I think I may have schizophrenia becuase I feel like I'm always being followed and watched, I also feel like there are sometimes a million people/vioces around me when I'm alone, I see flashing lights and blurred shapes when there are none, I also have severe O.C.D
I don't know if I have or not though becuase I am young and schizophrenia doesn't normally show untill early twenties but I'm in mid-late teens...
I can't talk to people like doctors or therapists I have tried but I can't.
what can I do?
my friends... it is a spiritual battle. the world would have you believe that its all has to do with only physical malfunctions with physical matter in the brain. is not it obvious by the patients experiences that it is spiritual as well as physical, emotional, and mental? the world and the "intellectual elite" does not want any talk of "God" or "Jesus" because that is truly where much of hate is directed to...doesnt this seem obvious? Christianity is attacked and all other religions are catered to. anyways im getting off on a tangent.. my point is that wholeness can replace hopeless. yes wholeness can and will replace hopeless. when spiritually whole..all good health and wholeness follows my friend. and you shall be healed.
My English is not good (hard to convert my feeling to words). But please I must have answers
I am now 24. In some how I felt that I was different. But it never was a big problem in my day today life because I thought I have fulfilled my needs. And I thought it was some personality issue. Because of the social issues which I am facing now in my day to day life, (in past few (7) years) I began to think.
Recently I am incapable of clear thinking, interpret of thoughts to words, social gatherings with no previous experiences - specially females, always I can't hold to a one thought its coming and going (its day dreaming that cannot control - I know I am dreaming when it happening, I understand that I am not living in the practical world), hard to concentrate specially when I am being tense (in common 8/24 in a day I am in tense situation). Not only but also I like loneliness, always start having some fights with friends (I feel they are on to me), I cannot control my thoughts in my day to day life.
I am fed up with my life I cannot understand how the world works
So I thought backward of my life I think have some mental disorder (which no one could notice). My aunt had some kind of a serious mental disorder in her life.
This is the stages of my life,
Year 12 13
In the early stages of my life I felt that I am different of my colleagues. I think different, I see some social issues in different manner that my parents and friends do not. In school-primary I spent some isolated life, lack of sports, few friends and lack of confidence.
Year 13 16
Had friends, lack of social life and focused on education the most. I was not in the practical world
Year 16 18
My education is focused on mathematics. And it it is easy to do mathematics calculations (solving issues) because I think of my habit of day dreaming. I felt socially sustained and felt some self confident. But I think I failed in the practical world.
Year 19 - now
I attend to the university; my social life style has been changed. Day dreaming incidents happening always and I cant control it. I am not living in this practical world