Can you just call your doctor back and ask him? This would save your time of trying to find an answer through books and the internet.

Thank you for your reply. I suppose I could call my doctor and ask him but he didn't seem to take it to seriously the first time. Besides the fact is that my doctor is over two hours away and to get him on the phone you have to first run your question past two other people to see if they can answer it. I really was hoping for something with a understanding of the fears that my husband and I are faceing right now. My physical therapists tells me that it is completley normal for him to be afraid of hurting me, but she had no suggestions. I think that with the number of hip replacements growing all the time this is an issue that should be adressed somewhere. I must have fifty booklets on hip replacements and the healing process but not one talks about intamacy.

Lillie,

i found a little info for your question:


when may I resume sexual activity?

Sexual activity may resume at four to six weeks post-op, but please ask your physician for the handout titled “sex after total joint replacement.”


safe return to sexual activity after hip replacement

posted on: 2/01/2005
most surgeons agree that sexual activity can be resumed safely after total hip replacement (thr). The patient usually must wait one to three months after the operation. Certain positions are safe to use. But according to this study, doctors rarely talk about sexual activity with their patients.

Doctors who are members of the american association of hip and knee surgeons took a survey on the topic. They were asked how often patients ask questions about sex after thr. They were also asked how often they bring the topic up.

Data on hip dislocation during sexual activity was collected. The surgeons also looked at sketches of 12 common positions used during sexual activity. They were asked to tell which positions are okay and which ones should be avoided after thr.

Eighty percent of the surgeons surveyed don't talk about sex with their patients. Those who do a lot of hip replacements are more likely to bring it up. Any discussion of sex takes up less than five minutes of the office visit. Twenty percent of the doctors reported at least one case of hip dislocation during sexual activity.

The authors conclude that waiting to return to sexual activity after thr is advised. Wound and muscle healing improves comfort. It also decreases the chances of a hip dislocation. Most hip dislocations happen in the first three months after the surgery.


References:
diane l. Dahm, md, et al. Surgeons rarely discuss sexual activity with patients after tha. In clinical orthopaedics and related research. November 2004. Vol. 428. Pp. 237-240.

Lilllie,

my wife had both of her hips replaced 2 years ago. We are in our mid forties and were both interested in resuming our sexual relationship. Unfortunately, we ran into the same problem as you. My wife's doctor told her that she could resume sex but offered little advice. We went on the internet and luckily found a hospital site that had some graphic drawings of positions that could be used after hip replacement. (i will try to locate the link and post it here.)

basically, the missionary postion is easiest for the woman. However, you must follow hip precautions. This means that you can not bend your legs back towards your chest and you cannot wrap your legs around your partner. Either move will greatly increase your chances of dislocation. My wife generally bends her knees and keeps her feet flat on the bed. Truthfully, this is not the easiest way for the man to do it because it restricts his entry and does not allow for a deep penetration. With time we worked it out. (in the begining I think my wife was very nervous and probably in some pain so it made it more difficult.)

female on top is a no no because of hip flexion. So is doggy style. Go slow and you will find a comfortable routine for you and your partner. My wife also found that using a small pillow between her knees made things more comfortable when we wanted to hug and kiss facing each other on our sides.

Hope that helps!

Dear rich 48,
thank you so much for the personal view points. I can not tell you how many statistics I have heard. After reading the problems that you and your wife had I couldn't help but think I can't wait to show this to my husband. It was the exact same concearns and conditions that we have faced. Our sex life has started to get better but I don't believe it will ever be what it once was.
I see in your letter that your wife is alot further advanced in postop time then I am. I had my surgery june 30 of this year. I am still in terrible ,constant and sleep interrupting pain. I was wondering is your wife feeling all better and if so how long before she started feeling good.

Hope to hear from you soon.


Lillie

Hi lillle,

i've had trouble posting here, this is my fifth and final attempt! My wife had her right hip replaced a bit over 30 months ago. Her left hip was replaced was replaced 22 months ago. I would say the pain was bad the first three months. It gradually diminished by the end of a year. Even now, if she bends the "wrong way" she will complain of pain for a day or two. She says it is muscular, not hip pain. Fear not, however! Last month my wife and I hiked to the top of a 7,000 foot mountain! No hip pain, but we were both out of breath....



