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10 Yrs After My Abortion.can You Beleive It Still Haunts Me? (Page 1)

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I made a horriable mistake with the pressure of my boyfriend I had an abortion january of 95. A year after we married.. I suffered a misscarage and felt it was my fault for what I had done.. I slipped into a depression till I got pregnant a few months later... I had a beautiful baby girl in april of 97 then a cutiepie boy in oct 98.. I was overjoyed with my two children but never forgave my husband for what he pushed me to do.. Our marraige lasted only on paper later. I married him because I did love him but never forgave him for that and many other rotten things he did during the marriage.. I divorced him and started dating a wonderful man I have known for years..He loves my kids as if they where his own.. We are bestfriends and happily married. Now we are trying to have a child together.. But my hurt from the past of what I did still haunts me. I have nightmares and nightsweats.. Trying to conceive again has brought all my old upset up that I wish would just go away and leave me alone.. .Melissa
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replied August 25th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
The power of gods forgivness, is a wonderful thing.
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replied August 27th, 2005
Experienced User
melissa030405 wrote:
i made a horriable mistake with the pressure of my boyfriend I had an abortion january of 95. A year after we married.. I suffered a misscarage and felt it was my fault for what I had done.. I slipped into a depression till I got pregnant a few months later... I had a beautiful baby girl in april of 97 then a cutiepie boy in oct 98.. I was overjoyed with my two children but never forgave my husband for what he pushed me to do.. Our marraige lasted only on paper later. I married him because I did love him but never forgave him for that and many other rotten things he did during the marriage.. I divorced him and started dating a wonderful man I have known for years..He loves my kids as if they where his own.. We are bestfriends and happily married. Now we are trying to have a child together.. But my hurt from the past of what I did still haunts me. I have nightmares and nightsweats.. Trying to conceive again has brought all my old upset up that I wish would just go away and leave me alone.. .Melissa


have you tried talking to a psychologist? I believe therapy would help you. Ten years is a long time and if you haven't managed to get over it by yourself maybe you need outside help.

It may not matter to you, but I believe that what it has been done and cannot be changed should be accepted. You did it, it happened and it was a long time ago so you need to let go. Every single one of us has made mistakes, smaller or larger....And everyone has at least one monster in the closet...You have to realize that nothing can be done now and maybe you need to forgive your boyfriend at the time...Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting...But maybe this stands in your way of letting go.

Furthermore, I hope you won't get upset with me for saying this, but I believe you need to forgive yourself...Even though your boyfrend back then pushed you into doing this, maybe deep down inside you consider yourself guilty as well for not doing anything and letting him have his way....

You have two beautiful children and maybe another will come...Focus on them....They need a happy mummy not a depressed one....And to feel that you pain was not for nothing, try telling women in doubt what an abortion may mean to them...What the consequences may be....Share from your experience...Surely there must be an abortion support group in your city, maybe you should volunteer there and this way you will feel your pain had a purpose-to prevent others from making the same mistake, from going through what you have gone.

I sincerely apologize if I upset you in any way with what I have said....This is my opinion and I was trying to help....You need to stop feeling guilty and let go and concentrate on you live children...They need you healthy and happy to learn from you everything they need to have a wonderful life as grownups.

I repeat, if you can't get over it by yourself, please see a psychologist...It can help you so much...

Good luck!
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replied August 27th, 2005
2 Kelly R
Hey,
thanks for your advice,
i am considering it for the future if making a friend who has been through the same experiance doesnt work out..
I hope it works out because I think that would help me to feel i'm not alone in what happened to me that i'm not losing my mind.. I was fine for years just starting to pop its ugly head back up... You know. You think you are over something then, something happens in your life that unexpectantly brings all those old feelings to the surface... Make sense? Well im not sure if it does but that is what has happened.. I was ok I was able to continue with my first marriage ... I mean it isnt what ended it.. It was other things.. Today I am very much in love and wanting another baby that is what has brought this out again.. So I have to deal with it somehow and then ill be good again.. So i'm gonna try the friend thing and if it don't work out I have good insurance ill look into seeing one of those goody councelors..Lol
thanks for writing..
Melissa
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replied August 27th, 2005
Experienced User
I know what it's like to think you are over something and then something to happen and all those feelings to come back...It's not nice...It just reminds you we are human, not robots...

