Going to school while pregnant? Yup a lot of people have.
The big question is, you say you know you'll regret it, will you be able to deal with the regret?
I think you should spend some more time thinkingabout it and discussing it with your boyfriend. I'd see if I could find some mother's who went to school while pregnant, talk to them, you have awhilebefore you have to decide.

"hey everyone!"

hi natalie

"i know that I also would regret it"

then why do somthing you will regret?

Fear!!!, do not be affriad. Motherhood is a wonderful and rewarding life, of course it wont be easy but most rewarding things arnt easy.

"i am planning on telling my parents but I don't even know how to."

how about....

Taking it a positive way, dont go there expecting them to be angry or upset. Try something along the lines of

"mam, dad, come quick we have to go down the local for a celebration all my friends and all the family are there, I have some great news to tell you all" and then tell everyone, do not be affraid and when your parents and friends see your not affraid they will be happy, not upset.

"i know they will hate me"

no, they love you. Only if you portray the pregnancy in a bad light will they get upset simply because they love you and want the best for you.

"i really wish I could keep this baby"

why cant you, no one is forcing you to have an abortion.

"though, I am not prepared for this now"

is anyone ever prepared for their first child, ask your parents if they were prepared, I am sure they will find much humor in that!

"my boyfriend is currently in the states and I am here in canada.. So we aren't exactly together"

it is immaterial, your child may bring you closer if you love each other if you have an abortion that your sure you are going to regret that is much more likely to cause resentment and hatred for your boyfriend as well as for yourself.

"i am going to be heading into my 3rd year of nursing and I don't wanna screw up my plans to finish university."

there are many agencies that can and will help you every step of the way, so time maybe a little to harder to juggle but knowing you have a child to protect, love and provide for will, I assure you will spur you on to making a solid and heartfelt attempt at achieveing your goals much more than dealing with the emotional effects of an abortion you regret.

"i've come this far and I am so very proud of myself"

so when your a nurse and your holding your child, you will feel proud so much more.

"my boyfriend and I love each other a lot and have been together for 3 years and a half now"

you see, he is in the usa, your in canada, love knows no barriers, no blockades, love endures even to the very end. If you love your boyfriend a child will not destroy that love but if you have an abortion you regret emotionally it could easily destroy the relationship as I have read in so many peoples posts that come on here.

"as for going to school and carrying a child.. I'm not sure if that's even possible.. Has anyone ever done it?"

of course people have done it, lol many people do.

"thanks a lot for listening and for your support!"

no problem, I only hope I have helpped in someway

god bless - izzy

btw - I think the advice of seksihilyabout finding some mothers that went to school with children and discussing how hard it was and if they could go back and have an abortion would they is a really good way of putting things into presepctive - good advice seksihilly.

International help line for free advice -

birthright international 1-800-550-4900 (24 hour)

Natalie -- if you honestly think you will regret it, then you probably do need to consider not having the abortion. You can ask yourself if this is the right time to have a child, if you will be a good mother to it now or whether you would resent it if you had to give up other things that were important. But just because some women regret it, doesn't mean that you will. Sometimes regret is more like "i wish things could have been different" -- but remember that if you continue with this pregnancy, there are other children that you won't ever have. Remember also that you only tend to hear about the women who regret it, not the many more who know it was the right decision -- because they don't have the need to make a big deal about it -- they just get on with their lives.


Good luck.

"or whether you would resent it if you had to give up other things that were important"

many mothers give up many things throughout life, sacrafices for the well being of the child, they dont resent the child, I have never heard anyone ever say they wish they had aborted their child, never.



"remember that if you continue with this pregnancy, there are other children that you won't ever have"

why is that?



"remember also that you only tend to hear about the women who regret it, not the many more who know it was the right decision"

your posting opinions unless you can back it up with proof that more women dont regret their abortion from a reliable unbiased sorce.



Wow, poo that was a very "you should get an abortion even if you will regret it- regret isnt that bad" kind of post. - weird!

Natalie -
as I said, if you do believe you will regret it, then you need to ask yourself if it is the right thing to do. If you do want to have the baby, then external pressures should not make you do something you don't want to do.

But if you believe it is the right thing to do at this stage of your life, and your main concern is that you might regret it because you have read that some other women do, then perhaps by reassuring yourself that relief and regaining control of your life are positive outcomes for women, you will feel better about your decision.

There are also levels of regret -- women may regret that it wasn't the right time, and wonder what that child might have turned out as, but still know that they made the right decision.

We all have to make choices in life. Every choice means that another opportunity is given up, or sometimes postponed until later. It really depends on what is important for you and what the right choice is for you now.

Poo, I am really interested to know how having a child would mean she could have no more?

Izzy, you misunderstood what I said -- nowhere did I suggest that she would not be able to have any more children. But if you make a decision to do something, it has all sorts of consequences. So by having a child now, your life takes a particular course. It means that the one you might have had next year won't happen. Most people only have one or two or maybe three children these days -- so if you have one now, that means there is one less in the future to have. It's also possible that the child would have some kind of disability, perhaps, and needs a great deal of looking after -- making you decide that you don't have the resources to have another child.

