God, I know exactly how you feel.
I spent 10 years telling myself that I would quit tomorrow, or in the new year, or on my birthday, or whenever. I really felt like I couldn't stop ~ I didn't even care if I died because I couldn't imagine life without my binging & purging. But it got out of control ~ I became a walking skeleton & I went into treatment for a year. I wasted so much time & money on this disease!
The good new is that today I am free of bulimia, have been for over 2 1/2 years now. I wouldn't do it again now for anything. There is a way out~a long, hard road, but worth it. First of all, tell someone ~ get help. I had a doctor, a dietician, and a support group to help me.
Right now you probably can't see how this is hurting you, but it is. Don't flush your life down the toilet.