And the fried idea is a great one....You need to talk abut this....By the way, have you talked about this with your partner? I think it is very important for him to support and understand you, if not one of the most important...

Be strong...You will get over this again...Kisses.

Good luck!
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replied August 27th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
"actually, she needs to forgive herself"

it is only through the forgivness of god that we can forgive ourselves - of course you wouldnt understand that!

"have you tried talking to a psychologist? I believe therapy would help you."

go to the one who heals without compensation, only he can help you.
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replied August 27th, 2005
Experienced User
izzy wrote:
"actually, she needs to forgive herself"

it is only through the forgivness of god that we can forgive ourselves - of course you wouldnt understand that!


"have you tried talking to a psychologist? I believe therapy would help you."

go to the one who heals without compensation, only he can help you.


i don't know you, but you have to realize that not everybody shares your believes, whatever they are...Everyone has his/her way of finding peace and who are you to dispute that? You have no right to do that.

Furthermore, I gave my opinion may it be right or wrong hoping i'm helping someone...You have every right to believe the contrary but don't be mean...

"of course you wouldn't understand that!"

good luck anyway!
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replied August 27th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
"i don't know you, but you have to realize that not everybody shares your believes, whatever they are"

i do realize that not everyone believes they way I do, but you in turn have to realize that what I said is the truth.



"everyone has his/her way of finding peace and who are you to dispute that? You have no right to do that."

if you understood what peace is you would not say that, but since you do not know christ you do not know peace. The only way of finding peace is through the prince of everlasting peace. I do not dispute that people are searching for a way to find peace in a way that they may describe as "their own way" but since I have found peace, true peace, I have every right and every duty to share with them the truth of where true peace is.



If they reject my witness to true peace that is upto them.



I do not force them to believe in christ, I only assure them they will find true peace in christ and nowhere else.


Oh and btw, I wasnt disrespecting your opinion, your advice or your heartfelt intentions, I wasnt meaning to be mean, I appologise sincearly if it came across that way. I only wished to point out the love, mercy, forgivness and healing of christ jesus.
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replied August 27th, 2005
Experienced User
izzy wrote:
"i don't know you, but you have to realize that not everybody shares your believes, whatever they are"

i do realize that not everyone believes they way I do, but you in turn have to realize that what I said is the truth.




"everyone has his/her way of finding peace and who are you to dispute that? You have no right to do that."

if you understood what peace is you would not say that, but since you do not know christ you do not know peace. The only way of finding peace is through the prince of everlasting peace. I do not dispute that people are searching for a way to find peace in a way that they may describe as "their own way" but since I have found peace, true peace, I have every right and every duty to share with them the truth of where true peace is.




If they reject my witness to true peace that is upto them.




I do not force them to believe in christ, I only assure them they will find true peace in christ and nowhere else.



Oh and btw, I wasnt disrespecting your opinion, your advice or your heartfelt intentions, I wasnt meaning to be mean, I appologise sincearly if it came across that way. I only wished to point out the love, mercy, forgivness and healing of christ jesus.


what exactly is your religion by the way?

"i do realize that not everyone believes they way I do, but you in turn have to realize that what I said is the truth."...Why do I have to realize that what you said is the truth? Believe it or not, I know about christ. Nevertheless I have no proof he exists as neither do you. Your found your peace? I'm happy for you but that doesn't mean it isn't up to what kind of a person you are: some find peace in christ, others in jehovah, others in allah...Others in therapy and others in a bowl of icecream...

Unfortunately religion is walking on very thin ice as there are so many and many things are contradictory...Not everybody can be right, you must realize that. And guess what, every member of every religion or cult strongly beliefs he/she is right....He/she has found the higher authority whatever it may be called to them. So, unless solid facts apart from that that you know so and you feel so, you aren't proving your point.

If you are a christian, than you must have a bible...Do you know that there were 4 or 5 different version of the bible in the beginning? How do you explain that if jesus is the only way? Furthermore, hundred if not thousands of people have died by the hands of inquisition. Where was jesus then when the church was committing murder in his name?