Your life takes a different course. So, instead of a few years down the line feeling that you are now ready to have a child, you are still struggling to cope with the first one, and don't have the child you would have had then.

Poo wrote:
"nowhere did I suggest that she would not be able to have any more children."

poo wrote:
"but remember that if you continue with this pregnancy, there are other children that you won't ever have."

poo wrote:
" it means that the one you might have had next year won't happen"

i cant believe your advocating killing a child in favor of a possible conception in the future, one thing is for sure, she may decide that another child maybe too much and choose not to have another child but at least she wont be killing them, the child in her womb already exists.

If I had said

"if you have an abortion you have to remember there are other children you wont ever have "

(as does happen)

you would call me worse than rotten.

No, you can not kill or destroy something or someone that does not exist.

"of course you can... She is killing her dream of college by having a child"

no she is not, she can have a child and go to college.

She is killing her future to have a child

her future will still be there if she aborts or not if she kills the childs then then she kills the childs future with her.

"you won't care about once born."

the law protects the child once born, but I would still care.

I just wanna say that if you know you are gonna regret it, please do think carefully!

Maybe discuss the matter openmindedly with your parents too? I am under the impression that you care alot about what they have to say.


And I wanna say one thing that you can think of:
alot of people regret an abortion, but never have I heard of anyone regretting that they didn't get the abortion they were considering.


But this is totally up to you and your boyfriend. I wish you the best of luck and happines.

it sounds to me like you really don't want to have an abortion. My advice then would be not to obtain one. No one wants you to regret your decision, whatever you decide. If you know that you cannot have an abortion, then don't.

My abortion was a positive experience. After just getting married (at your age as well), I found myself pregnant even though we were taking multiple precautions. At 21 I was still in college, working a job for minimum wage (that is still $5.15 an hour), had only just obtained health insurance through my husbands provider who basically provides nothing, and we were still paying off even our small, simple wedding. Plus, I have always personally believed that women have a choice as to whether to continue the pregnancy or not. My husband and I had basically decided on an abortion when we found out that the pregnancy was ectopic, could not be kept (threatened my life), and had to be ended (since my life was threatened our health insurance grudgingly paid for the procedure). Everyone was extremely nice and understanding. My doctor was great through the whole process, explained everything, and answered all of my questions plus gave me his personal phone numbers in case I had any problems or complications later on.

I did not personally feel any pain, only mild discomfort (this is different for every woman) and I had no complications after the procedure. After it was over, I was extremely relieved and grateful. Choosing the abortion was a positive decision for me and I would choose it again under similar circumstances. My husband and I are extremely devoted to starting a family only when we can afford to do so and we will not compromise our goals on the basis of other people's beliefs.

But, the difference is that we both believed that I had the absolute right to end a pregnancy and would not regret or mourn a lost/ended pregnancy (especially not one that threatened my life). If you don't believe similarly, then abortion is probably not the best option for you. Of the women that I know personally who have had an abortion, none of them actually regret the abortion and only one of them felt any guilt. Ironically, the guilt that she was feeling came about because she didn't feel actual guilt over the abortion. She felt guilty for not feeling guilty. And she got over it quite quickly.

If you know that you will feel differently, then you already know which option you should take.


they won't hate you. They love you and they will most likely support you in your decision.
canada has better social programs than in the states. Start checking around to see if you can apply for any of them. Canada is much better at seeing young women with children go to and graduate from university than the states. You shouldn't have very much trouble finding the support you need to keep the pregnancy and parent the resulting child. You may not finish when you wanted to finish (you may have to take some time off) but with the proper social support, you shouldn't have to give up your university plans entirely like many young women in the us do.
it is something to consider but it really sounds as if you don't believe in abortion. Have you considered adoption? You wouldn't have to compromise your beliefs and obtain an abortion and at the same time you could continue with your university plans. If you haven't thought about it, I encourage you to consider it.

I have one friend in my sociology courses who is currently pregnant and who only had to work out a plan with the professors should she go into labor and miss a few classes. You may not have a lot of leisure time but a lot of women do it everyday, every year. Carrying the child and going to class at the same time is a lot easier than having an infant at home and trying to go to class. Though, in canada, you should have better access to daycare services so you can continue going to classes if you should choose to continue the pregnancy and keep the resulting child.

Bottom line natalie - this is your decision and yours alone to make. A woman who is pregnant has two basic choices - to keep the pregnancy or to end it. If you don't believe in one of the choices or if you are convinced one of the choices would not work out for you, your decision is already a lot easier than others. If you should choose to keep the pregnancy, you can either keep and parent the resulting child or give it up for adoption. You have time to think about it, consider all of your options. In the end, you are the only one who has to make this decision and you're the only one who will have to live with it. The question to ask yourself is 'what can I live with?'
best of luck. If you have any other questions, pm me.
Peace,
jenn