Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum - Ive Had Enough, But Cant Break Away

Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum > Ive Had Enough, But Cant Break Away

Q: Ive Had Enough, But Cant Break Away

asked by: Sweets on August 20th, 2005

New User

This guy I know, we didnt actually go out, he was going between me and some other chick, lying and cheating us both, keeps telling me he wants me around and cant let me go. Hes with this other chick now but still wants to see me etc. Thing is he only see me on weekdays when the gf isnt around, completely ignores me on weekends then acts like everything is good on monday morning.

Ive been saying for months I want this to be done with, but he just cries and tells me he doesnt want me to leave him. I cant take his games anymore. I was actually in love with him and he said the same to me, talking about our wedding day and I even became pregnant to him, told him the day he left overseas with the other chick - he didnt care I was pregnant.

Recently things have been tough, I still talk to him and see him and friday night his wallet was left in my car. He asked me to find it and take it to him, I picked it up to see his gfs face in a photo staring at me. I lost it. I cant take it anymore and he said he would talk to me today to make things ok again. Its now 7pm and I havent heard from him. He always does this and its really messing up my head. I cant get out of this...Ive tried but get sucked back in.

Help me, I dont know how but I need advice. He promises me things, makes me feel like I can trust him but then breaks my heart all over again. He likes to see me upset I think, and goes out of his way to hurt me. Perfect example, he said he would take the day off on my bday to spend with me as I was going to be all alone, he picked a huge fight with me instead then took the next day off work when he said hed talk to me and spent it with the other chick, when I saw him he threw me around and physically abused me.

Replies(19)

fatfamily02

replied on August 20th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

No, that will not do. You are worth more than that--get strong and walk away. No one is worth us not being true, or good to ourself. If the relationship continues to make us abuse ourself for staying it is co-dependancy and that is just a rollar coaster ride to nowhere.

Sweets

replied on August 20th, 2005

New User

This guy has been so bad for me, I cannot trust anyone, I dont even trust my parents, and im at the point where I htink I will be alone forever.

The thing that is bugging me right now is the way he acts as though im important to him and he cares. He knew I needed to talk to him, he knows how depressed I am and how important it is to me but he jsut doesnt care about his actions.

Agghhhhhhhhhhh :(

Sweets

replied on August 21st, 2005

New User

Need Help Urgently

This guy it seems will stop at nothing until hes finished me off. Hes found me on another forum, registered and it attacking everything im saying. Hes belittling me and embarrassing me. I wont be free from him even if I were dead

sxcgirl_me

replied on August 21st, 2005

Experienced User

This guy sounds like scum!!!

If I were you i'd change numbers, dont go back on the other forum, and if you live on your own maybe stay with parents or a friend for awhile.

It might be so hard to let go but good things will come out of it and just keep that in the back of your mind.
Imagine in the future having a loving boyfriend who is devoted to you and would never hurt you.

dangell

replied on August 21st, 2005

New User

Need Help Urgently

Be strong and resolve to walk away. Talk with a women's shelter for support. Change everything you do, po box, phone number, locks
on your doors, and put a restraining order on him. If he continues to bother you then call the police. No one deserves this kind of treatment and it is abusive to your children to watch it.

Sweets

replied on August 21st, 2005

New User

[quote="sxcgirl_me"

imagine in the future having a loving boyfriend who is devoted to you and would never hurt you.[/quote]

problem is hes beaten so much of my trust in others and my self esteem out of me, I honestly dont believe I will find someone. :( hes destroying me and any future happiness I migght have. I cry myself to sleep cos im so lonely now as it is, and I dont see that changing because of what hes done to me.

sxcgirl_me

replied on August 21st, 2005

Experienced User

Thats why you need to get away from him, so you can learn to trust people again. Trust me it will do you the world of good in the long run

Sweets

replied on August 23rd, 2005

New User

the health questions Strikes Again

I know I should be getting out of this, to be honest its hard. Hes my only friend and im so lonely...The last 3 people ive been really close to have passed away :(

anyway, he said he would come and talk to me cos I was upset and lonely. He was going to come by my place tonight, I said not to say he would if he wasnt going to but he promised he would and said he meant it. I was actually looking forward to talking to someone and he knew that. He called to say he 'forgot he had stuff to do' and the hung up on me.

He seems to get some pleasure out of making me 'happy' then devestating me. Is that actually a thing?? He gets his jollys out of upsetting and really hurting me??

sillypoint

replied on August 28th, 2005

New User

You say it's hard to get away from this, you say he's your only friend. This guy is the reason you are crying yourself to sleep, he is the reason you feel alone and lonely, as you yourself said, he is destroying you. I've got to question what kind of friend that makes him. This guy is not the solution to your loneliness, he is the cause. The sooner you realise he is making u miserable and that noone is worth that, the sooner u can move on and find a genuine guy who will treat you a million times better. You say you have no self esteem and maybe you are scared u wont find any1 else, but the way I see it, u dont have him, you arent losing anything if u walk away, except future tears when he breaks your heart again.

