This may sound silly but, do you sometimes like me, try to figure out what has happened in past conversations with people?

Constantly. Sometimes I forget the meaning of words, what I did two nights ago, what i've said, etc. I mean, i've come to a horrible alcohol problem in the past year, which probably contributes to it, but it's not just under the influence. It happens all the time. I also have extreme mood swings, not rapid or anything, but just one extreme or the other.

Miles, do you find that when you do go over those things that it always seems like either everyone is mean, or that everyone is blaming you for what seems like thier mistakes?

Yes, but I have a temper and can say really mean things, so I always end up apologizing.

Miles I believe you do have schizophrenia, the good news is it really is not what they say it is here. It is 100% curable, and it does not require hospitalization or medicine.

I don't know how much I believe one opinion from two questions, I have so many other symptoms that could attribute to other conditions. I'd at least like a second or third opinion, or some links that explain you're correct in telling me i'm schizophrenic.

Hi, hope you got my e-mail with theory. When you say that you say mean things , is that your intent or is that how others say it comes across ? Often times if others misunderstand and respond to you in a negative way that is logically "twisted" it is because their is a misunderstanding and people will try to create plausable explanations by using an excuse (saying you are the mean one, or you are drunk) even if it is not a fact, to protect their own "social value". This is where we "normals" do use a "twisted logic" of implied meanings which a linear thinking schizophrenic brain does not understand the social meaning with out a truthfull (will correspond with real experience) explanation of the "social meanings" "normal" people infer &imply.The schizophrenic brain when unable to continue to cope under stress (it will be when their is misunderstanding with a "normal" person that unable to pick up outside cues that are meaningful in explaining the brain begins to look for internal cues. This is when a schizophrenic will believe that thier blinking (one or two), or other physical stimuli means yes or no, or truth or lie. When this fails to create rules of logic that correspond with reality (real world experience), the schizophrenic brain has only one option. To create a reality that matches personal perception of experience. The thalamus begins to atrophy as the brain switches from logical (coresponds with "real"world stimuli) left brain thinking, to fantasy right brain thinking. As the thalamus sends less external input to the brain the schizophrenics experience becomes increasingly made of right brain fantasy, which is also where dreams are created. That is why schizophrenics as they get older have more difficulty discerning dreams from reality. This continues until the mind is "seeing reality" as it is emotionally experiencing it. Does that sound like the course the "illness" has run?

Before I start, I don't think i've mentioned this, but i'm only 17. And the saying mean things part, it's kind of hard to put in a black and white opinion. Sometimes i'm just being emotional, sometimes I say things out of anger, and at the time I don't really realize i'm being mean but when they cry or tell me what I said later I feel bad.

It does sound similar, maybe to a smaller degree. What I gathered from it is that I don't understand all the implied social meanings that come up between people in interraction, which could very well be true. I do occasionally have trouble discerning dreams from reality, but it's not immediately after it happens, it's more remembering it (i.E. I'll look back and won't remember the difference, thinking that it could be either, and either dismiss it or choose which it seems more like, I could be labeling the memories and the dreams completely wrong.) I do have logical explanations that people can't follow, especially when i'm trying to explain something--and I do find that it gets worse when i'm under stress, especially being put under stress because I can't get someone to understand something. I'd much like you to explain more on the internal cues and external cues, plus the"this is when a schizophrenic will believe that thier blinking (one or two), or other physical stimuli means yes or no, or truth or lie," I didn't quite understand that. I could research it if you don't want to explain, it just seemed easier to ask.

Miles, I would be happy to help. What happens is as other people get older they take the start talking with "social graces". It is a way normal people talk because we have all been taught to "be good", yet because all people also have a personal interest (what would benifit them most), they will with those "social graces" mask their intent in a way that they will make it souind like they are doing you a favor, or if they have mistreated you they will either deny it, or give a reason why (sometimes truth, sometimes not). Other people understand they are making excuses, but will act as if it is what happened, that is not to be mean but like everyone, we all have trouble admitting our faults, because we want people to like us. Other normal people recognize the decietfull speech, or action, but they recognize they do it themselves, so act as if they believe, they understnd by doing that other people will allow them to do that (as long as its not to "far fetched"). The schizophrenic really is a person who does not understand the deciet going on, and why. That is what makes the world seem so cold, and negative, right now for you. You have had a lot of negative experiences, but because other people say "they didn't mean that" , you have begun to feel it must be your fault, it is not with some simple explanations that are honest, you will understand, and when you understand, your mind won't have to create things to exploain why it's so bad and you won't feel bad about yourself. When you are under stress and those things start happening, what are you thinking about? That is where you are missing a rule of logic to understand. If you don't feel you can ask anyone, start asking me. Explain where you are having problems as honestly as you can from your perspective, and I will give you the logical understanding you need to understand. If I explain things in to complicated of a way, tell me and I will try a different way until you feel you really understand. I want to help, and that is the only thing that will help. The problem really is not with you, it is that these things just arn't explained. Hang in thier and one little piece of logic at a time you will see that life will make sense, and it does not have to be more than picking up a few rules of logic now.

I don't know, I never really came to a conclusion on whether I wanted to stop this or let things run their course. I don't see the glory in being false and deceitful, and i'm almost glad I don't understand it much, though that can be a disadvantage. I enjoy having a different thought pattern, I enjoy seeming abstract, i'm just trying to weigh out the pros and cons. And i'm still not sure i'm even schizophrenic, it's hard to come to terms with. You describe it as something pretty close to me, but there are posts on this board that are titled "i saw a child at the end of my bed" and have to do with seeing your aborted baby crawl around the room, and people saying they would have no regrets killing someone, just a sorry feeling.

