This is long so bare with me I just need some advice!!

2 weeks before my wedding my husband to be gets mad calls me a health forum and a promiscuous person throwing cd's in the yard and comes up to me and wants the gate key so he can get out I was scared to be around him so I wouldnt even unlock my car he comes up to my window wraps his arm in his work shirt and cracks my passenger window then tells his dad that he was just playing how the heck can he just be playing and he told his dad that be barely touched it yea he barely touched it and my whole windshield of the passenger side was cracked. He got mad cuz I called my dad well at thetime it was my dad's car it was in his name so yes im gonna tell him cuz its his car.

My husband wakes me up after I worked a 12 hr shift at 10 am and wants me to write the check for 210 for the windshield I was like no you did the damage you pay he was like im gonna callmy mom iwas like go ahead she got mad I was like hey your son did it not me. I asked gary I was like waht you gonna do next hit me he was like I will never hit you I would hit a wall before hitting you well the windshield to me is the start of an abusive relationship I was so hurt my mom told me I will always have a hosue to live in that I can come back home but if I did I wouldnt be able to come back she was like you tell me now and I will call off the wedding I didnt want to cuz I didnt want to make people mad my mom was like nobody is going to be mad they just want you to be happy.

My friends asked me why I married him I guess I thought he was the one cuz before all this he was sweet he bought me stuff roses jewelry but now all he cares about is his jeep I need this I need that I dont have the money and he got mad I bought an outfit for my cousin cuz she just had a baby working at hardees her bf cheats on her with her best friends gets the other girl pregnant and denies my cousin's baby so she has been the one who has paid for all these medial bills living in a run down trailor so yes im going to help her a jeep cover aint as important as some who is struggling.

I found letters from 2 different girl a girl named heather saying my (bf at the time) was a good kisser and then I found a letter written by a girl but to heather from gary saying that she was a good kisser to that he would give directions to get to corey's house so that he can see her I conronted gary and he was like oh I was jsut telling her that so she would get off my back I was gonna lead her on about the corey house thing he got mad and was like why you going threw my stuff I didnt go threw it I happend to stumble upon it when I was reading all the letters I wrote him he's never written letters to me.

When I am at work all he does is party and when I dont want to have sex with him he gets mad thats all he wants is to get drunk, laid and money.

I live at my parents cuz I cant afford an apartment or house I dont know how much a divorce will cost and I really dont think I can handle being without him I know im crazy but no matter how many times we make up I always forgive him I dont want to be hurt anymore I want to be happy.

Someone help me!!!