My wife & I have been married for nearly 8 years. We have two great kids, but getting pregnant with the 2nd was not easy for my wife. This killed our sex life since it became a regimented chore each month based on her ovulation cycle.

Since then (my son is now two) we have slowly drifted apart. Last year she got a job to help pay the mortgage on a new house & she works in the evenings, she also started going out for drinks with her brother/friends; which meant we saw very little of each other during the week.

Now she has had a brief affair. She says she still loves me, but is not in love with me (think she means as a friend). I want her to come to counselling to try again but she says she has done all her thinking. She tells me she isnt going to see this guy again but recently I can't trust a word she says. We are still living together & only last night slept in the same bed (though not intimately)

i love her very much & the thought of breaking up is killing me, not least at the thought of what this will do to our kids. She has agreed to come to counselling but i'm afraid her heart will not be in it to make any impact. I want to win her back but not at the expense of prostituting myself so I end up with no life.