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Q: What Do I Have?
asked by: Sloaner on July 13th, 2005
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And how do you cure it? I think what I have is dependent personality, cause I have an extreme need to be close to someone. But along with many of the symptoms of that diagnosis, I also have this thing where I copy the person who I want/need to be close to. I've done it with so many people, parents, people at church and school who I want to be close friends with, and a couple girls I liked. I did this mostly because I figured they'd like me if I had everything on common with them, but also because i've been put down and rejected, made fun of etc. If I acted like myself, so I figured if I took on the character of somebody else, they wouldn't make fun, which worked. Now I don't even know who I am anymore, I don't seem to have my own identity, and copying is just annoying people, like would you want someone to be exactly the same as you? I'm not sure what I have (besides major self-esteem issues) but if anyone knows (like a diagnosis) , please let me know. Thanks.
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autogirl
replied on July 15th, 2005
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Your situation sounds very much like the way I was in high school. I suffered terribly from low self esteem, and poor socialization skills. Partly my problem was due to add, which was not even "discovered" in my day.

Still, see a professional. I did while going through my divorce, and my couselor diagnosed me with attachment disorder. There's not a lot written about it, but the basis is a deep seated fear of abandonment. The need to please and be like everyone else comes from the lack of bonding with another at a very early age, most typically your mother. I know this was true in my case. My earliest memories are about being afraid that my parents would go somewhere and never come back. I was always the last to be picked up from places, and the waiting was agony. There's alot more to it, but I won't bore you. Still, try looking for attachment disorder on the internet. Also, take care, and be kind to yourself.
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Sloaner
replied on July 17th, 2005
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Thanks, that helps. I'm seeing a psychiatrist (again) in a couple weeks but I can't wait that long to find out what's wrong and how to fix it. I'm 20 and suppose to be in my prime, each day or weak counts.
There was definately a lack of bonding at an early age. My mom was never around, keeping the dishes clean apparently were more important than the family. My dad was never around, he has avoidant personality. My brothers never got along, oldest one kicked out a couple times and has bipolar and maybe schitzophrenia, youngest has sever tourettes and adhd, the other one is, well, he might a disorder named after him someday. Plus my mom decided to homeschool me up until grade 4, which then I was really weird, stupid (i remember being made fun of for not knowing what caffeine was), and no social skills so I obvsiously never made any 'friends', just some aquiantences i'd hang out with once in a while. I hardly ever found a partner for group work in school, usually alone at recess, and after school in my room, not to mention I was deprived of so many things. Like I wasn't allowed to watch the simpsons, plus 6 ppl and one tv was always a fight, no violent videogames like goldeneye, parents hardly ever took us out anywhere. Yeah, usually in my room alone. High school wasn't much different.
So yeah, a total lack of everything.
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