I'm sorry I got caught into this...This is not a religious site and not the place for this discussion but I do not like people that seem so sure on theirselves with no proof at all. It is one way to state your opinion and another to tell everybody they are wrong and you are the only one right...To do that you have to prove yourself...A certain virus, for instance, has been studied for a long time before knowing how one becomes infected, how the virus triggers chemical reactions in the organism and coming up with a cure....Not even that is certain if the virus becames mutated...You on the other side have no proof of what you say other than that you have found your peace in jesus....How very nice for you....But others have found peace in allah for instance...And you can't be all right...But you will never embrace the possibility of being wrong, will you?

You were very upset with the fact that I had mentioned therapy to melissa030405....What do you think religion is? A form of well orchestrated therapy which gives you confidence by telling you there is a higher being, so high that you couldn't possibly comprehend, and that being is watching everyone, taking care of them and rewarding their doing "good things" with eternal life in paradise...It makes you feel safe isn't it? Furthermore, it gives a specific purpose in life to those who don't have one. Whether you like it or not it is therapy...Whilst medicine is a science with cold hard proof... So until judgement day i'm afraid you can't prove your point...
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replied August 28th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
"what exactly is your religion by the way?"

i am a christian, a prophet of christ sent into the world to proclaim the good news to the poor, I am commisioned by way of the seven holy sacraments.

I was reborn in christ, I recieved forgivness of my sins, I am given my daily bread for my journey and guided by the holy spirit.



I am christian, a 2000 yr old christian, I am a member of the family of god through his son jesus who created my family 2000 yrs ago.... My family has the keys to heaven and to knowledge.



"why do I have to realize that what you said is the truth?"

because it is the truth, only when you accept the truth shall your eyes be opened - "receive your sight!" jesus told him. "your faith has healed you."

"believe it or not, I know about christ. Nevertheless I have no proof he exists as neither do you."

i have the witness of my testimony, that I have seen him with my own eyes, I have witnessed the glory of god, I have my proof because I have seen, he will reveal himself to you too, if you pray, if you ask if you ernestly desire to meet him, you will!



"your found your peace? I'm happy for you"

no, I was gifted with the peace of christ, I never found it, I did not realise it existed, I wasnt looking for it, it is a gift.



"some find peace in christ, others in jehovah, others in allah...Others in therapy and others in a bowl of icecream"

mere illusions that bring comfort not peace!



"unfortunately religion is walking on very thin ice as there are so many and many things are contradictory...Not everybody can be right, you must realize that."

no human being is right in the eyes of god, only one, jesus christ who was and is the son of god. You must believe this, it is the truth, believe as I believe, your eyes will be opened and you will learn of a great renewal!



"every member of every religion or cult strongly beliefs he/she is right"

i do not believe I am right, I believe only one is right, jesus christ. Jesus is light but only the heart can see it.



"he/she has found the higher authority whatever it may be called to them"

many religions have much truth regarding god but only one has the fullness of truth and only one claims to know the fullness of truth, there is no other religion who proclaimes to know the full truth.



"unless solid facts apart from that that you know so and you feel so"

oh this corrupt genreation, always seeking signs, have you not heard "blessed is he who has not seen and yet believes"

you want a miricle, you want christ to reveal himslef to you... Ernestly pray for his revelation.



"if you are a christian, than you must have a bible...Do you know that there were 4 or 5 different version of the bible in the beginning? How do you explain that if jesus is the only way?"

yes I have a few bibles, their has only ever been one bible, there was confusion and a number of different people advocated different writings to be added durring the canon some wanted the inclusion of the gospel of thomas, others the gospel of peter, but once the canon of scripture was with all authority of christ finalised, it was never again disputed until the 1500's, however there is still only one bible, even though some now have what we may call a less than adequate bible the fully authorised version prevails.



There are 33,000 christian denominations, how do you explain that, if christ is the only way?



Because 33,000 christian denominations are wrong, they are false prophets, that were prophesised by christ jesus when he said

"i know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock."

"beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are raviging wolves"

there is only one christian church only one who has the authority of christ bestowed upon them 2000 yrs ago, only one church that can trace its history back to christ himslef, there is only one way jesus christ and only one set of keys and only church that have those keys.