You arn't thier now, but miles that is schizophrenia, and that is where it will end up. It is not a choice, if your mind doesnt decipher what is really happening then it is smart and creative enough to "create" a reality that will match how you feel, and although it my build you up for a while it will end in a bad place. It is about understandig the way other people are behaving for your well being. Still be the same smart creative person, still feel the same way bout that decietfull behaviour that is who you are and that is who you should be, but no one can see those qualities if you slip further into fantasy left brain thinking, you wont be able to express it in a way that will be understood. That is when society will go from saying your unique to your "crazy", which I dont believe for a minute. I am involved in theoreticl physics and I will be honest, I don't like most other normal people because I think they waste thier time & energy with social games, but I understand the rules of how it is done so when I need to interact I know I am being understood as I intend, and I am hearing the message they intend for me. That is what will allow you to have a meaningfull life.

Okay, thank you for all of your help, especially offering to help me further by listening and talking about problems of understanding I could be having. I have your e-mail, if you have an aim screen name that would be more ideal. Are you schizophrenic, or do you just understand schizophrenics very well? You mentioned yourself in relation to the questions you were asking me, but I know some people do that to make others more comfortable.

Yeah, feel free any time you need to talk or something is up. I am a very logical thinker, and I really do understand that people really do talk in ways where what they are meaning does not match what their words say. Recently (in may) my partner was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I do theoretical physics, but our life has become this. She was put on medication, no proffesional understood, so she really started opening up. I just applied scientific logic and it seemed very clear what the problem was. I have been spending most time developing real world logic, that has helped her. When on meds she still had delusions, because her brain had no logical way of accepting what was real. She has been of meds and is doing much better than before. In learning about how difficult it has been for her to carry that for years afraid to tell. This is something that their is real help for and afflicted people need the real help society sys it wnts to give. Peace.

A quick ps, that was insightfull, the observation that people do sometimes make stuff up to help someone open up. That is one of those social tools people use. Honestly though miles, I really do understand though the way we use language as if it did not have definite meaning, and for people who use definite meanings, like a schizophrenic, or a scientist, it can be hard to see what they are really saying, and that is why I told you I to think people can speak in ways that can be misunderstood.

Hunkrig,

how can you say miles has schizophrenia? You seem to be 100% certain, but have you met him in person? Maybe your "partner" has sz, but that does not necessarily mean you can tell if someone has it the way have here.

Also, are you sure there is a cure? I thought I read there really isn't and that they are still researching the causes.



Miles,

in my opinion, you simply do not have schizophrenia. But that is my opinion. If you seriously think you are mentally ill, then I advise you do seek a therapist.


I believe you mentioned something about drinking alcohol? Well, maybe you just have an alcohol problem. Not schizophrenia.


Judging from just your posts (from what little I know), there's just no way. Schizophrenia is not just about delusions/halluciations. There a lot of good web sites that enforce this!


for instance, social isolation is a common feature associated with schizophrenia. You mentioned you have a girlfriend? And that you get in verbal arguments and stuff with her? This all purely normal. You have a social life. Schizophrenics, I think, are typically isolated and socially withdrawn. To the point of probably having "no life" so to speak. Schizophrenics are typically withdrawn emotionally and have difficulty with everyday conversations.


I just want to help you out here. Because I have recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia by qualified doctors. I have also read a little about it. All in all, I don't think you have schizophrenia.


Also, be aware of how severe schizophrenia can be and normally is. It is not like a minor personality disorder.


Josh

I do have an alcohol problem - but that has to do with my problem with addiction in general, not me drinking and thinking i'm seeing things. I only really listed the hallucinations because they seemed like the biggest cause of concern, i'd been reading about schizotypic personality traits recently and it described me accurately.

I really do have a problem socializing, when I was 13 I shut myself in my room for a good couple years and no one would talk to me at school. I didn't have any friends because I couldn't figure out how to socialize. I talked to a girl on the internet and it helped me a lot to learn to make people laugh, and I took babysteps until in two to three years I had a pretty stable social life. I still have a lot of trouble talking to people and I still have extreme mood swings and occasional anti-social tendencies. A lot of social problems have gone away, i'm not scared of people any more, I have confidence. Other things come up though, more severe mental problems.

yes! I do that all the time! I don't know if there's anything wrong with me, though.

Hi there! You are not a Dr., so please do not diagnose, you haven't even met the person.
Miles, you need to see a professional. People that drink do have hallucinations, regular people, drs., all sorts of people have drinking problems, maybe if you go to aa or mental health they can start you in the right direction and please do not get me wrong, I am not saying you are crazy, it is just that we all need a little help in our lives sometimes and maybe that sometimes is now for you, before it gets worse.
Good luck to you and keep us posted on what you find out.

Can we please stop focusing on the drinking problem? I used to drink every night, now it's strictly social and has been for nearly a month. That's not the problem I wanted help with, I have will power, I just like drinking and smoking a lot. I don't believe in aa and I don't believe the people in aa are happy, they're always going to want to get drunk and they're always going to feel deprived for not drinking. I don't want help if I have a problem. I just wanted to know if it sounded like a problem, maybe early stages of schizophrenia.