First off, congratulations on realizing that there are big problems. That was the hardest thing for me to do. A few years ago now I was involved in a horribly controling relationship with a man that I had convinced myself that I loved. For five years our relationship continued to spiral downwards until I found myself completely empty.
My ex was never physically abusive but emotionally he controled how I felt about myself on a day by day basis. I never let myself get above a certain weight, I never cooked things that he didn't like, in fact I would go out of my way to please him by keeping the house clean, cooking his favorites and staying out of his way.
I was never allowed to be around his friends and when the occasions came around that we were all together he would be mad at me for days after if they liked me or wanted to see me again.
He controled me.
How I got out is of no consequence, the way we get out and into these relationships are as unique as our stories. All that I can tell you is that no matter what people say and most importantly no matter what he says ...You are incredibly strong and you have to be a roll model for your baby. The first month or two are going to be hard, I am not going to lie...But if there is a rainbow at the end of this...A year from now, even 6 months from now you will look back and be thankful that you took the steps to leave.
A few things that you might want to do before you go:
1. Check with your state to see if there are any public assistance programs or places you can go until you are back on your feet.
2. Tell a friend or relative that you trust one you are going to do before you do it.
3. Pack a bag if you have to leave quickly and make sure that you have all of your papers, passport, bank info...Etc.
4. Be brave and remember that this too shall pass!
I hope that this reply finds you well and in the end, no matter what your choice that you find total and utter happieness.
J
if it makes you feel better I am now married to the most wonderful man I have ever met and it is only because I finally left the wrong relationship that I have found the right one.