I would think that three months post op you should be fairly mobile. You should be walking, climbing stairs, etc. Without much difficulty. If you are having problems, make a list and go over it with your surgeon during your next visit. If you are in a lot of pain, see the surgeon now! Maybe something is wrong. Don't let him blow you off.



Sleep. Well that is an interesting topic. If your experience is similar to ours, you won't get much in the beginning. My wife had to sleep on her back for the first five weeks after both hips and it drove her crazy. After her right hip, she slept in bed with me and neither of us slept much. After five weeks, the surgeon allowed her to sleep on her side with a small knee pillow between her knees. (which she still uses to this day.) after the second hip she slept in a reclining chair in the living room. I would give her a pillow and wrap a blanket around her and pray she would sleep a few hours. It was a long five weeks for her. She still doesn't sleep well, but now she attributes that to perimenopause. What can I say?



Sex, well I guess I got off the posted topic. It is a shame that we so equate sex with intercourse. Will your sex life be the same as it was? Probably not. Can you still enjoy sex with your husband? Absolutely! Be creative! Try mutual masturbation and / or oral sex. The point is, you have fallen out of your groove. I assume that you and your husband have been together for a while. When you first take a new lover, it takes a while until you establish a routine. Well, have fun establishing a new routine! The key is communication. Don't be afraid to tell your husband that it hurts to have intercourse right now. Do tell him that you still want to be intimate and then go have some fun! This will allay his fears and pump up his male ego. When my wife and I first attempted sex, it was difficult. She was uncomfortable spreading her legs wide enough for my hips. (and I am a thin guy!) I was concerned I was going to cause her pain and for the first time in my life I experienced erectile difficulties. It was a little rough in the beginning and the surgeon didn't offer any guidance. We developed some new routines and little by little we worked things out. To be totally honest, intercourse is not as good as it used to be. I miss my wife being able to bend her legs or wrap them around me. I am not able to penetrate her as deeply. Do I still enjoy it? You bet! And I am grateful that she was willing to try, despite the ocassional discomfort. Since you only had one hip done, your experience will probably be some what different than ours. And probably better!



Here are some links I hope will help you. You may have to copy and paste them to you browser if they don't work here.



Http://www.Totaljoints.Info/women_thr.Htm

http://www.The-health-pages.Com/mpi/jsexbk .Html

http://members.Tripod.Com/totallyhip1/educ ate/sexthr.Htm

http://www.Jointreplacement.Com/xq/asp.Def ault/pg.Content/content_id.38/mn./newfont. 2/joint_id./joint_nm.''/local_id.0/nav.Liv ing_well/qx/default.Htm

good luck! Please let me know how things work out for you.



Regards,
rich

:shock: rich: thank you very much for your postings...They have answered several of my questions & raised many more.


I am scheduled for a bilateral thr nov '05. Have done extensive net research re: tech specifics. The question of sex I realized was never addressed so I went back to net searching. After reading your posting, I am now totally freaked!! Why? I apparently was wrongfully under the impression that my sex life would return to something more normal after 6 months. No doggy; no "on top"; limited missionary!!!! Oh, dear.....

What else is not allowed on the thr sex diet???


Can you post (re-post?) the link for the hospital site with the "positions"?

As you can tell, I am having a hard time being positive about this (a young 55 years & unmarried).


Regards, lesley

Lleslyl,

first let me wish you a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.

Please note that I am not a doctor. Any advice that I post here is srtictly based on my experience living with someone who has had both hips replaced.

Please note that having your hips replaced is not a death sentence; sexually or otherwise. I know several people that have had knees and or hips replaced and all have experienced a wonderful improvement in their quality of life. Lets face it, the reason you are having your hip replaced is because you are in pain and probably have a limited range of motion. You will be in pain after your surgery. Exactly how long, I can't say. My wife is a trooper (she had our only child vaginally, without anesthesia) and she can tolerate a lot of pain. I know she was suffering before the surgery because she was desperate to have it done. My wife hates going to doctors (she is a nurse); she would have climbed the empire state building before going to have her hip replaced. So the pain was bad, even with pain killers.

