What you are feeling is absolutely natural. You were young when your auntie died and you were not sure how to cope. Now you are a little older and understand a bit more and are now feeling the guilt that comes with losing a loved one. Guilt is the most common and natural feeling of losing anyone. Lets take a look at how guilt works. Ask yourself this question. Your auntie died that you loved, it was not your fault. Your feeling of guilt makes you put the blame on you. Don't carry guilt for your auntie dying, I am sure your auntie does not want you feeling any guilt at all. Do not be afraid of getting close to and opening yourself up to loving people, just because you're scared they'll die too. Rather love someone with all your heart and live the best life you can live. If as you get older you lose a friend or member of the family to death, at least you would have loved them with all your heart and did your best. It is better to have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. Humans need to feel loved and humans need to show love, that is how we are made. If you withdraw from the wrold adn are scared to love for fear, of losing anyone, then you are living the rest of your life in fear......Honey...Don't do that to yourself. Remember....Not everyone you love will die....Don't live the rest of your beautiful life in fear, go out and love. I hope this has helped you :) for your depression, go and see a dr who will help you through this difficult stage of your life.Remember guilt is a personal choice to feel....Rather replace this guilt feeling with love. Make a little scrap book of your auntie with fond memories.
