When I was 8 my best friend got hit by a car right infront of me, and I know I could have stopped her if I had moved more quickly.
I can't remember anything before junior high school.I know this happened though.
When I was 11 I started cutting.
A boy called me ugly when I was 12 and I stopped eating for a few years.
I was diagnosed with scoliosis not long after and forced to wear a backbrace at night and felt absolutely isolated. I miss tightening it until the plastic couldn't go anymore because I dropped so many inches during that period.
When I was 14 we adopted my younger sister who verbally abuses me and knocked me out of the attention of my parents eyes.
When I was 16 I had spinal fusion surgery.
Then I became addicted to various hardcore stimulants.
When I was 17 I had an abortion that I promised myself for years I would never have. I don't regret it though.
My boyfriend and I broke up on my 18th birthday, after a year and a half of being exclusive and known for our love.
I also saw a man's body leaning out the window of his car that had been slammed against a cement freeway wall.
Things are just getting really scary. I'm hallucinating and forget to breathe all the time. Part of me wants to be left for dead.