I Know This Is Just Another One On the List But I Need Help

It's nutmeg,
i was thinking of sending my friend a text message referring her to this site - that way there wouldn't be any on-the-spot confrontation and she could even pretend she didn't get the mesaage or delete it if she wanted without having to lie. And she would be with people who understand and relate as I can't. Would this work or is it impersonal?

Thanks,

nutmeg

No its not impersonal, sometimes you need to work things thorugh privatly first, so its a good idea to refer her here, let her abosrb the info and then talk about it. Bare in mind she may think your nust for thinking she has a problem. Does she even know about eating disorders? I didn't think I had one untill I did some research, I just thought I was being weight concious. If she has been bulimic (she could also be anorexic, or ednos bulimia is only if you binge* then purge) will probably feel really attached to it, like she cant stop otherwise she'll get fat. She needs therapy and someone to be there for her unjudgementally. But people with eating disorders can be very sneaky, I know that I tell everyone i'm getting better and make it look like i'm taking posotive steps, but really i'm just lying and being even more deceptive so I can keep on doing what i'm doing. Its a sad little world, and if you can rescue her she will be forver gratefull (when she better, she may hate you for a while, but its only a phase) hope all goes well, xoxo

*binging is when ou eat uncontroably, like up to 20, 000 calories in one sitting then either purge, excercise or take laxatives to rid your body of the food and calories. The fact she is merely taking laxatives and purging may be symptoms of ednos or anorexia, but her doc will diagnose her properly

Thanks for that,
yeah she knows what she has, she is smart - I think it's a case of knowing what you're doing but not being able to stop....
Well I just sent her a message so I hope she comes here, maybe just reading the posts would help. This site is really good because although you guys help each other, everyone justs puts it out there - if you're not getting better - you tell people and that honesty is really good.

Wow, I just got a reply from her and she doesn't hate me :o)

thanks for having such a good website and I hope all of you are able to get where you want to be and regain your health and love of life :o)

you are all so beautiful.

Nutmeg

I think it would be important for you to either tell her one on one (and not by text or e-mail) that you are concerned about her. Texts and e-mails can be construed the wrong way - was in such a situation recently with a good friend. We talked about the issue we had after an e-mail had been sent, and cleared the air. Just tell her that you're concerned about her, and if ever she needs to talk that you're there. There really isn't much more you can do than that. No one can help someone if they don't want the help. I have been in recovery for a long time, and it's really only over the last 18 months that i've been in what I classify as real recovery, as there is a differnece between wanting an wishing for it. Sometimes, you want recovery, but without doing the work to get there - so that is more like wishful thinking. These are just my views on the matter...