I feel so sick this morning with worry. My boyfriend is seriously anxious all the time now, and I wonder whether it's because I rubbed off on him. He say's it's my fault. We live in a flat together in the south, and i'm wondering if I should move back to the north and live with my parents, as I don't think i'm being very helpful to him. He wan'ts me to get a job, and doesn't realise how hard it is for me to go out to places. I don't want to be responsible for making him feel how I have alway'#s felt, as I love him with all my heart, and I wonder if it would be best for him to move back in with his parents and me with mine, as neither of us can afford the flat on our own.

It's got to breaking point now, and there is so much stress in the air. I remember when we used to be happy, and when I was in the north, it was so much easier to avoid my panic attacks as I could get a taxi, here everything is so expensive in comparrision. I remember having more hobbies, and things were easier to do in the north and being much happier, despite the bad part, which was living with my parents. However, having moved to the south, i've become alot more anxious, and I don't go out outside on my own at all hardly.

What would anyone suggest as the best option??

Dear ambience,

i have taken lexapro before and understand what you mean about it not controlling everything. For a while, I noticed that "as needed" medication worked better for me. For example, xanax or valium. Those are benzodiazapams and they calm me immediately. I've gotten so much better lately. I'm off of xanax and take valium only as needed. I don't take an ssri anymore and find that books, cd's, tapes, whatever, works the best for me. It's a re-conditioning process. You have to re-educate yourself to become the person you once were. I worked on myself while I was on medication and then slowly tapered off the meds and am now doing pretty well. My advice is to get up the courage to go out there and look at your fear in the face. Let yourself feel the fear and anxiety and everything related. Once you've allowed yourself to feel these ways, your mind will slowly disarm and the fears will lessen. But understand, this takes time and practice. It doesn't happen instantly. It's a moment by moment thing. I wouldn't concern yourself with the relationship as much right now. Whatever happens happens. I think your focus should be yourself and your health. Work on that and most things will fall into place. Keep up the meditation and motivational cd's. That's a wonderful first step. Let me know how it goes.

Crystal

I was also on a anti-anxiety drug, as and when required, can't remember the name, but I found that this had an adverse effect and seemed to make my anxiety levels higher. I feel like being sick so badly at the moment. The thought of going out to look for a job makes me want to just give up on life. I hate working for other people doing a job I hate, and having to couple that with my fear of leaving the house, is so hard. In the north I alway's worked with animals and did moderate amounts of sales etc to earn money to survive,and found myself much more at ease with life.

At the moment I am fretting so much, I can hardly breath. My throat has tightened up and my stomach is churning. This is what happened to me at my last job. I was working in sales for eight months, and in march this year, I lost my job because I took a month of due to anxiety, and stress, under doctors orders. He said I wouldn't lose my job, but they fired me on performance, even though I wasn't at work and couldn't possibly perform on the month that I wasn't there.

I really enjoyed the job until I stopped breathing and felt like I couldn't stand another minute of it. During this time I was going to councelling, and every session I had seemed to make it worse. Don't know why.

I want to go home, but I don't think my bf will come with me. I don't think he truly understands how I feel, he think's i'm being selfish, and that I said fifty fifty when we got into this relationship, and not it's one hundred percent him paying the bills etc.

I can see why he is under stress, and it could end if we moved out of this flat, went our own way's for a month, then got somewhere together in the north. Does this sound like a realistic suggestion i'm wondering ?

In the meantime, he still wants me to get a job here, which is worrying the life out of me, I wish I could just stay home and work on my own marketing company, that would make me so happy.

Oh well, guess I just have to deal with this.

Speaking of facing the fear crystal, I find this so incredibly hard. When I am forced to go places, I try to get home as quickly as possible.. The only time I am okay is when I am out with my close friends, my bf or people I trust.

Any other time I feel totally vunerable and am so scared that I am going to feel anxious that I ultimately do.

Is there nothing I can do to stop this endless torture I wonder...Or am I just destined to spend my life living under these circumstances! :(

*sighs* thanks again for your help, it's good to get these things off my chest.

Crystal, this is the drug that I had propranolol (inderal), but it made me feel worse,

haven't tried valium,

will have to speak to the doctor about it.
How will it help my anxiety?
Thanks.

Propranolol is only a beta-blocker. It means it stops the production of adrenaline temporarily. It's mostly used for people with high blood pressure. I used that medication when I had to give public speeches. But, it is ineffective for anxiety. The only thing that works for me are from the diazapam family of medications. This includes xanax, valium, and lithium. They are tranquilizers and make you feel mellow. That may be helpful for you right now.

Crystal

I will have a word with my doctor about these, that helps alot :)

Hello there! Remember, what works for one, may not work for another, as we are all different. Keep in mind to that their are support groups and professionals to talk to but you really have to do something before it gets out of control.
Good luck to all of you and keep us updated on how you are doing.

