Hello everyone,
i'm 35, single and 7 weeks pregnant. The "man" that I was seeing (for about 3 years) wants me to abort this child. This is not something that I can do. I just couldn't do it and will not. I had an abortion when I was much younger, now that i'm older and can financially support this child, I can't bring myself to not have this baby.
This man and I had discussed marriage and things were going great for us (apparently not). Apparently when things are light and carefree then everything is cool, but when things get tough, he picked up and left. I never would have thought he would not had my back. In the past we spoke about single parents and fathers not handling their responsibilities and he expressed the same sentiments I did.
The night I told him about this pregnancy, he was telling me about problems he was having with the irs, "problems" with his son's mother, possibility of getting laid off soon, etc. I didn't want to tell him about this pregnancy after hearing about his problems, but I also felt I had no right to not tell him about this.
That night I learned things about him I never knew. He told me he never wanted to be a father and still doesn't. He learned about his son 2 years after his son was born (his son is 12). He was counting down the days until his son turned 18 and he doesn't want to be "trapped" into another 18 - 20 years.
Since I wouldn't have the abortion, he told me he wanted nothing to do with this. He didn't want to know when the child was born, no pictures, nothing. He told me that if anyone (family members, child support, etc) show up at his door, he is packing up and moving (he has family that lives outside of the us).
I was somewhat speechless because this was a totally different person than what I thought I knew. I didn't want to be pregnant. I come from a 2 parent home, I always did everything that was expected of me. Being a single mother was never part of my plan. But we both had sex and we know the consequences. Despite birth control, this happened.
I thank god for showing his true nature and protecting me despite my obvious disobedience. I knew better, but didn't do better and I feel I must stand up and be a responsible woman. I'm scared and confused, but I know that I will be okay.
I do not want to be vindictive. But I do know that child support is for the child and want to know the best way to do this. I know he will run or hide if I even try to contact him now. Really I don't want to talk to him. I can support this child financially, but I also know that I can't account for hidden or unforeseen circumstances (illnesses, hospitalizations, etc.). I will be meeting with a financial planner to go over my finances and determine the correct investments for me and my child. I am not trying to force fatherhood on anyone, but what is done is done. I didn't want to be in this situation either, but I am.
Am I wrong for wanting to know how to proceed for child support? I wanted to have a legal agreement drawn up with him (without the court being involved) and try to work with him while he was going through this bad financial time. But he does not want any communication regarding this child. Part of me wants to just pretend as if he's dead and forget about it, but another part of me knows that I need to make sure I get child support taken care of.
Despite how crazy and mean this man has been to me recently, I really feel sorry for him. What kind of hard hearted person could try to forget and wash their hands of their child? I do not want anything to do with him and I thank god for showing me who this man is before this "relationship" went any longer. I also thank god for giving me peace. I know that i'm in a better position than many other women in my situation and i'm grateful, but I still cry and i'm still confused and nervous. I feel awful that I slipped up and now i'm putting my child in a situation with a father who could care less.
Thank you for reading this lengthy post
Saving 
