My spouse and I fight all the time. We are currently seeing a counselor but haven't been for a while since he works crazy hours.

I need some help with a problem and I hope someone has some input.

Last week I told him that my mother's 80th birthday was coming up and my brother and I wanted to take everyone out to dinner (there's 9 of us altogether). He said that was fine. Now today, only one day before we go to dinner he tells me that we can't afford to pay for 1/2. He said he would only pay for himself, me and our 2 kids. His argument is that things are a bit tight at the moment for us and my brother is very comfortable finacially and my husband feels my brother should pay for most of this...If not all of it.

I don't know what to do. It's embarrassing to say we can't afford it. I offered to pay for all of it out of my paycheck (i earn a very small amount and I usually use it for clothes and stuff for myself and the kids) but my husband says that's not the point. He insists that my brother shoud have offered to pay for every one just because he has more money than we do. My question to him is what does this have to do with my brother...Aren't we doing this for my mother??

Do I tell my brother that we need seperate checks? How can I say we won't pay towards my mom's dinner if it's for her birthday?? My husband said he'd stay home. How does this help? Now i'd have to explain his absence.

I feel that we could go the extra few dollars since an 80th birthday comes only once in a lifetime. My mother would feel horrible if my husband didn't show up.

Does anyone have any advice??