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Husband And Wife Relationship Gone Bad. What Should I Do?

My husband and I have been married for 2 years. Pretty much the whole time since we've gotten married, we've been fighting. Sure, we have good times, but the bad always out way the good. I've asked him to do little things for me. Like write me notes and leave me a cute message on the phone. He's in the military. When he's gone out with his friends, i've called him and I was crying saying I needed to talk to him. He would tell me i'm ruining his night and i'm embarrassing him. He didn't even get up from the table. He sat there and told me that right infront of his friends. He's physical sometimes. I feel like he expects me to do whatever it is he wants and I get nothing in return. If you really love someone, why is it so hard to do the small things? If he really cares about me, wouldn't he do those things? We have 2 kids. My oldest isn't his. I've been married 2 times. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find love being married twice with two kids from two different guys. I'm still young, 25. I'm so confused. He's promised me he'd change, but still hasn't. So now i'm living with my mom and dad and my two girls. Someone please help me!!!
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replied August 21st, 2005
Does the mistake we all make. We think oh if I leave him i'm gonna be lonely and whose gonna have me with 2 kids. Honey, all men are not the same. Just do what is right for u and kids, if he doesn't care about ur feelings, obviously he's getting tired of u. So just give him his space, let him do whatever he wants to do and if he really wants to be with u he will come to his senses and come for u. Pray hard, and good luck.
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replied December 29th, 2009
lifes to short for chidish, pathetic games.
ok, i have been in a similar satiation. only got worse. Their are so many woman living this life and for one thing i have learn t after my partner walking out on me, after 6 half years, with 2 kids. Is that games are for children, thats all these guys know how to do. Now that they have you your their possession. They have grown up with disrespect and will never change. Something, someone has made them this way, its unhealthy. Thats where depression, affairs and so forth happen because they will never be happy with themselves. so honey my advise to you is get out now, your half way there, some real man is out there waiting to cherish you. in the mean time stay strong and teach your kids that it's not excepted for this kind of behavior. their your life, let the ones that love you help you. Good luck.
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replied December 29th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
You're not getting your needs met in this marriage. It sounds like you made a bad pick with this man. His level of compassion doesn't meet your need for comfort. This is not a reconcilable difference. One or the other of you will allways be making a sacrifice as long as you both feel this way about your respective needs. You can certainly try couples counselling. I beleive the military offers it on most bases. It is certainly worth a try for the sake of your children. However if you cannot reconcile please work towards having a civil separation and spend mroe time in courtship before marrying again.
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replied February 13th, 2010
Experienced User
The military does offer counseling on all bases, I know because I was in the military for many years. Both parties need marriage counseling. IMO is sounds as if the husbands has yet to grow up and truly does not know to treat others. I full agree with the above replies....some people never grow up; I know this first hand as the person I became involved with was similar in the fact she never grew up and didn't understand love or relationships. This type of relationship will chew you up and spit you out..I know because I was in your shoes however I chose to end it. You need to do something now and I'd start with marriage counseling.
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