Pregnancy Forum - I'm Miserable!!


I'm Miserable!!

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lil_blaze2004

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I'm Miserable!! Posted: 07-04-05 08:49am


I hate saying this but I am miserable. I have wanted my son for so long (especially after 2 miscarriages) but now that he's here I am miserable and I hate feeling like this. I feel like an awfull person but I just have no patience for anything anymore!!1 argh!!!

poohbear101

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 383

Posted: 07-04-05 08:57am


One of my cousin's felt the exact same way after she had her baby. The doc told her it was just postpartum depression and it would pass eventually (although studies show that postpartum is a lot more serious then some people take it for). You're not awful for feeling this way its understandable you're life has totally changed from what you're used to and that can sometimes feel and be overwhelming. I know I have no experience when it comes to this but I saw how hard my cousin took it (she got so bad that she refused to have anything to do with the baby for almost a month) and I doubt theres anything I can say that will make you feel better but you're not alone and you're definitely not awful.

nancyms

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 03 Jul 2005
Posts: 166
Location: texas

Posted: 07-04-05 10:21am


Are you married? If you have a close family member that can be with you that'd be great. You need alot of support right now, and maybe someone can take the baby for a couple of hours just to give you some rest.

justacanadiangirl

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Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803

Posted: 07-04-05 16:54pm


Hunni it'll get better. Trey needs and loves u. I left u a message on the other boards, but I jus wanted to say something here. U don't have to feel bad about feeling this way. It's a natural thing. I know it's hard now, especially since most of the time i'm sure it's just u since mikey is at work. And plus all the other stuff u've been through since trey was born... U'll be alright hun. Ask ur doc about it when u see him tomorrow. And have a nice relaxing time with ur aunt when u go to see her. It'll all help. Good luck hun. I'm here for u if u need me.

nancyms

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 03 Jul 2005
Posts: 166
Location: texas

Posted: 07-04-05 19:31pm


I would also suggest joining babycenter.Com, they are great and have all types of advice and support from people that are going through this, or have gone through it.

lil_blaze2004

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Posted: 07-04-05 19:52pm


Thanks ladies. V, I saw your other post on castle too. Maybe you can fly to the east coast with jay and come stay with me--lol. I am going to stay with my aunt till friday (with the baby) so hopefully that'll help.

justacanadiangirl

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803

Posted: 07-05-05 00:08am

lil_blaze2004 wrote:

thanks ladies. V, I saw your other post on castle too. Maybe you can fly to the east coast with jay and come stay with me--lol.

I am going to stay with my aunt till friday (with the baby) so hopefully that'll help.

lol that's funny. My friend just asked me to come to montreal with her and her lil sis cuz they're going for a month. Too bad I don't have any money. :(

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Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 476
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Misery? Find Company. Posted: 07-06-05 02:02am


I was the same when I had my daughter. I'd be hanging out for days where my mum could come visit for the day, and then didn't want her to go when it was time to leave- my husband had to be in work from the day after I came home from the hospital. My mother's group and maternal health nurse helped a bit- it helps if ou have a plan for the day- even though you are exhausted and don't even see how you can keep it together, let alone go out. It's not much harder to be out somewhere than it is to be home, really. Even if you just go and sit in a cafe for a while and linger over a coffee, or go to playgroup, or anywhere where there are activities for small children- even though yuor son is too little to participate, you'll be with other mothers, and they won't care if little mr. T screams his head off for ages. You feel better if you've been out, you really do. I remember waiting for something magical to happen at 6 weeks- for some reason i'd heard over and over, "it get easier after 6 weeks", but nothing changed, and I remember thinking, maybe it doesn't get better, I was devestated- then my daughter started to get coic, and it was just a nightmare. No matter what we did, how we held her, how we organised her feeds-anything- she screamed non-stop from about 6pm 'till almost 9 pm every single evening without fail, for about 6-8 weeks. It was an absolute nightmare. We tried everything, but nothing made a blind bit of difference, until she just grew out of it herself. We couldn't do anything in the evenings. After that died down, she went through a couple of months of waking every hour during the night, and having to be settled down again every time. I know how hard it is, but it really does help to go out of the house, find a few different activities to go to every week- almost every day if you can- it really build your confidence - after you've managed him a few times in public, you really feel like, maybe I can do this after all. It's best of all if you can find somewhere with new mothers. You won't be as worried about your post-pregnancy body, or any breastfeeding fumbling- they'll be feeling it all too !! It does seem like it takes a long time to get better, and then it doesn't always get better exactly, it just changes to different problems, but that's enough sometimes. The days go slow, but the weeks pass quickly, and eventually, like me, you find you can't really remember what it was that was so hard, or how you felt, or how long it lasted. Maybe you block it out, because we went through all that and more, and here I am, having another, on purpose.!!!!! At the time I told my mother I would keep a diary of exactly how awful it was, so i'd never be tempted to do it again, so I would never forget. I remember my mother laughing (sympatheticly, I was a colicy baby too, and then she had two more babies after me)- and I guess I was too tired to follow through with the diary !!!! Take time for yourself when you can, if you can just leave him with your husband for 1/2 an hour (leave the house though, as you won't relax if you can hear him crying) or get your husband to take him out for a walk while you have a nice long showerto relax, then blow dry your hair, pluck your eyebrows-little things that make you feel more human, and more confident to go out in public. Try to get out of the house with the little man as ofte as you can, even if he's screaming, it won't sound as bad out in the open as it does bouncing off the walls indoors. It does get better, trust me. Although even knowing that, doesn't make you feel much better when it's so hard. I'll be thinking of you.