Sex After a Hip Replacement (Page 2)

Hello everyone.
I looked up sex after a hip replacement because I have the same issue as well. When i was eighteen i had a full hip replacement because I got hit by a drunk driver. I'm now nineteen years old. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and are sexually active. I've noticed that after we have intercourse, I usually cannot walk for the rest of the night. It's been about a year since my surgery, and the pain after intercourse, is still pretty intense. I guess i'm wondering if I can ever have a healthy sexual relationship ever again? I'm only nineteen years old and of course, i'd like to have a normal sex life, however, i'm not sure as to what I can and cannot do when it comes to sex. I've found one position that doesn't hurt as bad, but only having one position I can do, puts a huge strain on our sexual relationship. He is very understanding, but I feel that I am not able to make him completely happy.. Does anyone have advice for me? I know I should discuss it with my surgeon, but I'm a little embarrased, talking about it over the internet; doesn't seem as bad. If anyone could offer advice, or something that would help - i'd appreciate it, immensely.
Thanks.

Buzz magazine i hope your stll doing great.I am 30 years ,male n thinking about the back n forth movements with new hip n the speed while having sex u being on top how did the new hip do with speed n back n forth what kind of surgery MIS 3inch or 10 inch like mine i had thr 12-08 thanks

Hello Everyone,
I'm 30 yrs ols and schedueled for a hip replacemnet surgery on July 16th of this year! reading all the posts above made me tear up...
I need to know whether all the restrictions (no crossing of legs, no bendong of leg, all the sexual restrictions) are just for the time right after surgery or will it go on lile this for ever? I honestly can't imagine not having a restriction-free sex life w/ my husband! the thought of that puts a knot in my stomach...

We were having sex less than 5 weeks after his hip replacement surgery...Started out by having it at the end of the bed...Put my legs on his shoulders...He had his left hip done...Each time his hip improved...Now we do all movements we used to...Never really think about it...Heck, we don't hang from the ceiling, but do just about anything that we want....If anything, his range is far greater than it was with the pain he had before surgery....

Caroline

I am a 47-year old premenoposal woman, former competitive athlete, who had a right THR 10 days ago. My fiancee and I have managed satisfying sex 3 times since I returned home from the hospital 9 days ago.

I think age, the sensitivity of your partner, and frequency of sex pre-surgery make a big difference. I am in good shape, have been with my lover 3+ years, and pre-surgery we regularly had sex 3-4 times per week. Also, my fiance attended my appointments with the surgeon and physical therapists, thereby familiarizing him with my immediate post op limitations -- a huge help, since they aren't exactly intuitive or easy to explain when you're on pain meds.

Together we've found sex within "hip precaution constraints" to be more than manageable. We've engaged in more foreplay than we did pre-op and simply let our desire take us (slowly and carefully) to new different positions that don't hurt me.

We need more resources for THR recipients under 50 and younger, especially for women with young children! Most of the literature seems to apply to those who are at or nearing retirement age and don't apply to the rest of us who will inevitably face multiple revisions and different emotional issues.

I hope my words give some comfort. Good luck to all.

Hi. Im a 23 yr old female and im waiting for a right THR. I came on here giggling at the thought of what new doors would soon be open to me, obviously thinking about sex and flexible legs etc etc. But then i read on & on until i was trying not to cry. The hopes and dreams i've held ever since i knew i needed a THR are all shattered. I thought i would be healed and free to live a normal life. But from what i read theres really no more freedom between my hip n a fake one.

I have no recollection of life with a healthy hip. Think it was wrecked when i was around 2 but hard to say as no one in my family seems to know for sure what happened.

My whole life i've wanted to cross my legs, i want to sit on the beach on the grass on a pathway. I really REALLY wanted to have normal sex!! even just to be able to wrap my legs around a man when he picks me up. I have been waiting for so long and now i find out that my hip will be......... EXACTLY the SAME except METAL!?!?!?!?!! Whats the FreakinG point!!!!

On the bright side....all ya'll who are sad that you'll never get ur old 'normal sex' back, AT LEAST U HAD IT ONCE!!.......Now welcome to the freaky side!!

Hi, from the start, start flexing your mussels this will help improve the stiffnes and flexibilaty. Watch out if it gets cold and relax in all positions, let the man work and try not to go over 90 deg. Me and my wife wich had both her hips done at the age of 2 and is now 25 are still struguling but it takes time and practise. We perfected some styles and are trying more evry day.
Good luck.

