Well, I am writing this to hopefully have someone respond that has been through something like this, cuz right about now I dont think I can keep going.

My wife and I seperated 4 months ago after being together since we were 16 I am 31 now, we have had many ups and downs, and I was not always the best father, boyfriend, husband, and in the same token I am sure she would agree she made some poor choices. We were married at 21, we declared bankruptcy at age 26 and now at 31 are dealing with seperation with 4 amazing kids, I pay her child support every month, even though the amount I pay leaves me with literally nothing at the end of the month, yet she has "extra" money to do fun things. Through all of this I still love her and I dont know what to do, I have never been alone before, and I dont like it, my friends are good at trying to get me to go out and things, problem is most things cost money which I dont have, and I am not exactly a barrel of laughs lately. I live in the same neighborhood as my ex and the kids, I see them everyday and they more often than not spend the night, my one son just spent a week.

I just want the pain to go away, but it wont, everytime I think of anything that has happened in my life it includes her, but now I am not supposed to think like that. I dont know why exactly I am writing this here but right now I just want someone not close to me to offer a suggestion or something, I dont know, at night when the kids dont stay over I am constantly thinking about ending it all, but I know it would hurt them, and then I would disappoint them again, really a no win.

Well it is almost 2 am here, and I should think about going to bed soon, to whom ever reads this, thank you for taking the time, to read about my problems.

Sincerely


saddad