After her surgery, my wife came home and rehabed herself. Our bedroom and bathroom are on the second floor and she would use her crutches and get herself up there despite the post op pain. Before your surgery you should get yourself a hip chair (you will be sitting in it quite a bit) an adapter for your toilet with side rails and adjustable crutches. I picked up these items at a local surgical supply. We rented the hip chair by the month. You will not need it permenantly. One other good item to pick up is a gripper. The sell them at linens and things and probably at surgical supplies too. You won't be able to bend over so it will help you pick up the morning paper or items you might drop on the floor. Dressing will be a challenge in the begining until you get the hang of it. Another good item to buy at the surgical supply is called a sock aid. It will help you get socks or pantie hose on your foot and part way up your leg.

One other item to consider is bathing. Of course you can't take a bath. Showering is kind of off limits too -- for at least two weeks until they take out the staples in your surgical site. My wife couldn't wait until she got home from the hospital to get cleaned up. She desperately wanted to shower, so I rigged up something. Not too pretty, but it worked. (duct tape and some 4 mil plastic to seal all around the dressing. While it kept the dressing dry, it was nasty to remove. Eventually we hit upon a roll of wrapping plastic, you know, the kind they use to wrap around boxes in stores. I would wrap it over her hip and around her leg and it worked, but it is a bit tricky around the hip area to make sure it is sealed against the skin. This is not something you can do yourself. Don't even try it unless you have help.

I know you didn't ask me any of this, but I think you should know so you can be prepared.

So, back to the sex question. You can still have sex after your hip is replaced! You just have to try some different positions! Please try the links in my 10-01-05 posting above. They do work. If they don't work here, please copy and paste them into your web browser. One of the links is a site which offers an illustrated manual for $3 which will provided you with information on various sexual positions. If your doctor will give you the time of day, have him look at it for his advice.

Pretty much anything you can do before hip surgery, you can do afterwards. (ok, no running, no doubles tennis, that's about it.) you have to make some subtle changes to maintain hip precautions. For instance, being a lady, you can no longer cross your legs when sitting in public. Getting in and out of your car will require some thought. No sitting on big plump sofas. No sitting on low chair or low toilets. It takes some practice for these things to become second nature. After two years my wife has incorporated all these things quite gracefully and only once did she slip up getting into the car. She kind of freaked worrying about dislocating her hip.

My wife is not a big experimenter, so missionary position has been the way to go. Some of the information I found while reasearching all of this shows woman on top to be ok. I suppose my wife could manage it as she has taken that position to massage my back. We just never tried having intercourse that way because she didn't care for that position long before her surgeries. What it comes down to is this. You will be able to have very satisfying sex with your partner. It will require patience on his part. It will be different than you existing routine. You can't cross your legs and you can't bend your leg past 90 degrees relative to you body. (so no pulling your knees up to your chest!) you will find some comfortable positions that work for you.! Be creative and have fun experimenting. (like when we were all younger!) and please remember, your experience could well be different than ours.

Good luck and I hope all goes well for you!

Rich

:) rich: you're great for taking the time to write back in detail length & address my concerns. I do feel more hopeful on the sex issue & appreciate the aside personalized situations. Books do not at all convey the day to day issues that make up this total experience.

Again, my thanks...Lesley

I too have had double hip replacements. The first was may of 2003, right. The left was replaced just last october 2004. Right after the right hip surgery my husband and I divorced not due to the surgery although it certainly did not help. Sexual events, however were very scary and did not succeed.

There is a new interest in my life and am wondering how a full and happy sex life could be achieved safely and comfortably. My hips were replaced not because of athritis but fractures. Would this be a factor?

:?: merri: would you care to elaborate on the "very scary" aspect? As I am not in a actual pain--more like major ache & substantial limp in left hip & very, very minor deterioration in right and scheduled for nov '05 for both in an effort not to have to go though this again--i am seriously considering postponing the event for a couple more years.

The ongoing concern of dislocation & a real crimp on one's sex life (not that positioning is totally perfect currently) makes me wonder if I am really ready for the required tradeoffs. I am a very active person--offshore sailing, japanese gardening, & again not married at this time.


Is it that you think find your self thinking about dislocation during sex or that it is too painful still after all this time? Appreciate for feedback...
Lesley

My husband just had his hip replacement on 9-22-05.He has been in a hospital bed for a number of years due to his arthritis.We have had only one way to make love.Me on top.I read the other post.Where one kind of blames the limitations on the correct positions for the fail of their marriage.There must have been problems before hand.The allowed positions are great fun.There are good positions that are allowed.I can't wait :d :lol: .It's been only one way for about 7 years.Maybe just enjoy each other no matter what kind of accomadations you have to make.If there is love between the both of you then it should be very enjoyable. :lol:

Hi I am 26 years old and I am going to have to get a thr. I'm really scared. Will I walk with a limp, will I be able to have babies? I thought that my sex life would go back to the way it was, but I guess not. I can't tolerate the pain anymore, but i'm really scared. I'm also looking for a good surgeon. Any suggestion on how I should do so.