Are you kidding m? I know this was posted a few years ago, but I still wanted to respond. I am a 25 yr old woman who just had my right hip done 6 days ago. I feel so fantastic! My recovery has been very easy so far, NO pain in the actual hip joint anymore..just at the surgical site. It's actually been pretty easy to forget what the PAIN was like...it feels normal!

It will be the best thing you can do for yourself...doing everything without pain! You'll work around the sex aspect..others on here seem to be doing fine.

You WILL be healed and free to live a normal life.

Wow. I'm glad I didn't stumble upon this site before my THR. I'm a 37 yo female 2 1/2 weeks post op and feel 100% 'cured'. I couldn't walk a step without excruciating pain prior to my surgery and was off all pain meds by day 5 post op and 100% pain free. This has given me my life back.
As for sex, me and my partner had a very active sex life prior to surgery... And we have continued our very active sex life already! Just modifying it for the hip precautions for now. No problem.
Please be confident of your surgeon and know your quality of life will be restored ten-fold!!!

Good luck!!!

I'm 46 yr. old woman, married 20 years & am so greatful for the honest talk about sex after thr. This is something that really concerns me because I adore my husband and I don't want my sex life to deteriorate & have lots of limitations. I still feel so young! I am already lamenting things that I might not be able to do, especially the 90 degree thing! I love to sit on squishy couches & scrunch my legs up to my chest, cross my legs, climb into boats, have fun sex w/ my honey, and play! I have a feeling I'm on my way to becoming old in many ways except being able to walk longer distances. Argh! I'm really wondering if I need to wait until the bitter end of my pain threshold b/4 I do my first hip? Does anyone out there feel like they waited too long to get their first thr? I'm struggling.
Lisa - 46

Hippitehop, I'm right there with you on the freaky side, I've had Arthritis since I was 6 (I'm now 22) and developed Avascular Necrosis in both hips before I reached my sexual peak, and therefore find it so so hard to be able to enjoy sex. I've never been able to do the missionary position and have tried a few others, but I have to say I've really held back on the intimacy front simply because I am just embarrassed having to explain that I can't do missionary (and on one occasion, an ex dumped me because of this, which also explains my reluctance to engage in sexual activity. I had my left total hip replacement on 10th Dec and expecting the right to be done in March next year. As far as I am aware, all restrictions can be lifted after 3 months meaning you are then able to bend at angles and rather than following the restrictions, it is more that you are listening to your body and what it is telling you, but after hearing what the rest of you are saying I am now also beginning to give up hope ever being able to experience normality in that area! I'm due to see my physio early in the new year and so may brave the question and find out whats what. Good luck to you all.
Daladine - 22 years.

I am 44 and I too have never been able to do the missionary position. It's not exactly something you want to come out and tell people because it's depressing really. I never really had a problem when I was younger because I was able to do other positions, I was married 17 years and had sex almost everyday, but now that I am older and divorced, I am finding this a very emotional hard thing. I finally meet someone that I really like and I just know that this problem is a sure bet that I won't be seeing him again. We tried, and tried a few other positions but he was so much bigger than me he kept knocking me over, we just never seemed to get it. And now I haven't seen or heard from him in a month. Who wants to go through the embarrassment of explaining to someone that you just can't do this position. My left leg is shorter than my right, I do everything normal in life and have no restrictions really except this or being able to sit indian style, which was a huge pain as a kid and walking with a very noticible limp. I have 2 kids, I had no problems with child birth yet I just cannot for the life of me do that position. I know I should be fortunate that I am healthy in so many other ways and so many are so much worse off, but I feel like I am back in high school and god forbid no guy wants to be seen with the girl who walks funny. And as I reread this it sounds like I am just feeling sorry for myself, because I know I am a strong person and I am capable of accomplishing anything I want, I guess it's just that part that I can't figure out how to accomplish is finding the right one that likes you know matter what.

wishuponastar,

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be like everyone else and fit in. To be able to do things that others can do. But, like you stated, sometimes you just have to find that special someone who loves you, for you, just the way you are.


You state that you have two children. Were they delivered vaginally? The lithotomy position that you are placed in for delivery is actually the missionary position. Is it that you can get in the position, but you just don't do well with sexual intercourse in that position? How about missionary position in reverse? With you on top? Shoot, it really doesn't matter, as long as you can enjoy it.

