I'm in the process of divorce/custody and I can't seem to keep my life going. A month ago I caught my wife having an affair with my father. At the time I found out I told my wife I loved her and I wanted to work things out if she was willing. She agreed to try and work this out and stay together. A week later I came home from work and she was gone and took our 3 year old daughter. It's been 3 weeks now since i've seen or heard from either my wife or daughter and I can't seem to go on. I've found out so much about my wife and fathers relationship the past 3 weeks and it keeps getting harder to handle. It's hard to describe the feelings I have. There was no types of abuse and I thought things were going great. I have a great job so she can stay home with our daughter, made sure she got everything she needed. Made sure she had some alone time to herself when she needed just to get away. I don't know where I went wrong. Everythings so hard now even getting out of bed.
That is just too much--im sorry youre going threw this. But in christian circles it is called going threw as in we will get to the other side of it. I know doesnt seem like it now, but you will make it. You have to try and not let full depression creep in, for it has devestating consequences. Try not to fall into the trap the devil has set for you.
God help this man in jesus name, show him a way out of the panic and anxiety he feels right now. Thank you god
god bless you , sir hope to hear from you again. With hopefully better news.
Im really sorry this had to happen with your father too. Has to be really hard. You will find you might have to make a decision to pull away from him, just to be true to yourself. It is a hard hard thing to go threw something like that with someone who is suppose to be trustworthy to you. I just send my prayers with you--and god keep an eye on his wife and daughter for him too. In jesus name
Do you have anyone you can get some emotional suppport from right now?? Please try and stay around pple who can lift you up right now. And let them help you if they want to, take it easy if at all possible.
I have family that live close by but unfortunately I can not receive any form of comfort from my family because this has effected everyone around me. Everywhere I turn it's there, I have to face questions from the moment I walk out of my door. I can't even get away from it at work, my boss is related to my aunt(fathers sister). So even he is effected by it and I face a bombardment of questions daily as to what's going on.
I can't help but keep running our relationship through my head trying to figure out where I screwed up. Where I went wrong, why I have failed in my marriage. I think about it so much I can not hardly sleep, i'm down to getting roughly 1-2 hours a night, living off of water and vitamins and caffeine pills just to make it through the day.
There is always a self evaluation process, we all 'should' go threw it, that is how we learn, that is how we grow. But I remind you sir, please dont beat yourself up over all this. This evaluation process will help you to do it "better" next time or if she ever returns. That is if you would ever want her back after all this.
No man or woman deserves to be cheated on, it is just too devestating, so no matter what you did or did not do, it wasnt you who made her cheat. But cheaters always have a story about how the other did this or that, usually as far from the truth as possible--for they need to validate why they would do this, and in accusing us they find that validation. My first husband bless his little heart, always had it where if I was at fault he could justify his actions releaving his ressponsibility to admit his horrendous acts against me. He treated me like crap every time he messed around, so I should have seen the signs. Although I gave him all he could ever need sexually--even when I had cancer in female organs and would bleed just to let him have his way with me. All kinds of diseases he brought home to me led to the pid and the final removal of my womanhood. Then when he got other girl pregnant he finally stepped out of the picture leaving me with 3 small babies to care for on my own--and no way to ever give my new love a chance at his own children from me.
I will tell you dear sir, god came in mightily for me and gave me a peace I have never known and that is the only way I got threw that one. I waited 10 more years to find the love of my life...
Much love to you again sir-- you will be in my prayers for a long time.
I, too, am going through a divorce. I found out my husband was cheating on me about 10 days after we split. It evidently had been going on for about a month b4 we split. Anyway, just hang in there..Take it day by day.
Try to be the best father you can be. Try to achieve one thing each day. No matter how small or big the achievment. Do not blame yourself...Your wife and your father evidently have no respect nor dignity for themselves, you, or your child. You need to move on...Be strong. Even when you think you are at your lowest, think of your child. She needs you. Let your daughter be your inspiration. You will find someone that is worthy of your love and who will not take advantage of it. For now, just focus on taking care of yourself and your daughter. Try to stay busy, take her to the park, watch cartoons with her, read to her, take a walk, whatever you can do to keep your mind somewhat off the situation. Best of luck to you and your daughter. :)
During the day is easy to keep busy and keep my mind off of things. I'm always doing things with my daughter and I try to keep her from having to hear about the whole situation. When I have her it is not discussed while she is around. However after talking to her mother, she has different views and believes our daughter should be told why mommy and daddy aren't together. She makes no sense, our daughter is 3 and dosen't understand what's going on and i'm sure it upsets her. I believe the time either of us have with our daughter should be quality time doing things she enjoys not telling her things to upset her.
Anyway, thanks for all the great help. It's going to be a long battle and I can only hope that my daughters best interests are in mind.
I agree with you.Your daughter is too young to understand. I would just try to keep her busy. I know the nights are the roughest, but you will get through this. When I feel my worst, I write. I jot down my feelings. It seems to help somewhat. It is a day to day thing. The hurt will not go away over night, but in time it will get better and, eventually, it will go away. Seems as if there are so many stages you go through with a divorce. Hurt, sad, angry, guilt, fear,etc. Just be the best person you can be. Enjoy your daughter. Three years old is such a great time in her life. Assure her you love her and that her mother loves her too. Again, best of luck to ya.
i went through the anger, denial, and shocl at the same time, then moved into sadness and now emerging into acceptance. Which is a better place to be. It is a tough road, I will tell you that from my expereince. My ex decided to move into my nieghbors home, so every time I back out of my driveway I see their house. I see the kids, including his som who lived with me. My ex relapsed (alcohol and crak) so I told him to leave.
So I was angry for him mvoing right by me.
I have now accepted that this is the wayti is right now. Go with the feelings you have, sadness, questioning etc... But make sure you are not obsessing too much on them or it will suck you in.
Your daughter can be the key in keeping you upo and motivated to get htrough this as she will need her daddy and someone who is rational.
I will say aprayer for you, and look for a higher pweor, prayer and talking to the man upstairs will and does help