Hey babe, I hope everything pans out for you. I think you do have an eating disorder, and an eating disorder is so much more than food is about emotions and feelings that your life is out of controll, which it sounds like you might be experiencing. A doc would be properly able to diagnose you. But I would like to clear up that an eating disorder isn't a decision. No way, now how so if you think you do have some controll over stopping then please do, otherwise it will controll you. Hope its all gonna be ok, i've been struggling with an ed for 3 years, i'm 19 so I dont want you to end up as screwed as I am. Keep safe hun, xoxo

Some anorexics fast for long periods of time, but usually not permanently. Some anorexics do eat every day, maybe even three meals, but are not eating enough to maintain a healthy weight.
I don't know how heavy you are/were so you might not be underweight yet, but not eating for several days is not good for anyone. You might want to see a doctor. Even if you have not done this for long, fasting often, especially if you are throwing up too, can cause serious health problems. If you cannot resume regular eating, you may need treatment even if you don't have any health problems yet.

Damsel is right, having an eating disorder is not a decision you make, I never knew I was anorexic when I lost weight, I just thought this was what I looked like and if it took eating very little then that didn't bother me.
Eating disorders are so so complex and food is only the symtom of underlining issues. It does seem that you may have somethings you need to work on but you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. It would be so great if you could deal with all the stuff you need to deal with now because you will be free of guilt and all the other destructive feelings you have.
Anorexia, bulimia, over eating, they are all the same distress and so where I go to therapy we do not call it eating disorder, we call it eating distress. Eating distress represents the thoughts and feelings behind the behaviour, while eating disorder is just labelling the behaviours you use in order to deal with your emotional distress.
You are unable to " fix" your parents marraige although I know it must be difficult to be in a house which is so unhappy, it is so important that you look after yourself and do whats best for you and not for ayone else.
I know that your gran would not want you to become ill in order to be with her while she is in hosiptal, just the fact that you care so much for her and want to help her is enough.
You seem like such a caring person, who is very sensitive and gentle, they are great trates to have but you have to use them for your own good as well.
Your parents are going through a though time and I know you are affected by that but you are not controlled by what your parents are going through. You are your own person and you deserve to be free of all the things you are feeling which lead you to want to not eat, you are so much more then that.
I have had an ed for 5 years now and I have suffered enough, I do not want anyone to suffer needlessly because in the end you are going to have to deal with how you feel and think sooner or later, I just hope that you are one of the lucky one's who has not asked for help too late.
When you suffer from ed, weight doesn't become the only thing you want, you can become very depressed and its not good at all believe me. I also want to mention the medical side to it, there can be so many medical complactions that you might not be able to do sports anymore, your organs could be badly affected, there are just so many things that could happen and death is one of them.
This is not something to mess around with, if you can ask your parents to let you see a therapist, I think it could really help you.
You do deserve to be happy, to be free and to enjoy life and who you are.
I hope you are doing well and if you ever have any questions or just want to talk, i'm here.

Take care!

I just wanted to say thanks for all the advice, and yea hopefully I don't ask for help "too late". I am just afraid of what people would think of me, when or if I were to ever see someone. My counselor at school told me of a person that is nearby that would greatly help, and I could go and visit her often, but my parents don't even know how I feel (though I try to let them know), so I don't know what to do. Though, I ate a sandwich today, and kept it down :) so, I am proud of myself for that. It's just weird, cause now I feel and I tell myself, "you can't eat for like 5 days now" cause you'll gain too much weight. That's just me. I don't understand. But, I am not overweight, so people tell me. I am 5'11" almost 6', and I weigh 129, I used to weigh 136, so just recently, over the past few months, of being out of school I have lost that much. It's not the greatest, but now that I ate a little bit, I feel I have gained it all back! I guess, I will just have to take your all's advice, and possibly get some help before it gets too late. Before I totally destroy my body, and am not able to play sports anymore. Thanks a lot, and I will be around to talk, so. Just keep up the messages:)..I greatly appreciate it!

Hi guys I am new here and I found the site when I was searching for some help and I have always battled my weight I always been chunky and for the past 5 months I been on a diet and I got to a point that nothing happens any more I loose nothing even with exercising and diets and diet pills ...So for the past week or so I been throwing every thing I eat up I think every thing is making me fatter even fruits and healthy things I don't know if I am becoming bulimic or not but I have been getting a lot of headaches and feeling weak and something feels different some times I think I am crazy I step on the scale about 5 times a day and I no longer know what to do should I tell some one what I been doing or not I think if I tell my mother she will think I am acting up again and just want some attention .. I need help I cant stop thinking about this ...Thanks lety

There is no reason to be anorexic or to throw up your food. You can loose weight just as easily with proper diet and excersize. You'll lose just as much weight without harming your health, and you'll feel great about yourself. There is also more than one diet, so if the one that you originally tried didn't work, try another one. Give it some time! If you follow a healthy diet, without throwing up your food, you'll lose weight and feel better about yourself. If you still have that much trouble, then you should see a doctor/therapist.

Well-for me-i dont either know if i'm anorexic-i have a friend who's always on me but I dont think anything-i really wanna be pretty and skinny-i did lose a little weight-all of a sudden this past weekend a friend of mine told me that I was really skinny and she talked to me for about 20 minutes-it was kind of annoying of her but it was really nice of her to really care-she told me that I was really funny and I dont need to be anorexicly skinny I was hysterical and really fun to be around and that made me feel really good-for you all I can do is tell you that it doesnt matter what you look like on the outside because ppl who judge you by that arent worth even thinking about -let me know how it goes-imnauntee5

youtube.com/watch?v=3orF0xrIvws


a short history about eating disorders... maybe someone would like to see it

okayy well im 14 years old and i weigh 124 and i am 5'4, i think i am overweight and i WANT to become anorxic, i hate being fatt.
people say im skinny and pretty but when i look at myself in the mirror i think im fat and ugly.

I know you lose weight by becoming anorexic but I hear that if you starve yourslef for 4 days and then eat again you will just gain weight and it wont even be worth it. But if you starve yourself for one day then eat a little then starve yourslef again you can lose weight. And if you put your body in starvation mood youll gain weight with every food you eat so how do you become anorexic?

I ont know why but these latest comments have really hit me deep, Just reading about people starving There selfs, It nearly makes my eyes fill up with tears, There are people out there starving because they have no food or money and here we are doing it to ourselfs. Its such a horrible thing.

I came on this website as a recovering my ED at the age of 14-15......And now at 18 im being draged right back into it because i am living with A Bulimic housemate who is also my best friend....I havent talked to her about it, I have talked to my other friend who is also her friend, We both know whats going on and talk about Her ED and what to do eg confront her
They both know about my past but they have no idea that i have been purposly trying to eat under 400cals a day....I just dont know what to do anymore

this story is so true im kinda going through the same ezact thing and people tell me i have an eating disorder all the time and i keep denying it say well i drink 5 red bull slushies aday and i eat under 200 calories a day so im not anorexic at all! i wonder now after reading your story and seeing everyones respones to it if i actually do have one because our storys are almost identical...thnx so much for sharing and it made me realize something about myself!

Okay
anorexic girls do eat, its more like a controlled starvation and the state of mind, your using eating as a way of trying to have some control over your life , as it proberly feels like you dont have much at the moment you should deffinetly get some kind of help before its too late, and throwing up is the worst thing you can do because all your teeth will start rotting because of the stomache acid, theres no point being thin if you have an ugly smile now is there?
best of luck
sara x