Self-harming

I was self harming since yr 7 at school im now in yr 10 and @ christmas I just wanted to die and I tryed to end my life I was smoking, self harming and then I moved on to drink I got so ill because I drank so much I didnt care!
I didnt no what to do I thourght of tellin sum1 coz every1 say 2 tell sum1 in these situations it will help! I told this girl who I thourght was a friend and that I cud trust she told every1 and I got bullied for ages it made me feel 10 times worse but made it easyer to stop self harming cuz I knew if I didnt show I was depressed no1 wud no! So iv managed to stop! But I feel worse than ever I know every 1 is still looking at me thinking theres that fat lyer and attention seeker! I even hurd my so called best friends tellin ppl im a sad attention seeker! I feel I have no friends, no1 to trust and no1 to told to and the more I think about stuff or try not to the more it builds up and makes me wanna die!
I duno what to plz help and tell me if ur goin thro the same plz ! X x x