"to do that you have to prove yourself"

you do not ask me to proove myself because I do not proclaim myslef, you ask christ, have you not heard it said "do not put the lord your god to the test" but if you seek you shall find.



"you on the other side have no proof of what you say other than that you have found your peace in jesus."

like I say I did not find it, it was a gidt, I wasnt looking for it. And it is not my peace but christs

is that not proof enough?



Do you want the lame to walk and the sick cured, do you want christ to show you a miricle?



It is better that you learn of gods mercy that gods power!



Never the less, gods word says -

"i will display wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below"

so please feel free to browse the british medical journal for students and other medical sites you like regarding places like "lourds" "fatima" "our lady of knock" and many other places of apperitions

"the most recent miracle acclaimed was that of jean-pierre bely, a frenchman with a 15 year history of multiple sclerosis. At the age of 51 he was cured in october 1987 and authenticated as a miracle in february 1999."

"a form of well orchestrated therapy which gives you confidence by telling you there is a higher being, so high that you couldn't possibly comprehend, and that being is watching everyone, taking care of them and rewarding their doing "good things" with eternal life in paradise...It makes you feel safe isn't it? "

if you do not believe in christs word, will you believe in his miracles?



Blessed are those who believe and have not seen!
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replied August 28th, 2005
Experienced User
I am impressed with you persistence...Nevertheless you twisted my words to your convenience and therefore did not succeed in convincing me you are right.

I realize there are a some miracles which have happened but the explanations may vary...The very nature of god is questionable...

However, this is hardly the place for this discussion. This thread is for melissa and not for god debate. Therefore i'd like to apologize to her for this. If created a religion forum and given the time we may talk some more over this though I see no point in doing.

All I want to ask you is to express your opinions for what they are:opinions...Please stop saying you are the only one right. People need advice, you have as much a right as others do to offer it but don't stuff it on their throat...Let them decide which advice is good for them. Thank you.
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replied August 28th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
"i am impressed with you persistence...Nevertheless you twisted my words to your convenience and therefore did not succeed in convincing me you are right."

i am not right, there is only one who is right!


But how did I twist your words, if you mean I tried to correct your understanding, then yes that is true!


"i realize there are a some miracles which have happened but the explanations may vary."

it seems a little strange though, that some children "claim" to have seen the virgin mary then suddenly many miracles start happening where they say they saw her, coincidence - you decide?


Take fatima for example, the day of the great miracle, it had been raining all day, the children had told everyone that a great miracle would happen that day because they were told by blessed virgin mary.


Sure enough while the children were praying the sun fell from the sky crashing towards the earth and then going back to its natural position in the sky, the rain had stopped and the wet ground was instantly dried, that miracle was witnessed by 70,000 people. Where are the scientifically confirmed miracles of other religions?


I have faith in jesus christ and I have seen him with my own eyes, I tell you in whole truth, he is alive, he is the son of god.



"but the explanations may vary"

there is no explanations dear kelly that is why they are called miracles!


"however, this is hardly the place for this discussion. This thread is for melissa and not for god debate. Therefore i'd like to apologize to her for this. If created a religion forum and given the time we may talk some more over this though I see no point in doing."

i too didnt mean this to turn into a discusion but I am not to refuse the good news to anyone who questions it, we can take it to private messaging if you like!


"all I want to ask you is to express your opinions for what they are:opinions"

they are not opinions but truth, christ is real, is alive and waiting to heal anyone who is willing to have faith and ask him. Just because you do not have faith and you think they are opinions dosnt make them anyless the truth so why should I deny they are the truth because you dont believe the good news?


"please stop saying you are the only one right."

when have I said that? I say christ is the only one right!


"people need advice, you have as much a right as others do to offer it but don't stuff it on their throat"

i am not, stuffing it down anyones throat, I offered my advice to melissa you decided to question the good news, who am I to refuse to give the good news to you and when I respond to your questioning you accuse me of "stuffing it down ttheir throat" no, I wont let you paint me out to be someone who forces the word, if you dont want to know, dont question it and I wont respond to your questioning!


"let them decide which advice is good for them. Thank you."

there is no other option but to do that, I can not hold a knife to them or use mind control, I am sitting behind a screen, I have no option but to let them decide for themselves and I would have it no other way, but it is imperitive they know the good news before rejecting it out of hand, wouldnt you agree?


