Lol....I was going to post on here but I just feel I need to help everyone on here instead....

But anyway my problem :(
at work i'm fine, its all the activity and being around people. But as soon as I leave and i'm on my own I become, I dont know, maybe depressed. Not sure what depressed it supposed to feel like. I feel sad, like I want to cry.

I hate time on my own, even though I have some hobbies, I just hate it.

I think maybe its because I am not married and want to have someone to love and love me, and maybe children.
But then, I think thats not going to happen, it cant.
I forgot to mention I was gay...Lol

so maybe a boyfriend? No, I cant because people will then find out about me. I may lose peoples respect. I dont know.
I think I would lose more than gain.

But then I suppose I am also living a lie too.

I want to move into my own house next year, it scares me. I need to live my life, the way I want, even if it is secretive maybe, but I cant do that while not living on my own.

On my own I will be sad all the while maybe :(

i want to stop feeling like this, I dont know what to do though.
I just want to be happy like I am when I am active, busy and with people, like at work.