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I Dont Know If I Wanna Stop

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lonely_angel Experienced User
August 13th, 2005
Hey so I went all day yesterday with out bienge eattin or purging it was really hard and I didnt like it and at the end of the day I wanted to do it so bad but I didnt I don't know if I wanna acctually get help ya know this has been in my life for a year now and I just don't know if I really am strong enough to go through each day with out doin it though I mean my older sister left like a month ago and since then I have purged 1-2 times a day and I really don't know I always feel like I wanna tell my parents and get help but I always chicken out and am just like o well it wont kill me if I do it a lil longer but it will I know now when I purge my throat like burns a lil bit but then purging makes everything in my life seem ok like I don't have to worry or be sad about things I don't know if I want help. I need advice badly!!!

~de~
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Interia
replied August 13th, 2005
Angel, saying another day of purging won't kill you is an attitude you do not want. People die from purging, so please please try to stop. You might have a lot of problems stopping, and you're gonna wanna do it again, but giving in is the worst thing you can do.

Telling your parents is a good thing to do...They might be mad, but they will also care about you and try to help you. I'm glad to hear you're trying to quit.
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mshanson
replied August 13th, 2005
Experienced User
God, I know exactly how you feel.

I spent 10 years telling myself that I would quit tomorrow, or in the new year, or on my birthday, or whenever. I really felt like I couldn't stop ~ I didn't even care if I died because I couldn't imagine life without my binging & purging. But it got out of control ~ I became a walking skeleton & I went into treatment for a year. I wasted so much time & money on this disease!

The good new is that today I am free of bulimia, have been for over 2 1/2 years now. I wouldn't do it again now for anything. There is a way out~a long, hard road, but worth it. First of all, tell someone ~ get help. I had a doctor, a dietician, and a support group to help me.

Right now you probably can't see how this is hurting you, but it is. Don't flush your life down the toilet.
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lonely_angel
replied August 13th, 2005
Experienced User
I know it is hurting me cause ike 5-10 minutes after I purge I swear I can feel my heart about to just beat out of my chest and the back of my throat burns after I purge it's just I think I am in denial with myself. And I really dont want to admit that I am like I get to the point were I wanna go and tell my mom but I know how she will react yeah. And she procrastinates on everything and I don't have insurance right now so knowing her itll take like 2months before she would acctually get me back on insurace I don't wana tell her and then her not be able to do something about it right away though cause she would like get all paranoid like after I ate and left the room she would probably follow me and I just don't want that though.
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