My wife and I have been married for eight months, and my mother in law has been trouble from the beginning. In fact, several of my wife's family just like to gossip about everyone and not get down to the truth. I'm strange in that I actuall will confront someone, to their face, and get to the bottom of a situation. Not the in-laws! They will phone everyone and gossip without talking to the person in question.
Here is the current problem. My wife's sister and her husband (x and y) were over for a barbecue, as well as my wife's brother and his wife (a and b). Later on, I overhear my wife complaining to her sister (x) that b spends too much time talking to me, staring in my eyes (apparently) and flirting. Naturally, this was all unknown to me. I'm a sociable guy, but wouldn't dream of flirting with anyone, let alone an in-law.
When I asked my wife about this, she said that it started three months ago when her mom (who just plain dislikes b, for no real reason) brought it up. Apparently,ever since, my wife has been really jealous whenever b talks to me and doesnt want a and b over. [sorry this is a bit soap-like! But that's my in-laws...] now b's name is unmentionable, I have to avoid her like crazy so I don't 'lead her on' or 'enjoy the attention'.. It's just ridiculous.
There's no way b likes me more than anyone else. My wife is blowing this out of proportion and all because of her mother's gossiping.
I really want to confront my mother in law ( I already talked to x and she's totally on my side) and tell her to quit gossiping about the family because of the destructive potential (my wife and I had a rough arguement about this one). But I don't want to stir things up.
Should I phone up mother in law and let her have it, or let sleeping dogs lie? [pun intended]or just wait until the next time I see her?
This is driving me nuts. I think my blood pressure is high even as I type! :s
I would call her up and ask her why she would say such things that are not true. Dont let her get away with this, its not fair to you or your wife. Good luck. Just try to be nice and calm when you talk to her. And make sure your wife knows you are going to talk to her about it.
Sounds like you and you wife need to spend more time and effort building up trust between the two of you. It may be your mother-in-law doing the damage today but tomorrow it could well be someone else telling your wife untrue things about you and other women. So long as your wife is unfamiliar with how you respond to other women and doubts you can withstand the onslaught of predatory female behaviour (yes, female predators are out there!), you'd always have trouble on your hands.
Since you're still in your honeymoon year, it'd be good to spend time discussing and setting guidelines on how each of you are to behave and interact with members of the opposite sex. Yeah, I know rules can be a drag but hey, a good baseball game is one where people know the rules and play by the rules, so what more a good marriage.
Personally I would tell her straight to stop interferring and then I think you should put your wife straight at the same time and remind her where her loyalties should lie. She married you, not her mother and she should stop listening to her mother's harpy tongue. Some women are just viscious and you have to meet them head on, otherwise the Chinese whispers get worse and can wreck your marriage. Some people enjoy causing trauma, you just have to lance them like a boil, she'll know not to mess with you in the future and ask her why she is so obsessed with your faithfullness? Could it be that her own husband is a philanderer and any excuse to have a go a good looking girl-in-law satiates her need for revenge?
The current situation i am in would be my wife sticking with her mother. We live with the in laws.. Don't do it!! That family gossips and rips everyone's live and relationship apart that's how it is and dreadfully always be. God help me
Stand up be the head of your household or it will fold like a deck of cards. Tell your wife you want the foolishness to stop and you want it to stop like yesterday. Tell her that she should know you better than what her mother, (of all people)would say about you flirting with anyone, especially, your inlaws. Tell her there will be no more family gathering where you be pertisipating if her relatives...especially her mom is going to continue cause frictions. Your wife will get upset and perhaps not talk to you for a few days and even go back and tell her mother the converstation but you must be firm and stick to your guns or this marriage will be over before it started. You tell your wife if it comes down to it, if she wants to pit you againist her mother, she can go move back in with her...you have to take the bull by the horn here and don't let up until your wife see that you aren't having it.
P. S. I know this was posted in o5 but I'm just now seeing it. Maybe you will too.