Will do :)

Hello there ambience 24, my doctor gave me propranolol for my anxiety, I have been on them since january and I really dont think they helped,i cant understand why doctors give us these for anxiety/panick,crystal said they were for high blood presure, which I dont have im off to see my doc on friday I will have a few questions for him,i am just like you ambience I dont go out on my own only the short trip I make to work sometimes thats a reall struggle and sometimes I dont make it to work at all,when I do the weekly shop with my hubby I rush round the store in record time I should think,i did get a bit better after doing the linden method,but then 3weeks ago I had a very bad experience in hospital ! I am now back to square one but I will get better I wont let this thing beat me, all the best pip2000

hi pip,

i'm sorry to hear that you are still suffering. To be honest, I really need to do the linden method continuously as I haven't put my all into it, as it's no quick fix, it's a lifestyle change. I still find this difficult though. Yes, inderal is for that, but it's also a beta blocker, which reduces the physical symptoms of anxiety not the mental ones, and for me it's the mental ones that are most prominent. I mean how are you suppose to tackle agoraphobia, if the anxiety in your head is so bad about leaving the house. It didnt' work for me, but my bf is on valium and it is really helping him, so I may try this. Alot of people have said it helps alot. Although I know it has backlash anxiety when you come off them, but to be honest, all drugs do in my oppinion.

Pip, I solved the shopping problem, I shop online now lol. It makes me feel much better and it's cheaper than a taxi. I would rather get a cabbage that is abit squashed than have to endure the panic I feel when shopping, I literally can't breath and can 't leave my bf's side. If he goes away, I go nuts literally in my head, and my vision goes blurry and I get totally disoriantated.


I have had avoidance behaviour since I was 16 and it's been gradually getting worse over time. I can't get to the doctors or for councelling, I don't know if they would come to me, but it's so traumatic for me to do the simpalist things.


I guess baby steps are good hey :) try Agoraphobiahelp.Com it's a good site for helping you. I haven't managed to do the technique of stepping out of my door one pace, and feeling happy about it.


I always have to run, and get to wherever and back asap, I feel this impending doom about going outside. It's just not on anymore. I wish I could help this. So far, there is drugs, councelling, linden method, and I don't know what else to try.


Let me know if you ever want to chat pip.

Thanks for the reply ambience,got lots to chat to you about, will pm you asap.Pip

Hi again all, was just curious as to whether there is any help for agoraphobics. Just the thought of going out today to try and get my repeat prescription is really traumatic for me. I feel sick and like I can't breath.


Can agoraphobic's not have councellors come to the house, or prescriptions delivered in this modern society that we live in?

I really can't face going out today, but i've run out of meds, and I need to book an appointment to get my prescription today, I always leave it til the last min because I hate the thought of going out so much

please help

I feel so bad today, the thought of going outside nearly kills me. My panic is so bad...Is there anyone here who has any advice on what support doctors etc can give...It's just too much for me to cope with right now. I feel like I can't breath so badly... :( if anyone has any advice, please do let me know. This is just at the thought of going to get a repeat prescription, because i've run out, my body is totally panicking :(

Try morphine or heroin... It won't matter to you if you are stuck inside :)

Just been talking to nhs direct, they said I should get someone to pick up my prescription.And to get some of the stressors off me. Didn't say anything about morphine unfortunately :) interesting bit of advice lol.

Hello ambience,so sorry your having a bad day,i have days when I cant breath,i shake with fear and panic like hell,well I use to not so much now,what I do when this happens is take slow deep breaths,if your whatching t.V turn it off turn the radio on and find something to do like washing or the garden anything that will take your mind of panic,ring a friend,cant a freind come round? We have to remember this "thing" that keeps wanting to get to us cannot harm us we help it by letting it get to us,every morning I used to say,"im not going to let this thing control me today, it cannot harm me" say it to your self a few times it will work, as you know iv had a set back,but im getting back in to the swing of things again,because im not going to let this thing get to me,as for precriptions,im sure you can arrange delivery ring your doctor,chin up:)pip

Please ignore the advice about morphine or heroin. Morphine is designed to be a pain killer for those with severe pain. Heroin is a street narcotic. If you are unable to relieve your fear with cognitive measures, the medication I recommend are from the diazapam family. It sounds like you need something to take the edge off while you work on yourself mentally. You will have a lot of work to do. You are overwhelmed right now, so it's hard to tell you what your first step should be. Sometimes, medication has to be the first step to bring you to ground-level. Then, from there, you must do what you have to do to help yourself. Do lots of reading and try replacing your thoughts of fear with other thoughts. Replace them moment by moment. If you feel fear, let it happen, and then make a quick decision to simply replace that thought. It can be exhausting, but I think it has to be.

That was very good advice crystal gave heroin/morphine,dont even go there.Pip x

I've calmed down alot since this morning, but I still feel on edge as I have to go to the doctors today. My bf is coming with me, but I still feel anxiety about being outside. I'll try asking the doctor for something like you recommended.
Thanks again.