And how do you cure it? I think what I
have is dependent personality, cause I
have an extreme need to be close to
someone. But along with many of the
symptoms of that diagnosis, I also have
this thing where I copy the person who I
want/need to be close to. I've done it
with so many people, parents, people at
church and school who I want to be close
friends with, and a couple girls I liked.
I did this mostly because I figured
they'd like me if I had everything on
common with them, but also because i've
been put down and rejected, made fun of
etc. If I acted like myself, so I figured
if I took on the character of somebody
else, they wouldn't make fun, which
worked. Now I don't even know who I am
anymore, I don't seem to have my own
identity, and copying is just annoying
people, like would you want someone to be
exactly the same as you? I'm not sure
what I have (besides major self-esteem
issues) but if anyone knows (like a
diagnosis) , please let me know. Thanks.
|
autogirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2005 Posts: 4 Location: arkansas
Posted: 07-15-05 22:40pm
Your situation sounds very much like the
way I was in high school. I suffered
terribly from low self esteem, and poor
socialization skills. Partly my problem
was due to add, which was not even
"discovered" in my day.
Still, see a professional. I did while
going through my divorce, and my couselor
diagnosed me with attachment disorder.
There's not a lot written about it, but
the basis is a deep seated fear of
abandonment. The need to please and be
like everyone else comes from the lack of
bonding with another at a very early age,
most typically your mother. I know this
was true in my case. My earliest
memories are about being afraid that my
parents would go somewhere and never come
back. I was always the last to be picked
up from places, and the waiting was agony.
There's alot more to it, but I won't
bore you. Still, try looking for
attachment disorder on the internet.
Also, take care, and be kind to yourself.
|
Sloaner
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 2
Posted: 07-17-05 03:56am
Thanks, that helps. I'm seeing a
psychiatrist (again) in a couple weeks but
I can't wait that long to find out what's
wrong and how to fix it. I'm 20 and
suppose to be in my prime, each day or
weak counts.
There was definately a lack of bonding
at an early age. My mom was never
around, keeping the dishes clean
apparently were more important than the
family. My dad was never around, he has
avoidant personality. My brothers never
got along, oldest one kicked out a couple
times and has bipolar and maybe
schitzophrenia, youngest has sever
tourettes and adhd, the other one is,
well, he might a disorder named after him
someday. Plus my mom decided to
homeschool me up until grade 4, which then
I was really weird, stupid (i remember
being made fun of for not knowing what
caffeine was), and no social skills so I
obvsiously never made any 'friends', just
some aquiantences i'd hang out with once
in a while. I hardly ever found a
partner for group work in school, usually
alone at recess, and after school in my
room, not to mention I was deprived of so
many things. Like I wasn't allowed to
watch the simpsons, plus 6 ppl and one tv
was always a fight, no violent videogames
like goldeneye, parents hardly ever took
us out anywhere. Yeah, usually in my
room alone. High school wasn't much
different.
So yeah, a total lack of everything.
