Take your time in making your decision. You have, in essence, two choices - to remain pregnant or not. If you choose to remain pregnant, you have two choices - to keep and parent the resulting child or to give the resulting child up for adoption.

If you can, try to talk to people around you who have dealt with an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy. Ask those who now have children what the decision was like, how it has affected their lives and bodies, and what it means to them today. I parent my niece and it is the hardest, most nerve wracking, exhausting, excruciating thing i've ever done. But it is fulfilling at moments. People who don't expect being a parent is one big long hallmark card moment come to appreciate that and find it fulfilling. Was it fulfilling when she was two, cutting teeth, sick, puking everywhere, screaming in pain? No. Was it fulfilling a week later when she got better, her mouth didn't hurt as much, she sang at the breakfast table, painted with finger paints in the afternoon in one of my husbands shirts, and hugged and kissed us at bedtime? Yes.

Ask those who have given a child(ren) up for adoption what the decision was like, how it has affected their lives and bodies, and what it means to them today. Adoptions can be set up through the county or through a private agency. Do your homework if this is the choice for you and don't let the county or private agencies push you around. At birth, you can still decide .Not to give the resulting child up if you want to and you are .Not financially liable to the county or the private agency if that should happen. Don't let them tell you otherwise. Make sure that you speak with an attorney. There are many, many lawyers who will take your case pro bono to ensure your legal rights in an adoption (you won't have to pay them back or the prospective adoptive parents will pay them). You .Can meet with prospective adoptive parents beforehand. Adoptions are mainly either closed, open, or open with stipulations. A closed adoption means that you have no further contact with the resulting child or the adoptive parents. Technically, after the birth, the child literally becomes the child of the adoptive parents. Open adoptions mean that you can, if you choose, have further contact with the resulting child and the adoptive parents. Open adoptions with stipulations mean that you can have limited contact with the resulting child at the adoptive parents discretion.

If you decide, for whatever reason, that you do not wish to remain pregnant (or physically cannot remain pregnant) and if ending the pregnancy coincides with your personal beliefs, than abortion may be an option for you. A good ob/gyn will explain all of your options to you. If your ob/gyn tries to "persuade" you one way or another, .Get .Another ob/gyn. An ob/gyn with an agenda, one way or the other, is not interested in your personal health, well-being, or welfare. Only listen to an ob/gyn pushing one way or the other if you have health problems that warrant the consideration of the other options.

Depending on your state (all of which have different requirements), you should discuss the decision to abort with an ob/gyn (one who is not laboring under a specific agenda) or a counselor. They will give you all of the information about the procedure and then ask you to go home and think it over until your appointment. There are basically two ways to abort, surgically and medically. The ob/gyn referring you or performing the abortion can help you decide which method you prefer the most. If you have any doubts what so ever, .Do .Not .Go .To .Your. Appointed .Time. No one wants you to regret this decision and if you have any doubts, .Please take some time to work through them and rethink the decision. Most women who choose to obtain an abortion do not regret the decision in the end (see www.Apa.Org for more details on who obtains abortions, why, and how they feel about it).

.The .Absolute .Bottom .Line is that this is .Your .Decision and .Yours .A.L.O.N.E to make. Don't allow yourself to be pressured one way or the other by anyone.

peace,
jenn

ps. If you have any questions about any of the choices or need anymore details about the options above, don't hesitate to pm me (i check about once a week).