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I'm Scared to Go Places (Page 1)

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I force myself to go places but I find myself trembling and sweating over something as simple as going to the shop! :shock:

anyone else feel the same?
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First Helper forbsey
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replied August 1st, 2005
Experienced User
Hmmm depends what you mean. Why do you get scarred. Are you scarred of ppl. Are you scarred something might happen to you, do you not like the way you look or something? I find its hard for me to go places because I dont like the way I look. Ppl tell me all the time I look good but I hate the way I look and when I am out in public I always want to cover my face. So what is it that you dont like going out?
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replied August 1st, 2005
Experienced User
Yeh, I get that, I think it's agoraphobia a part of anxiety.
When I go out I get derealisation and depersonalisation like i'm not
really there and I panic and feel ill.
I also am clumsy when im like this, because im so scared of looking
stupid and embarressing myself, I actualy end up doing something stupid like tripping over my feet if you know what I mean.
Also recently I have suffered paranoia and I feel everyone is staring at me and laughing or they are angry with me for no reason :(
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replied August 1st, 2005
Yeah it's because of the way I look. I hate the way I look and I always think that ppl are staring at me and laughing at me. Public transport has to be the worst part, I don't think I have been on a bus for about two years!

My family keep telling me it's a phase and that it will go away but I can't see this anxiety ever going away. And it doesn't help whenever I try to meet new people they don't seem to like me, probably because I act all nervous. I think that I am quite a nice guy and I cant begin to imagine what I could do if I looked differently. I hate this life, I just want to be normal!!!!
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replied September 15th, 2011
I feel the same way!! I stay at home all day.. i do go outside.. in my back yard to play with my pet.. but going downtown or to the mall.. i'm scared what people will think of me.. and my family tells me i'm just being lazy and not wanting to go any place.. are you kidding me? i am not even 21 yet!! i no longer have a job.. and i've been jobless and living off my boyfriend for the past 2 years now... i want a job i want to make my own money... i just don't understand why i can't get over this.. i hate the way i look also... even though i am told i am pretty all the time... my city is small.. and i feel like a lot of people know me and don't like me.. so.. that also makes it hard.. and i have tried to tell myself.. that everyone has to make a living and live life.. it's what everyone else is doing.. but.. that works for a few days or days where i am needed somewhere... but if i am with my boyfriend or family.. everything is okay... i don't understand.. :s
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replied August 2nd, 2005
Hey
Delancey and forbsey - I have exactly the same problem. I hate going out, I feel like everyone is staring at me like im the ugliest girl on the planet. I know its irrational but fear is much stronger then realising that other people are probably not interested in what your doing (well thats what my mum tells me when im worried) but its so hard to believe that. I just cant. I cant even eat in front of people.I hate going out for meals..Im not completely sure why.When I meet new people I get really shy and tense up, they just think im an ice queen/snob/arrogant or just being really rude when all I really want is 2 be outgoing and confident! I want to gain new friends, but im just so nervous! Having a social anxiety disorder definetly affects my life, I just wish I could get over it!! :(
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replied August 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
Have you people seen a psychologist? I have read about such cases and I understood therapy helps a lot...Even cures. If you haven't, I think it's a possibility worth taken into account. Good luck.
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replied August 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
forbsey wrote:
yeah it's because of the way I look. I hate the way I look and I always think that ppl are staring at me and laughing at me. Public transport has to be the worst part, I don't think I have been on a bus for about two years!


My family keep telling me it's a phase and that it will go away but I can't see this anxiety ever going away. And it doesn't help whenever I try to meet new people they don't seem to like me, probably because I act all nervous. I think that I am quite a nice guy and I cant begin to imagine what I could do if I looked differently. I hate this life, I just want to be normal!!!!

ya I get that too. I hate the way I look also. Im a guy and ususally guys shouldnt care about how th ey look a ton but I do. I always put concealer on and all that stuff. I hate going out in public sometimes especially the mall because alot of girls are there and I hate them seeing me haha even though I have a gf and stuff. Maybe you just need to go out with friends and forget about it. When you are with a huge group its not as bad.
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replied August 6th, 2005
Hi,

i'm like a rainman of places. I like to eat at the zellers or the elgin street diners and I like to shop at billings bridge mall. I buy big ticket items at sears. I will occasionally be enticed to one of the malls along our major bus conduit, but aside from these places and drop-ins that's all I ever go to. I just don't feel comfortable going other places. I don't know where things are. I don't like excursions. The waiter at the elgin street diner knows me so well he notices if i've gotten a haircut!

Long live rainman! Underwear at k-mart!

Jane.
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replied August 9th, 2005
Experienced User
Ditto
Yes, I feel exactley this way when i'm faced at going out, even doing simple tasks like putting the bin bags out or walking to the local shop, rack me with fear. I wish I could overcome this :(
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replied August 20th, 2005
I Am Just Paranoid...paranoid...i Am Scared...
Do I deserve to live if I dont embody the ideals of what a woman should be? I am scared of people talking about me, laughing about me....I cried several times reading your posts on this topic....

I am asian. I am transgendered. People say I look quite pretty. No one has been up front about saying that they find anything amiss. I am afraid to go out and face life every day. Scared that they might know...And laugh and hurt me.

Painful...Painful...Painful...I didnt choose this...It chose me....

This condition has degraded to the point where I dont want to go anywhere to see anyone...

I am scared....