Thanks

Hi all,

i’m sorry to hear how little info is available to those who are having their hips replaced, and as a result, so many of you are fearful or nervous about its effects on your life afterward. I am an occupational therapist who works on a reconstructive orthopaedics ward and I want to help if I can. For those who already know all this, please bear with me.

Here are the three things you cannot do:
1. No bending of thigh relative to trunk past 90 degrees.
2. No crossing the legs.
3. No twisting of the torso.

Yes, there are movement precautions or restrictions after your thr, and here’s why. Your hip joint is the most secure joint in your entire body. Seeing as it supports all your body weight, makes sense, right? It’s a ball and socket joint. The thigh bone (head of the femur, the ball) inserts into a cup-like space (acetabulum, socket) on your pelvis. The security of the joint comes from the number of ligaments (connecting bone to bone) that cover that head from the outside of the cup, under the muscles and under the skin.

Now, when your surgeon operates, he has to cut one of those ligaments in the back towards the side, to get at the head. When he has replaced the joint, he then sews back up the ligament he has cut. Ligaments, unlike muscle, cannot be exercised and strengthened. They are pretty inelastic. And that spot that he has sewn up is a weak spot. If you insist on moving the ways listed above, that spot will stretch, and the ligament does not bounce back after it stretches. You must let it heal, if you want the security of your hip joint to return. But here’s the good news… the 90-90-90 rule. We say that these rules need to be followed religiously for the 90 days after your surgery to regain 90% of the strength in the ligament for 90% of our patients. They are not forever. During those three months, you will need to avoid sitting on any surface that comes lower than your knees. If you take good care of that joint, and don’t go running or skipping rope or playing contact sports on it, it should last you at least 15 years. People commonly say within the week after surgery that they should have had the joint replaced years ago. The improvement to your quality of life will be very dramatic. Trust me.

Here’s a list of equipment that you must have:
a raised toilet seat
a raised bathboard (for bathtubs with curtains), or a tub transfer bench (for bathtubs with glass doors) or a shower chair (getting in and out to bathe is the single most dangerous thing you will be doing after surgery)
a long handled reacher/grabber, 26 inches
a sock aid
a long-handled shoe horn, 24 inches
crutches/walker

recommended equipment:
a firm, 4-inch foam cushion (for raising the height of any seat lower than your knees)
elastic shoelaces / slip-on shoes
furniture raisers
grab bars in the bathroom (wall-mounted or tub clamp-on)
a sponge on a stick

finally… sex… good positions for the man who has a thr include: the spoon position with his partner (remember the pillow between the knees for him), or on the bottom with his partner above him or, lying on his side with his partner on her back, with her knees/legs draped over his hips or doggy style, provided that his torso stays more than 90 degrees from his thighs (so not too bent over).

Good positions for a woman with a thr include:
being spooned (remember the pillow), or the missionary, or doggy style, with the upper body propped on a firm cushion/ bunch of pillows to keep her torso up.

I am long-winded, but even this is not a definitive reply. I just figured I should answer the most pressing questions.

Hope it helps!

Thank you all those who offered practical advice, you have given more help in the short time it took to read your contributions than the doctors in the 12 weeks since my op. All the booklets they hand out say you can resume sexual intercourse but the how is not addressed.

I am a 56 year old female who has been married to the same man for 33 years and had my right hip replaced. After all these years, we are willing to try anything together but were both worried about causing damage to my new hip.

I am pleased to hear from the physio that doggy fashion is ok, and from another contributor that woman on top is manageable. I may wait a while for that, though.

Hello everyone, I’m a 26 years old female and I'm not sure if you (syro1997) have had your total hip replaced yet, I saw your message on the ehealth forum. Like you, I’m concerned about the hip replacement and how my sex life is going to be after the THR. I'm schedule for surgery in June, 2006. I have had 2 osteotomies on both hips, one when I was 9 and the other one when I was 14 years old on both hips. I don't know anyone my age that have had THR and that's why I’m trying to get in contact with you so you can tell me your story. Like everyone else, I’m thinking really positive that everything is going to be ok and that my daily activities and sex life will get better.

