I Know This Is Just Another One On the List But I Need Help Posted: 08-01-05 19:56pm
Hi guys,
i have been reading some of these posts
and they just make me want to cry. I am
not a sufferer myself but have a good
friend who is obviously bulimic but is so
headstrong she would never admit to me.
She has always had problems with her body
image, and now I know she is buying
laxitives.....
I know her problems would have stemmed
from early high school when she was a
little chubby, and also her mother who
depletes her self image and spoils her so
much and I think she even buys the
laxitives for my friend....
She is the kind of girl that everybody
loves, and so beautiful - but she is also
so good at lying that it is impossible for
her to admit she has a problem. She can
just spin lies to your face, she told
another friend of mine that the laxitives
were given to her by her doctor.... She
is so smart too, and I could go on for
hours but basically if anyone knows a good
way to approach her about her bulimia -
keeping in mind she just lies and denies
all the time, I would be so grateful as I
am reading all these side-effects and they
are making me so sad to know she is doing
this to her own body.....(and I estimate
she has been bulimic for about 1 year and
a half to 2 years maybe, but it's starting
to show now)
sorry for the long post, I would
appreciate any help I can get.....
Thank you,
nutmeg
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nutmeg
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Aug 2005 Posts: 3
This Is Like a Ps: Posted: 08-01-05 20:28pm
It's nutmeg,
i was thinking of sending my friend a text
message referring her to this site - that
way there wouldn't be any on-the-spot
confrontation and she could even pretend
she didn't get the mesaage or delete it if
she wanted without having to lie. And she
would be with people who understand and
relate as I can't. Would this work or is
it impersonal?
Thanks,
nutmeg
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damsel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 69 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted: 08-02-05 04:16am
No its not impersonal, sometimes you need
to work things thorugh privatly first, so
its a good idea to refer her here, let her
abosrb the info and then talk about it.
Bare in mind she may think your nust for
thinking she has a problem. Does she even
know about eating disorders? I didn't
think I had one untill I did some
research, I just thought I was being
weight concious. If she has been bulimic
(she could also be anorexic, or ednos
bulimia is only if you binge* then purge)
will probably feel really attached to it,
like she cant stop otherwise she'll get
fat. She needs therapy and someone to be
there for her unjudgementally. But people
with eating disorders can be very sneaky,
I know that I tell everyone i'm getting
better and make it look like i'm taking
posotive steps, but really i'm just lying
and being even more deceptive so I can
keep on doing what i'm doing. Its a sad
little world, and if you can rescue her
she will be forver gratefull (when she
better, she may hate you for a while, but
its only a phase) hope all goes well,
xoxo
*binging is when ou eat uncontroably, like
up to 20, 000 calories in one sitting then
either purge, excercise or take laxatives
to rid your body of the food and calories.
The fact she is merely taking laxatives
and purging may be symptoms of ednos or
anorexia, but her doc will diagnose her
properly
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nutmeg
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Aug 2005 Posts: 3
Thanks Posted: 08-11-05 05:47am
Thanks for that,
yeah she knows what she has, she is smart
- I think it's a case of knowing what
you're doing but not being able to
stop....
Well I just sent her a message so I hope
she comes here, maybe just reading the
posts would help. This site is really
good because although you guys help each
other, everyone justs puts it out there -
if you're not getting better - you tell
people and that honesty is really good.
Wow, I just got a reply from her and she
doesn't hate me :o)
thanks for having such a good website and
I hope all of you are able to get where
you want to be and regain your health and
love of life :o)
you are all so beautiful.
Nutmeg
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 08-15-05 10:58am
I think it would be important for you to
either tell her one on one (and not by
text or e-mail) that you are concerned
about her. Texts and e-mails can be
construed the wrong way - was in such a
situation recently with a good friend.
We talked about the issue we had after an
e-mail had been sent, and cleared the air.
Just tell her that you're concerned
about her, and if ever she needs to talk
that you're there. There really isn't
much more you can do than that. No one
can help someone if they don't want the
help. I have been in recovery for a long
time, and it's really only over the last
18 months that i've been in what I
classify as real recovery, as there is a
differnece between wanting an wishing for
it. Sometimes, you want recovery, but
without doing the work to get there - so
that is more like wishful thinking.
These are just my views on the matter...
