Dealing with Anxious Thoughts

I know that anxiety is just thoughts but how do I not think about things how is that possible but anyways ive been thinking alot about death lately
and it scares me cause I dont wanna die plus im getting older im turning 22 this month and I feel old and it scares me cause ive been suffering from this for soo long now that its like its neaver going to go away that I cant just stop thinking about it and its not just anxiety I feel soo out there that its like allmost all reality has been lost plus its like I cant feel myself talk or process it and that scares me plus like fast movements in front of my eyes mess me up bad it makes me feel like faint or something its scarey I look at all these other people around me and ask myself how is it that they just go on with life and not think about death or other things like me why cant I feel like they do why cant I wake up have a daily plan without all this caca going on in my life I just cant seem to grasp it or get it or take my mind off of it even when my mind is off of it it comes right back not to mention the pyhsical feelings of not being able to hardly talk or walk cause it feels like im not even doing it like im floating or somthing I mean what!!? You know ? Ive seen all the docs and had every test so dont reply asking me if iv been to see my doc cause I have alot of them lol but anyways it sucks for real and ive tried all the meds as well so I dont know lol but I do know that it sucks I just wonder if there is anybody out there thats been suffering as long as I have and have the same feelings cause I would like to start a group and all us get together and talk about this I think that would be great so reply hit me back and lets do this
what r u waiting for ? Its not going to get better sitting there not talking about it holding it all inside so lets do the d a m n thing im me or pm me. Thanks