Hi im 15 years old im turnin 16 im a few days, a few months ago I found out I was pregnant wen I told my boyfriend he left me and ran off with my best friend, I wasnt sure what I wanted to do about it all but wen itold my mum she made me have an abortion I was about 2/3 months pregnant n I really wasnt sure what I wanted to do and im still not sure if I wanted to keep it or not after I had the abortion my whole personality changed I used to be loud and outgoin but now I am having to put on a front to all of my friends as they see me as the hard girl (if you know wat I mean) I also cut my self just so I could watch it bleed, this is not a new thing I used to self harm a few years back I must have been about 12 and I started doing it because I was rapped by 8 boys and I couldnt go to the police my mum doesnt know about the rapes an I dont think icould ever tell her,also when I was 14 the boy I was with used to hit me and I became sucidal and tried overdosing yet I havent been able to talk to anyone about all of this I just keep it all inside I get drunk to try and forget it all people call me names cos I got pregnant n sit in my room alone and just cry all night, I got excluded from skool for tryin to stab a girl that called me stuff,i really think I am twisted and think that the only way to end all of my pain is to kill myself. Sorri its so depressing and sorri if yo cant read it.
Please can some talk to me and try and help me :!:
Wow you have definately have lived some kinda life. Im not gonna lie to you and tellyou I know what it feels like to go through anything you have but I will tell you that your hurting yourself gravely and you shouldnt feel like you need to end your own life. Ive been through some tough stuff too and felt alot of what you have felt but in the back of your mind and at the bottim of your heart you know that you are worth more then caving into those demons. The truth is you might only have you and the world has so much awesome twists and turns that you shouldnt wanna exclude yourself out of any of that. You deserve just as much happiness and bliss as the next person. Find that within yourself and hold onto it.
Hi vicky, I guess I am just alittle confused....??....I read your other post and you had said you had an abortion? Did yo have your baby or did you have an abortion? How are you doing? I realize it has been a few months but I like to check on people.....
I went through almost same thing, I was raped and my mom never believed me which was the difference, I know things are hard but I made it through you just need to rebuild your self esteem which can take awhile. I went into kickboxing and was already playing soccer, I lost alot of weight(cause I was eating my emotions and gained alot weight) I built a self esteem and was able to carry my head high and it felt good. I also have slashed my arms to the point I got admitted to hospital because I was suicidal and really there is no point when you realize how much potential you have.
I wish I could help you go through this you really need to talk to someone and get into something you enjoy doing sports, martial arts, crafts etc, I also sing and play guitar and I found that by writing songs or just singing it helps and makes me feel brighter. Somedays will be really tough but keep your head high, I was also in an abusive realtionship that ended in me getting pregnant and I had an abortion because the father had raped me and violated me in a way I cant explain its like a shower never cleansed me of the dirt and I felt so dirty. After all the stuff I went through I stopped dating men and started looking towards woman but I wasnt game enough for it, ironically when I least expected it I met someone who helped me get off drugs and turned my life around and he is now my bestfriend and husband.
I'm 21 and to be honest, i'm proud that I survived the bs the world put me through and I still go through it till this day but I know how to deal with it alot better.
take care and lotz of hugs
Well sweetpea I also had an abortion at 15 so I can say I do know what it feels like to have a parent make that decision for you. Really at that age everything is confusing, I can't say it was for the best because I don't know you, however reading your post says to me that you have so many issues that you have to deal with in your life right now, and honey i'm telling you, having a baby to look after as well as all the other stuff you've got going on would be a disaster. Do you really think bringing a baby into your life right now is what you really need??? My advise it to go and see a preofessional about your problems (that's if you want the help) sooner or later you will have to let someone into your life to help you, talking is healing. I too done many silly things after my abortion and finally got help and sorted myself out. I'm still with the same fella I was when I was 15 and we have 3 beautiful kids and expecting our 4th in 6 weeks. Don't give up and talk talk and talk. If you want to talk to me just let me know and i'll give my e-mail address to you.