Bipolar Disorder Forum - I Am Scared
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I Am Scared

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darkmelodies

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005
Posts: 3
Location: NC
I Am Scared
Posted: 07-20-05 19:40pm

Wow, my emotions have been really wierd for the past few weeks. I get very, very depressed, I sleep 4 hrs during the day and another 7 at night. I feel disconnected, I have withdrawn from my friends.
But there are other times that I feel like I can do anything, I laugh, run around the house saying "weeeeeeeeeee!!" I am scaring myself. What is wrong with me.? Also I am not interested in sex, but do find "self pleasure" quite often, or I have sex with strangers, not my husband. I feel like I am downward spiraling!!!!

Melody :?
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pierced

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 4
Location: ca.
Scared
Posted: 07-21-05 20:29pm

You should be scared. Have you been diagnosed and taking medication?
It's not fair to your husband to expose him to disease by having sex with strangers. My exhusband and my last few boyfriends are bipolar and did this to me. By the grace of god I don't have aids. Prayerfully you have medical insurance and can see a doctor and get help asap. I'm sure this can not be any fun and is definitely not normal.
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darkmelodies

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005
Posts: 3
Location: NC
Re: Scared
Posted: 07-21-05 22:34pm

Just to put that part of it to rest, I always used protection, as an ex-escort and porn model, I know better than to have sex without proper protection. I do not have any std's I have been tested every 30 days for the past 3 years. I can't wait to get to the pdoc on thursday..Still a week away :cry:





pierced wrote:
you should be scared. Have you been diagnosed and taking medication?

It's not fair to your husband to expose him to disease by having sex with strangers. My exhusband and my last few boyfriends are bipolar and did this to me. By the grace of god I don't have aids. Prayerfully you have medical insurance and can see a doctor and get help asap. I'm sure this can not be any fun and is definitely not normal.
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pierced

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 4
Location: ca.
Scared
Posted: 07-21-05 23:57pm

I feel for you and will be praying for you. In the mean time even if you have been withdrawing from your friends I know I always feel better after talking or getting together with a friend especially if they make you laugh.
Sun shine and even just getting out doors and walking is helpful and just talking with god and asking him to help you. Hang in their it's almost thursday.
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darkmelodies

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005
Posts: 3
Location: NC
Thanks Pierced!!
Posted: 07-22-05 00:02am

I will try to get out. I have been awake for 21 hrs now....Just can't sleep at all. I usually nap during the day, but not today :shock:
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Jemini

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2005
Posts: 58
Location: Australia

Posted: 07-25-05 04:45am

You have a husband and your sleeping with strangers!? What are you doing with him in the first place. I'm sorry to be blunt. Its hard, but taking the step to get help will be the best thing to do before you hurt someone.
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