Many people will have different opinions as to the behavior. The bottom line is that it happened and I am grateful for the details for they seem to be honest. Many people wouldn't imagine being involved in situations described by the original thread. However, situations like what was described happen everyday around the globe, in your neighborhood, at college campuses, at the bar down the street, etc. It happens!
At least we are able to give advise knowing all of the circumstances.
I would share that the risk is so small that it would snow in miami before a positive result occurs. That's a fact! First, everyone is concerned about his male friend having hiv, but what about the female? The truth is that when we evaluate and document risk, she is the one who has placed herself at the highest level of risk in the situation as the insertive recipient. Many people simply don't realize that hiv and saliva don't agree with each other, so the possibilities are extremely minimal. Ironically, hiv is not strong when exposed to any type of water or air. It is so fragile. This is probably why I am not aware of one single case of successful transmission from a male receiving hiv from the mouth of a female. I'm sure it has happened, somewhere in the globe maybe undocumented, and that is why it is such a personal decision.
What would I do?
Well, I certainly wouldn't advocate for the elimination of foreplay. Let's be real, we both need it! However, the truth is that if you are willing to stand in a room with another guy while acting sexually with a third party and are comfortable, you may also be comfortable with having unprotected sex. There lies the real risk! Only you know for sure if you have had unprotected sex in the past. I would continue to advocate to make sure that when someone is performing any type of vaginal/anal intercourse that a condom is used. I would make sure that the partner and I would properly test to assure that we are risk free prior to haing unprotected sex.
However, we don't live in this type of world. We really don't. So, I will continue to advocate my position. If you had unprotected sex, get tested.
Is a bj unprotected sex? You figure it out. The test will not harm you. Don't fear the test. Fear the results!