I will really like to hear from you and how are you doing with the THR if you have had the surgery and if you have tried sex yet?

Based on what I’ve researched is better to try sex after 3 months so that the ligaments heal and the muscles get their strength back.

I was born with congenital hip dysplasia on both hips. I visited 4 doctors to get different opinions and now I’m going to have my THR at Georgetown University Hospital in DC. I will probably need to get my right hip replaced sometime, but not now. This surgery is for my left hip only. I have pain sometimes because of the arthritis and I am also limping a lot because the femoral ball has moved up and it is practically out of the socket. I do not have a perfect socket and that's why the ball is kind of dislocated. I’ve been walking with a cane for 2 years now and I haven’t being able to enjoy my 20s too much. On top of that I also suffer from Roussy Levy Syndrome, which basically if I don't exercise I lose the strength in my extremities really fast, but I can gain it fast too. I' a little weak right now, and is kind of painful to exercise my left leg because of my hip.

The doctor said that after the THR I will definitely have a leg shorter that the other one just for millimeters, and because I’m not that tall (5'1'') he said I am going to feel the difference. When I get my right hip done he will try to even them out.

The doctors have told me that I can have kids and that the weight that I gain from the pregnancy will not affect the THR. I guess I just have to exercise a lot to keep the muscles strong to prevent dislocation.

I have a boyfriend, and we have had tough moments in my relationship because of my hips. We have been together for 6 years now, but my hips have really worsened since I meet him. I'm hoping that the THR will give me a lot of range of motion so that I could open my legs more, but I know is going to take time. I guess I just have to be patient.

I also discussed with my doctor the option of getting ceramic on ceramic prosthesis and he said that that material will be perfect for me because they last longer, but it just depends on how good they will fit since I’m petite (115 lb, 5'1'').

Where I live the winter gets really cold sometimes and I’m hoping that the cold weather won’t affect my hips (discomfort, ache, pain).

Any feedback is appreciated.
Thank you

Hi christi
i was glad I read your article on ehealth (i have never done anything like this before) I am 26 also and am booked in for a right total hip resurfacing!
I was born with congenital dislocated hips and had perthes disease! I had little or no pain until I was 21 and then had to have a femoral osteotomy and trochanteric advancement - I thought I was fixed after that - even though it was teh most painful experience of my life! But alas I have had further surgery since then! I am never one who likes to complain about my pain! And its hard to talk about it with alot of people - as its hard to comprehend someone young having major probs with their legs! I feel for you - and although I wouldnt wish this kind of thing upon anyone - its nice to know that there are other people out their experiencung the same kinds of issues, pain and frustrations.

I am hoping that my resurfacing will change my life and make everything easier and better - now I am begining to question that ! The thought of not being able to have sex is driving me crazy! I suppose its always been an issue as my hips and knees have always restricted me somewhat - but I thought after surger - well 3 months - that it would be all better

id like to know what your thoughts are - from one 26 year old to another!!

I had my hip replaced two months ago, I had sex with my wife a 10 days after the surgery, (her on top), however a week after that, we had sex again and I am back on top, no problems, well i'm only 26 so that may help. Just remember your hip procautions. If it hurts then do not do it.

Good luck

I just had al long talk with my physical therapist about this. His advice was very uplifting.

I am a 37 year old single woman, ik broke my hip in an accident over half a year ago and this led to a thr 3 months ago. Till this talk a was very worried about my sexlife becoming less interesting.

He told me you can do just about anything, except for getting your legs in a higher angle then 120 degrees. So putting you leg over his shoulders fo instance is not advisable. Sitting on top is ok, as long as you don't bend over forwards to much.

Wrapping your legs around someone will not be a problem, cause turning them outside is fine. Turning them inside would be problematic, but thats not a very likely thing to do during sex. And doggy style? Fine.

He did advice me to let the guy do all the work in the beginning, so starting in the missionary position is not a bad idea, and to buy a copy of the kamasutra so I can look up good positions.

He also said not to worry about postings about a decreasing sexlife. Cause most thp are done to older people, your and my muscles will be able to handle a lot more.

So, in the words of my therapist, enjoy!