It's hard to say this so i'm sure it's hard to read.. But he blatantly doesnt love or even care about you anywhere near as much as u deserve. Shut off all contact, make it so you can't get in touch with him even if you wanted to. I'm sure that's hard and you want to keep a line of contact there, but there is no future here. If he loved you, you would know about it, and the only way you can properly move on is to completely shut him out. If you do insist on keeping contact, be careful not to be taken in by what he says, talk is cheap, every1 can lie, it's what people actually do which shows their true feelings.

Sweets

replied on August 28th, 2005

New User

sillypoint wrote:

shut off all contact, make it so you can't get in touch with him even if you wanted to.

the only way I will be able to do that is to off myself...And ive come so very close

Glamorgirli

replied on August 28th, 2005

Experienced User

You really need to cut all connections with him out. He obviously dosn't love you, and is not that into you if he's seeing another chick, and hurting you!! Why do you want to be with someone that belittles you to the point where you want to kill yourself. He's not worth it. He should be the one slitting his wrists! He sounds like the type of guy that might stalk you if you break off all connections with him. I say get a restraining order, have like a protection thing put on your house so like the cops drive by every so often just in case he trys anything. Find a womans shelter by you and talk to some of the women hear their stories. Than get yourself some counseling to get your selfworth up. One day you will find someone great that will love you. If you do break it off with him don't go jumping into another relationship right away. Work on yourself and learn to love yourself again, and than you will find someone that will treat you with respect like a princess. Please get this guy out of your life before it gets worse.

It will be tough; just remember we all have your support on here and we can try to help you through!

babycat03

replied on September 13th, 2005

New User

We Are Here

You need to talk to someone, a professional they will help you get your feelings out. I am really worried about you hun, especially what you wrote , you can find the strength in yourself to walk away. I did and I am truly happy now for 13 years. You can do it, just dont look back, find new friends and go out and meet people. You dont need him and his games. We are all here for you.

Lisa

Sweets

replied on September 14th, 2005

New User

Its so easy to say 'ignore him' or 'let him go' but when hes my only friend in the world (i know he doesnt sound like a friend) its not easy to walk away at all. My best friend of 8 years was killed in a car accident when I was 18, I then met this other guy and we became really close and good friends, he met some girl who didnt like me being so close to him and then didnt want me in his life so he got rid of me and told people I had died, then a girl I worked with and became best friends with went overseas and had a stroke from a blood clot and passed away. This guy is now my only friend and im terrified something would happen to him, I feel like im cursed. I dont want to let him go because I dont have any other friends. I dont talk to the girls from high school anymore, I dont socialise with uni people out of lectures and I dont go anywhere to meet new people (im extremely shy and couldnt go out on my own).

Sorry for the long rant, I cant let him go, I should but I just cant. Im scared i'll be alone completely forever.

Sweets

replied on September 15th, 2005

New User

Urgent Help

He has finally assaulted me again. I have been to the police and made a complaint, but he said if I did he would tell them I trashed his car, which he has now done. I didnt touch his car. He has cahrmed his way out of my complaints before, I even had a cop tell me that this guy was 'perfectly nice'. Ive applied for an avo but I dont know if he'll even be charged or if it'll go through.

What can I do? Ive lost my best friend like this, im soooooo beyond depressed its never been this bad and am going to be questioned for something I didnt do. His gf is siding with him, and both of them are liars. I really need help. This has ruined my life. He has ruined my life.

Sweets

replied on September 16th, 2005

New User

I need to talk to someone, urgently, I cant handle this. If anyone is online..Please send me a msg.

Assena

replied on September 16th, 2005

Experienced User

I have been in a very similar situation as you, you are not alone all be it feel so much like you are the only person in the whole planet and your soul feels like this abyss.....

If you truly are wanting to file any type of legal action against this guy you have to stop all contact with him. If you do you will be violating what you set in motion and will give him more ammo to weasle out of the charges.

I never thought I would have friends again, trust again.... It took me 4 years to rediscover my self... The friends and my husband came after that.... There is hope, you just are having a hard time seeing thru the dark.

Sweets

replied on September 16th, 2005

New User

I dont want any further action cos that would mean id have to see him if it went to court. I just dont want to see him. I just want it go stop, and go away.

Assena

replied on September 16th, 2005

Experienced User

The only it is going to stop is if you make it stop. He is not going to stop.. My ex-boyfriend never stopped until I left him. It was the hardest thing I ever did. To be honest with you to this day (and it has been 6 years) I will still think about him.

shanti1

replied on September 22nd, 2005

Experienced User

There Is Great Support Here!

I hope your situation is getting better.
I really liked what sillypoint, galmorgirl, assena had to say,
it makes me feel better that there are intelligent, kind people out there.
For,i ended a very unhealthy relationship, I am still healing, I am still scared,
i don't know when I can trust again, right now, I say I will never date again and for now, that is fine.

You, are the most important person, as you are going to take care of yourself! Of course coming here and perhaps a women's shelter support meetings can help.

I have been thinking about going to a support meeting, I never thought in my life that I would be there, but here I am....
I would watch oprah or lifetime movies, and think those "poor" women
and I would have never thought in a zillin years I would feel the show was about me,
i think it is true when they say, that in re: to abuse, that it does not get better...

Take care of yourself.

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