Mental Health > Eating Disorders Forum > Help: I Have to Throw Up When I Am Dining With Girls
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Q: Help: I Have to Throw Up When I Am Dining With Girls
asked by: rolf_stewart on July 20th, 2005
New User
Hello everybody:

i am a healthy, fit, non-smoking 23-year-old male, neither overweight nor underweight, rather on the lower edge of regular weight. I am not having any "regular" eating disorders, such as bulimia or anorexia. I can go to mcdonald's and enjoy two hamburgers with large fries, an entire pizza, etc. If I am by myself or with guy friends, or even with girls that I do not have a romantic interest in -- and I am just fine.

The "eating disorder" I am having is the following: whenever I have dinner -- be it at a restaurant or having food I cook at my apartment -- with a girl who I do have a romantic interest in, my stomach gets all weird and 90% of the time I have to throw up. You know, I can enjoy a conversation with a girl just fine, the same is true for drinks but as soon as food is served, I begin to feel physically sick. Sometimes I can eat half of what's on my plate, sometimes only a few bites.

These are the symptoms: it starts off with me having to breathe heavily, then sweat breaks out on my forehead and after a minute or so I reach the point-of-no-return where I have to excuse myself to the restroom.

Obviously, women can immediately tell that there is something wrong with me as soon as the heavy breathing and the sweating sets in. I normally tell them that I just think it's incredibly hot and there is nothing to worry about. Then I usually tell them I have to quickly go to the restroom to get some cold water in my face.

The first time this problem occurred was in 2002, when it took me totally unawares on my first date ever. That was at my apartment and my date could hear all along... It was so embarrasing! But it's happened on pretty much every date with other girls I have had or currently have a romantic interest in.

The weird thing is that this problem seems to be limited to the romantic feelings. Last year, for example, at an internship, I had lunch with the same girl for nearly three months and nothing ever happened. Then towards the end of the internship, I had developed feelings for her and asked her out for a romantic dinner. We were about two minutes into our food when I had to run for the restroom.

Surprisingly, I have not become discouraged of dating as I enjoy being around women and being there for them very much, but quite understandably I want to be able to have food around them as well.

Not having found any information using the forum search, I now turn to you. Is there anybody out there who has experienced a similar problem and could offer some advice? Thank you very much in advance!


All the best,

rolf
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Jordan H
replied on July 20th, 2005
Experienced User
It sounds like you are having an anxiety attack, perhaps you are just making yourself soo nervous that your body just rejects any food at all, just try to relax, and if it happens again, try going outside and getting some fresh air...

Sorry I can't help more.
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damsel
replied on July 20th, 2005
Experienced User
I'm not sure you have a classic eating disorder. Most people with an ed will feel an intense fear of getting fat, hatred of food. Also a greats sense of achievement and controll when they dont eat or make them selves throw up. I think you're just nervous, or having an anxiety attack. I hope all goes well for you! :)
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