Adoption

Hi there. I personally have not been in this position myself, however my sister gave birth and gave her little girl up for adoption 13 years ago. It was the best thing that she has ever done in her life. She gave her the life that she was unable to give to her. She lives with a loving family, who actually I have very close contact with. I go there frequently to visit. In fact, I was just there today for the day. This was one of the hardest things that my sister did in her life and has not for one day regreted givng her the life she knew she couldnt give to her. We thank her for having done that. My sister recently gave birth to her son, with a very abusive man. I cannot however say that she did the right thing, or what everyone else can see is the right thing, by giving this little boy up to a family who can give him what he needs. My nephew, has a heart defect due to my sisters alcoholism. She does not work, nor does her abusive man. A few months ago, he assaulted her, and she swore that she would never go back to him, well I went away for a weekend and when I came back she had taken her welfare check and fled with the father and is now on the run with a sick child. I know that this has nothing to do with adoption, however, we all wish she had chosen to give this child a much better life. She didnt want to do it on her own, so she figured if I have to live with a man who beats me, then so be it. I fear for my nephews life. And I am always thinking about what could happen to him, and her as well. However I know that it is out of my hands because she has chosen to do this. I know that this is a very hard decision for a person to make and I do hope that you do what is best for you, and your baby. It is not selfish to want to give your child more than what you think you can give him/her. I know in your heart you will do what you know is best. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.
My fiancee ( soon to be husband on aug 23rd! ) and I have been trying without success for over 2 years now and are concidering adoption ourselves. So for us I guess someone like you who is willing to give another couple the gift of a child. It would surely be something miraculous. Please weigh all of your options and do what makes your heart feel the best. Good luck and the best of wishes in whatever you decide to do with your precious gift of life. :-) oxox

Thank you :) I hope that your sister is alright and more importantly your nephew is.

Does anyone else have any other opinions about adoption? Has anyone ever been through this before? I'm just really scared and confused. The only stories that I find are about people that go through with adoption because they either have a drug or alcohol problem or have been raped or molested. That is not the case for me, I just don't think it's fair to raise a child by myself and make the child struggle it's whole life because i'm not in the position to raise it on my own yet. Especially when I know that there is a family that would love to have a child and have rearranged their whole lives to raise it.
Anybody got any inside info about what it will be like after I have the baby? What i'm struggling with is which is worse: to either keep the baby and be depressed because I can't take care of it the way I want to or to be depressed because I gave it up.

I have never had been through adoption, but I was in the position to consider it.

I had gotten pregnant in february but there is no way I could of raised a baby. My bank account was in the negatives and mine and my fiance's pay just barely supported us. I had an abortion, which I regret every day. I was afraid of adoption... I just didn't think I could emotionally handle giving up a baby I carried for 9 months. But I made the wrong choice... My baby doesn't even have the chance at a good life, because I made the choice to end it.

If you know you just can't care for this baby, then adoption is a really good choice for you. Don't think about how depressed you will be.. That is inevitable... You will be depressed at having to give your baby up. But think about how happy your baby will be and what a good life it will have! Think about all those people who can't conceive and adoption is their last hope... Think about how your courage and strength to make the decision of adoption will effect other people!

I always thought the same too- that I wouldn't be able to emotionally handle going through adoption after carrying a child for 9 months. And I have always been pro-choice. But I had gotten my period and by the time I found out that I was pregnant, it was too late to even have the option of abortion at 24 weeks. I'm just happy that the baby is ok even though I didnt' get prenatal care until that time. My doc says that she/he's healthy.