ugly' but reading between the lines I think you might think of yourself that way?) you seem to have more than just your weight on your mind? The base line is that you need to love and value yourself as a person before anyone else does---after all the msg that your putting out to people is that you dont think your worthy then why would they bother with you? Love yourself. Find something good to say about youself every day in the mirror! I dont care how corny it sounds.. Try saying '' (name) I love you, you are a loved person, you are worthy!!!!! Please let me have the previously mentioned details and any medical problems that you think you may have that would contribute to your weight (or emotional problems) and I will try my best to pass on my words of wisdom!!!! Hugs from a friend, dexi

Dexi thanks for getting back to me and for the advice but its hard to love myself when I cant see past my body. I,m about 5foot 7 in and nearly 18 stone. I do try exercising but I get no where as im too scared to go to a gym incase people laugh and I try doing things at home like home exercise videos but they dont help.Even simple things like housework I know can help but it doesnt and when it starts to I just put all the weight back on. Your right I do feel ugly all the time.Ive seeked medical help but my doctor just put me on tablets that did nothing. I try cutting down on food but then something happens and I pig out im always hungry I need some one there all the time telling me dont eat that and someone who kicks me up the arse to exercise . I want to go onto one of those fat camps you see that teaches you how to loose weight and be healthy do you know of anywhere like that so I can get the help I need. Love macala

I feel for you. Even though our symptoms are different, we both suffer in our own way. I have been in recovery from an eating disorder for some time now, and recovery is so worth it. You know what else - despite which eating disorder you suffer from, it is not about the food!!! You don't say where you're from (eg us, ireland, uk, australia etc). I go to a clinic in dublin (ireland), and it has helped me so much - the marino therpy centre. You can check out their website on www.Marinotherapycentre.Com. However, regardless of where you are, I would encourage you to seek help - it is possible to fight the condition. I know the prospect of speaking someone can seem scary, but just think about it. If you check out www.Something-fishy.Org, they have a treatment finder section on their website. That is how I found the clinic I currently attend :d . Hang in there!

Macala,

it really doesnt matter what you weigh, it is how you percieve it is affecting your life, when I was a kid I was painfully thin I was so ashamed of myself and shy so I got bullied a lot . I continued being stickthin all thru my teenage years (i am 5ft 3.5''), I ran away from home and my 'parents' returned to africa, I married the first guy I met and thought I was happy and I ate and ate and ate then one day I saw a 'rearend' photo of myself and realised that I was fat!!! It didnt help that my then hubby hurled abuse and constantly critisised my appearance , comparing me to all other girls. I used to always buy slimming mags and read them whilst scoffing choccy bars and sweets etc..I took laxatives any pill going if I thought it would make me feel normal and slim again..I developed bullimia and had this for 15 years before I discovered the secret to happiness...I left my husband.And started living my life for me!!! I never follow diets (i am cured of bullimia) I woke up one morning and said enough already I am so f***ing depressed and suicidal . This is the first day of the rest of my life, I am the one in charge, I am the only person who puts food into my mouth so the blame lies with me....I try to be kind to my body and feed it well and nutritious rich foods...I only use olive oil I take lots of supplements as I am now thru allergies a wheat free, fungus free vegan...I food combine ie only eat fruit on its own never eat fruit 30 mins befopre and after a meal never mix proteins with carbs and try to make most of my carbs 'skinny' carbs , I hardly ever eat sweets or crisps 'less I crave and just cant help myself then I will enjoy it and not beat myself up about it .....You have to take a day at a time , try to achieve a fresh goal each day,, do not ever starve yourself it does more harm than good . Your body will think there is a famine and hold on to your fat stores...Here is a little known tip for you if you eat foods that are lower than 20% fat (or a combination average) then that is eventually where your body will end up which is an excellent fat % . My tip is about fat content...You have probably seen lots of produce advertised as ''less than 3% fat!!!!'' load of tosh...The manufacturers are technically correct only because the 3% they refer to is fat % of the total grams wieght of produce and if you are trying to lose the weight then you really need to know what the % fat is in total calories...Here is the fat formula....Fat (in grams) x 9 (calories in one gram of fat)./. (thats a division sign by the way!!!)by the total 'energy/calories = % of fat in any given thing .

Eg look on a tin of beans. On any product there is a nutritional chart mostly they will be in reference to 100g

look for the fat in grams , times it by 9, then devide by the total calories to give you the total amount of fat in the tin of beans btw it should be about 3-6 % depending on the variety....

One last thing ..You really only do have one life on earth so who gives a stuff what people think of the way you look? I tell u that if the same people see you out swimming or power walking trying to change your weight you will gain their respect and you will have the last laugh!!!!!! Hugs dexi

A big thank you to all for your kind words of help, it really is so nice to know that I am not alone with this problem.
I have a big party coming up on the 4th of november and really need to loose weight or I dont think I will feel at all comfortable to go and stand their with all my friends and family. I wanted to ask if anyone has any tips of burning calories at home until I feel comphy to go out. I am going to try and start eating healthier and hope that this party gives me something to work towards.
The biggest problem I have is that my boyfriend who I live with is thin and he is someone who can eat anything and not put on weight he is also very active, but the thing is that he loves sweet things and with it just lying around the house there is always that temptation there in front of me. Its not that he doesnt help me its that he doesnt understand, he says he is happy with the way I look which I know he isnt. When he does help me and hides things away I shout and go in petty moods with him so he gives up helping me which I cant blame him for, but then im upset with myself for eating things like that and I just giv up on the whole healthy routine. So do you have any tips on how he can help me without me getting mad at him cos the poor guy is in a no win situation.
I will keep you updated as how I am getting on luv and hugs macala

Dear macala
your b/friend sounds like a good'un
i have a carl lewis airwalker from argos on which I do a mile every day. It is non impact and easy to use. My hubby is thin too and has an incredibly fast metabolism to boot which is not his fault but I blame him for it all the same!!!
Be careful of putting too much on your b/friends shoulders or he will get fed up with the whole thing, you must do this for you just take it one day at a time . Try to appear more confident for a start, and people will begin to think you are! Dont 'stop and start' 'diets' just keep on keepin on.... Buy yourself something nice like jewellery for your party of guests coming up. Please dont wait till your slimmer before treating yourself , you deserve it now!!! Treat yourself with respect!! Let us all know how your visit goes, we are thinking of you, dexi