And like you said, it usually just takes finding a partner that can adjust to the situation. Helping each other to achieve orgasm, hopefully at the same time, but at least with each other.

If you are having a lot of difficulty, you may want to speak with your gynecologist about the situation. You are not alone, as many women have similar problems. Hang in there.

Good luck.

My wife has recently had her sixth hip replacement. We have a fulfilling and satisfing sex life including intercourse. In fact after our 4th we went to the hip class that the hospital had and had a lot of fun with a running commentary of what worked well and what did not. OK that should disabuse the "scary" part.

First thing follow your precautions and check with your doctor for the timing. Not all hip replacements are the same. Some require more time than others.

The basic position is with the woman on her back. The man positions at 90 degrees. With the torso on the side with the good leg. The operated leg will be positioned between the males legs. This should avoid violating the 90 degrees. The good leg is draped over the mans hip. You will adjust it based on personal preferences.

Yes, There is a booklet by Media Partners that is recommended by the Arthritis Foundation called Sex After Total Joint Replacement. You can buy an ebook online.

I had a hip replacement in 2000 at the age of 33, 5 years after a car accident that broke both my legs and shattered my hip... I was just looking online about running after a thr and I ran across this site...and I just want to say I'm 43 now and my sex life is great...it took me a little while to get back in the swing of things but nothing stops me...my husband and I do everything including doggie style, me on top and I've had my knees up to my chest which from what I read is a no no...I know my limitations but I don't limit myself. I've also gone 4 wheeling and horseback riding. The way I see it is life is meant to be lived...artificial parts or not...I'm not saying that everyone should go out and do the things I've done but trust in yourself and listen to your body. Life doesn't quit after a thr, sometimes its a new beginning

I am 31 years old I had a total titanium hip replacement sept 3 2009 I heard it was supposed to make sex better. But I am told about the 90 degree angle limitation Three surgeons done my hip replacement one said I can do 90 degree another is telling me not to. I had my last follow up appt last week. I wanted to ask about sex but my mom was back there with me. I hated asking her to leave. Then I felt to embarassed to ask him. Mainly because he had a student assistant like in there. I am not married number 1 I am talking to this guy again. We had sex before my hip replacement and it was amazing Considering I had two screws holding my old hip together. with my old hip I was able to do the riding position missionary doggy style now I am hearing doggy style is a no no no I am thankful for my new titanium hip I don't hurt at all no more walking or standing doesn't bother me I love to shop now. I have some fears about falling bellydancing which the doc said I can do. I hate to call back up there and ask to speak with him and ask the sex question but I want to know.I wish I would have asked mom to step out and the student doctor so I could ask. I am so embarassed you know. This guy is wanting to come see me I have been putting him off cause I don't want to discuss it with him yet I am afraid he won't understand. I am afraid if I do one sexual position it will dislocate or pop out. IM ean what would my parents think lol Most of all do you know how embarassing that would be to explailn everything. But I want my sex life back that was one of the reasons for having this surgery . It's just a really embarassing subject to discuss I always get told that every question I ask my doc he's going to think I am crazy. I want to call instead of making another appointment to ask that you know Cause he did my follow up I don't have to go back for five years. I am afraid he will think I am a tramp or something you know what I mean . It's depressed me all day. and everyone's answer is if it hurts don't do it. My goodness I get small aches you can barely feel but you mean if I get a teeny tiny small ache doing anything I shouldn't do it that's crazy.I mean they say you can have sex but that's all they say. That's not enough

I am 67 years old. Not too old to want to have sex! My THR on my right hip was completed on 9/20/10. I have no hip precautions. My surgery was using something called a "minimally invasive approach". No muscles, tendons or ligaments were cut. I am in PT already and doing mini-squats. The staples are not out yet.

From reading this forum (thank you so much for this forum) I think we will wait 3 months before we attempt the standard missionary position (our favorite). I plan to ask the surgeon straight out when I see him next week for staple removal about acceptable sex positions. Thus far the only limitation I have been given is no jogging.

About this new approach for the surgery -- we found a video of my surgeon doing a THR on line and watched it several times before selecting him to do my replacement. It is on a web site called "or live". If you would like to see it the link is: ww.orlive.com/or-live-participant/nakasone
The surgery is narrated by the operating physician as well as a remote link with an orthopedist in Colorado.

