I want to be a psychiatrist when I grow up

Hello! I'm new here, and I just decided to join because I was reading through topics here about schizophrenia. I want to be a psychiatrist when I grow up.--wait! Don't leave yet!--i know from, from my reading here that a lot of you don't look too highly upon psychiatrists, but hear me out first.


My parents expect me to be a doctor. You know... Those boring people who poke around with different parts of your body and tell you what's wrong with you. But... I don't know... Physical stuff just doesn't appeal to me. I want to be a psychiatrist to learn more about myself, actually.


I feel really, really confused a lot, and am also a really paranoid person. Like... I always need to close all doors and close all windows in my room because I dont feel secure. All my window blinds are always drawn closed. If any of the openings in my room aren't closed securely, I start feeling really paranoid about someone watching me. My parents just don't understand and tell me, "if you didn't do anything wrong, you have nothing to be afraid of."

also, I get really angry and small things, like just my sister not putting things back for me. It's not just me getting a little pissed off, but I actually blow up at her and scream and kick things. I end up hurting myself physically sometimes for little things too. After I hurt myself, I end up crying for like... Fives minutes before I start cracking up and laughing my head off as if something was really hilarious. Do I sound crazy to you?


At first I thought I was the one that needed a doctor, but I don't think that a doctor can help me since they're supposed to be all sane and stuff... They can't possibly understand me. So last year, I decided that I wanted to by a psychiatrist, but I don't want to heal the brain, I want to heal the mind, so I really need to understand the mind, you know? I don't think I actually have a sickness because I don't really have symptoms of sicknesses (or no serious ones that I know of). Still, I think im kind of... Abnormal compared to others. By becoming a psychiatrist, I want to help others, but as well as myself. But I need to actually understand what i'm expected to be before I actually set my future career. So I would like to ask for some opinions. if you were to see a psychiatrist, how would you want him/her to be? How do you expect them to help you?

i want to know so I can decide. If most people just respond by "i want them to prescribe me medication," then I dont want to be a psychiatrist anymore. So please, tell me.