Uncontrollable Jealousy?

I'm in the same boat. My boyfriend is in regular contact with his ex and it makes me crazy sometimes, especially because she is quite an attractive girl. I wish he would cut ties with her, but he insists that it is just friendship. He also has other female friends, though some have been past crushes. I have male friends and am in regular contact with some ex's. He doesn't seem to care about that. So, maybe we shouldn't care. I know for me, it's a self-esteem issue. I have a pretty low self-esteem, even though i'm successful and attractive also. I'm sure you're a great person too, so let's focus on that. Improving ourselves. Jealousy can be consuming and overwhelming. Have you confronted him with your discomfort? If so, how does he react?

I have confronted him, told him straight out that it makes me feel like crap to know that he's talking to her again, but he just told me not to worry so much, that he loves me, she's just a friend, all that stuff. I still can't get over it though. Haha I feel so pathetic!
I'll tell you something that happened last night though. He was talking about her while we were making dinner, how it's her 19th birthday party next weekend (23rd) and she invited him. He mentioned something about her being very mature for her age, being just one year older than me... And I was straight away like "what?! Hello, i'm turning 19 on the 31st... She's a week older than me"
what's the deal with that? Like he was too preoccupied thinking about her or something.
This might be branching out from my severe depression at the moment, I don't know, but I just feel so threatened. It's kinda of like, I trust him, but I don't trust them, and then if it goes far enough I don't know if I trust him not to be tempted. We went through something really hard on our relationship about a year and a half ago but when we came through it we promised each other complete honesty. I have totally respected this pact because I learned the hard way, but I have "accidentally" found photos and such of other girls on his computer who he never told me about beforehand... He's so secretive. It seems he expects complete honesty from me but him, he can do whatever he likes. Ok, rambling now...

Im not a huge fan of ex's sticking around and using the "were just friends" line.. What it means to me is "im going to still be your friend so when somthing happens between you and your bf/gf I can jump right back in there"both me and my girlfriend have cut ties with our ex's for eachother. Ya they still try and contact us but its for our/their own good

if your boyfriend is talking to his x from a long time ago or someone he used to be with then tell him straight up that he needs to stop because its hurting you inside. you can not ignore something like this it will always come back up no matter how much you try to hide the truth! just come clean and tell him or her that this is how its making me feel and if he/she is the right person for you they will understand because im sure they have been jealous of something you have done as well!

if your boyfriend is talking to his x from a long time ago or someone he used to be with then tell him straight up that he needs to stop because its hurting you inside. you can not ignore something like this it will always come back up no matter how much you try to hide the truth! just come clean and tell him or her that this is how its making me feel and if he/she is the right person for you they will understand because im sure they have been jealous of something you have done as well!