One of the main attractions for us was there are no hip precautions. My hospital stay was about 29 hours. I cannot at this point tell you any long term results. I will update this post as we move forward. Right now I shower - with my staples in place and no plastic covering, use standard height toilets, put on my own shoes and compression stockings (for 6 weeks - ugh!), sleep on my side - even the side with the THR. I asked the surgeon what it would feel like after surgery. He said people tell him it is like someone has hit you in the thigh with a baseball bat. That description is perfect. Ice, massage and pain meds work like a dream.

june
67 yrs young
married 42 years

An update - Today the staples were removed. Asked lots of questions and learned a little more about the new hip. Luckily our appointment was with a female PA. I asked straight out about sexual positions. She stated if it feels good it is OK. No hip precautions. That seems to be a standard answer to most of my questions - no hip precautions. The only limitations are about weight bearing or jarring activities. Full healing should take about 4 months.
Hip info:
Brand - Zimmer
Composition - Stem, titanium; ball, ceramic; socket, titanium with polyethelyene lining. The stem was not cemented into place.
We still plan to wait the 3 months before we try sex. I don't want my husband to freak out about the possibility of "hurting" me.

june

I am 18 and I had left hip replacemnt in may 2011 and my sex life is still pretty normal I dnt hav much pain when I bend my knees or wrap my legs around his waist and I still do on top there is some occasional pain but not due to intercourse I enjoy a fully intimate and normal sex life with my boyfriend/fiancee

I'm 20 I have a fused hip my dr is going to replace my hip in a couple months. Bc my hip has been fused 8 yrs I do t know any different in bed. I can't ask my dr about sexual positions 1 bc he's uptight and 2 my family goes with me to see him....

I'm curius if after my hip replacement if I'll never be able to do missionary or cowgirl


I'm kinda stressed over it I know it seems stupid but I've never really been able to enjoy sex bc my hip has been fused for so long...

Please help Me I'm kinda freaked

MalorieP,

You are going to have to ask your surgeon, mainly because, he is the only one that actually knows what structures you have and how they are working. This is not like a regular "vanilla" total hip replacement.

After a fusion, you may be lacking certain structures that a needed to control stability of the joint. Some of your muscles are going to have atrophied to almost nothing, because they have just not been used in the last eight years. And, only your surgeon is going to know this.


At the age of 20, you should be able to see the surgeon by yourself, if you do not want to discuss this very important aspect of post-op activities in front of your family. If you are married, your partner should actually be part of the discussion. It is very important for your partner to know what type of stresses NOT to apply to your hip.


This is a very common question asked of total joint surgeons. Your surgeon probably is not as "uptight" as you think he is. Address to problem just like you would ask any other question about your post-op limitations.

If you do not want to ask the surgeon yourself (which you really should do), you might ask his nurse about it first in private and ask if she (or he) can help broach the topic.

AAHKS (American Association of Hip and Knee Surgeons) has quite a bit of information on sex after total hip replacement. If you Google "AAHKS, sex after total hip replacement" and go to the AAHKS link. Scroll down to the bottom of that link and there is a whole bunch of links to information on sex after THR. Some even have illustrations.


However, again, you are not going to have a regular total hip done. You really, really need to discuss this with your surgeon. If you can't talk to your surgeon, write him a letter and give it to his nurse. That is one way to break the tension.

Good luck on your upcoming surgery.

Thank you everyone for this wonderful thread! I'm about to have my first hip replacement at 42 after two failed surgeries last year and a year on crutches. I'm so scared!! And this whole sex issue was worrying me since I am recently divorced but newly dating and didn't know if I could be "normal" again afterwards. Thank you for the reassurances

Uh? Well as I see it there will be some changes in your sex life. I'm sure you will be able to make it work though. You should consult your orthopedic surgeons on the specifics though.

I'm 18 and had my right hip replaced at 15. I talked to my doctor and he said that I should just feel it out. If I feel like my replacement might be compromised by a position, I should stop and later work on stretches to make me mobile enough to try again.

Hi, I am 36 years old and about to have my first consultation at UC Davis to start my journey of a hip replacement.
I am scared to death and would love to chat and connect with people who have gone through the same thing or are about to.