Its more painful because I dont want to kill myself...
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replied August 21st, 2005
Experienced User
Grasseater, you have more courage than most people walking the planet pretend to have. If someone can't admire that, then they have their own issues to deal with that has nothing to do with you. Don't ever consider suicide because you matter as much as anyone with a hating opinion.....Even more so since you just want to be you and not hurt anyone. Be who you have to be and don't worry about the rest.
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replied August 21st, 2005
Experienced User
Anyone here who has agoraphobia........Buy this book.....Hope and help for your nerves by Dr. Claire weekes. It'll change your life and cure the problem. Nobody's too far with anxiety that they can't come back. Noone. I was agoraphobic for years........Just get the book. You can all throw it in the direction of canada if i'm wrong but I think you'll all keep it. It's the best book i've ever read.
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replied August 21st, 2005
Experienced User
lennon wrote:
anyone here who has agoraphobia........Buy this book.....Hope and help for your nerves by Dr. Claire weekes. It'll change your life and cure the problem. Nobody's too far with anxiety that they can't come back. Noone. I was agoraphobic for years........Just get the book. You can all throw it in the direction of canada if i'm wrong but I think you'll all keep it. It's the best book i've ever read.

hmmm I will have to look into that.
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replied August 21st, 2005
Hey people, its cheered me up slightly reading your posts, ive jst got this problem over the past month or so and its getting really bad.. Does anyone know what causes it? And does anyone else when they are out feel like people can sense your fear? Im going to book myself in to see a psychologist and I will post another reply and tell you all how it went.. Thankyou
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replied August 21st, 2005
Clair Weeks Book
Lol I just bought that book yesterday and you would not believe how much it relates to all of us! I would deffinatley reccommend it!!!!
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replied August 25th, 2005
I hate going out too. I am the fattest i've ever been and I just feel like people have a hay day w/that. I'm sure they are looking at my fat rolls that poke up over my very loose fitting pants. I don't wear weird clothing - I really try to just hide my fat as much as I can when I go out - but not frumpy type, I wear nice clothes. But I can't help but think that is the reason I don't make friends cuz i'm fat. I think fat is a turnoff to people and that people don't want to get to know me cuz I am so fat. I have just recently been having anxiety attacks when I go out and I think that is part of the reason......Really, I am at the end of my rope w/this. I just want to feel like people accept me and not have all this stress when I go out places. I am a home body thru and thru. It's where I don't have to be under the scrutany of others.
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replied August 25th, 2005
So I'm Not Alone
Hi
i have been suffering from dizzy spells for 12 years now. They were only back ground to start but have got worse over the years to the point I depend on my family for everything. I've had all the tests including balance tests etc (horror) which the ones they could do as I panicked were clear. They are going to sort out some balance retraining exercises to help me with my balance problem and I have to have cognitive therapy too. Now i'm just waiting for the appointments which will probably take a couple of months.
I'm dizzy all the time since the tests and they said I suffer badly with anxiety which makes it all worse and is all tied in together. My legs go weak too.
I'm going to buy that book what was mentioned. I am also thinking of trying nlp through a hypnotherapist but that's £60 for first session and £50 thereafter!
Any ideas anyone? Anyone been cured?
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replied August 25th, 2005
Re:
Well..I just came across this forum, and I want to share that I have an anxiety problem too, since ages! Earlier I thought it's just me, but I think I know this isn't normal. And I have never yet seeked help from a doctor or a psychologist for this. I avoid socializing, even though I have such an intense need for deep friendships and want to be outgoing and free with everyone. But I tense up with anxiety everytime I have to interact. And it's not about my looks, but it is about what people will think of my quiet behavior or nervousness. I am shy, and I look stupid just smiling. I look dumb, even though I am not, and even though I have so much to share. Anxiety makes my heart pound and I get a stomach pain and I feel like running to the bathroom. I see other people being so free, and comfortable and they talk what comes to their mind...Why am I not like that. I feel most comfortable with my family and with my bf who I am close to, but everyone else (even friends for that matter) give me the anxiety attacks. I have to work hard at keeping my nerves under control. I hate going out alone because then all the attention comes to me and I feel awkward. I dont mind going to a movie theater alone becoz it's dark there anyways lol. Even a walk to the park is highly uncomfortable because I tense up even seeing people coming towards me (on the jogging trail) from the opposite direction. And when I am nervous around people, I know they feel I am weird or snobbish, and then I cant even make friends. When I am myself not comfortable, I end up making people feel uncomfortable too. I dont know what kind of medication this condition might need. Any ideas/thoughts? Thank you! It's nice to be here for sharing and support.
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replied August 26th, 2005
Experienced User
Re: So I'm Not Alone
dizzy head wrote:
hi
i have been suffering from dizzy spells for 12 years now. They were only back ground to start but have got worse over the years to the point I depend on my family for everything. I've had all the tests including balance tests etc (horror) which the ones they could do as I panicked were clear. They are going to sort out some balance retraining exercises to help me with my balance problem and I have to have cognitive therapy too. Now i'm just waiting for the appointments which will probably take a couple of months.

I'm dizzy all the time since the tests and they said I suffer badly with anxiety which makes it all worse and is all tied in together. My legs go weak too.

I'm going to buy that book what was mentioned. I am also thinking of trying nlp through a hypnotherapist but that's £60 for first session and £50 thereafter!

Any ideas anyone? Anyone been cured?



i used to get dizzy spells and my balance would all be screwed up from anxiety. It's all definitely tied into anxiety anyway. That book will help with that. She covers weak knees and pretty much anything anxiety can throw at you. My neck (when I turned my head) and hands used to shake on top of weak knees and dizzyness. I don't know if hypnotherapy works but that's a lot of money to just try something. Read the book before you do that........It'll save you a lot of money.
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