"the original bible is the torah... Read it. It proves jesus is a fake"

yes the torah the first five books of the bible, genisis, exodus, deuteronomy, leviticus and numbers. Given by god and recieved on mount sini by a fellow called moses. I have listened to the word of god and my understanding although still insufficant is directed by divinely appointed hands, exodus is about the isrealites being in egyptian captivity and a chosen one coming and setting them free, they spent forty years in the wilderness after being led out of egypt. Christ the chosen one came to set us free from the captivity of sin and after his death and resurection, those acts which set us free it was forty days before his assention into heaven and the out pouring of the holy spirit, leaving the people he freed in a spiritual wildreness for 40 days. The whole of the old testiment is about jesus christ, I can show you what I know if you want. But may I suggest private messages so I dont upset kelly.
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replied August 28th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
If you had any idea what you were talking about you would find that the old testiment is actually a number of books what the jews believe to be holy scripture or bible.

The pentateuch or torah is made up of

genisis, exodus, leviticus, numbers and deutoronimy

then you have the books of jewish history

joshua, judges, ruth, samual, kings, chronicals, ezra, nehemiah, tobit, judith, esther, 1st & 2nd maccabees

then you have the books of wisdom -

job, psalms, proverbs, ecclesiastes, song of songs, wisdom, sirach,

then you have the prophets

isaiah, jeremiha, lamentations, baruch, ezekiel, daniel, hosea, joel, amos, obadiah, jonah, micah, nahum, habbakuk, zephaniah, haggai, zechariah and malachi

lets take the prophet isaiah, the book was wrote and acceted as scripture by the jews 800 yrs before the messiah he prophisised about, 800yrs before jesus christ. There were no christians before christ to write the book that was included and still is included in the cannon of the jewish bible. Now please stop making a fool of yourself
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replied August 28th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Yanno...With all the smiting and baby-killing that goes on in the bible , I don't think it really works as an authority to be cited against abortion...
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replied August 28th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
"to jews, there is no "old testament." the books that christians call the new testament are not part of jewish scripture."

your being pedantic, the fact they do not accpet the messiah means they do not accpet the new testiment, meaning that they although they do accept the old testiment books as divinely inspired they do not call it the old testimant, because they do not accpet the new and if there is no new how can it be called the old.... Now please stop digging your hole deeper because originally you said

"if you knew anything, nazi, you would know that the ot is a christian book"

the old testiment is a christian name for the holy books wrote before the messiah, it is not 1 book but many books and the books are accepted as divinely inspired by both the jews and the christians.... So stop trying to squirm out by being pedantic.. Admit you were wrong or just shut up, you prove yourself to be nothing more than a lier and a ignorant little girl not to mention the king of fools.
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replied August 28th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
"and the ppl that wrote the torah can prove your fairy tale is fake"

really, then go and get god.

God wrote the torah, oh you mean the peopel who coppied it.... Ah

go and get moses will you, your such a bafooon!

"christian is resorting to name calling."

pot kettle black., lol how many times have called me a nazi or women hater and I simply turned the other cheak, now I simply point out that your behaving like a fool and a spoilt little girl that has to be right when your clearly wrong and I am calling you names.

And I am not a high and mighty christian, if you knew anything of christianity you will see we are servents or as you like to call us, slaves... How can we be high and mighty.

Now please, lets be serious and stop the comedy eh because you have given me such a laugh with your mrs know it all approach to something you clearly know nothing about.
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replied August 29th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
Question it?

Ha, how do you think I understand, I have questioned it but with faith, not with disbelief. Your understanding of christianity, is wrong, twisted, inverted, you have failed to find the true message, the real good news.
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replied August 29th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
So what is your unnderstanding?
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replied August 29th, 2005
Its Amazing....
My oh my its so amazing how this conversation has transformed into something totally different than it originally was!! I never wanted to start a dispute on religion... Just wanted to share my experiance with others hoping to meet someone that has been through a simular happening.. Not start a religion war..


Peace guys peace...
Melissa
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replied August 31st, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
I dont mean this in a derogotory sense, just trying to highlight the double standard of your post

did you ask yours if he wanted to live or die before you aborted him?
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