I have felt the same thing. The first time I remember feeling it was when I was 10, after a bitter divorce between my parents. It has been with me, in varying forms, for 29 years. I won't go metaphysical on you, but I do see connections between the feeling you felt and the aspects it has as you go through life. I think it is something that turns you against what you want to achieve...makes you sit back when inside you want to take action. It drives you to deep sadness and then comforts you, but does not want you to strive for what can bring you out of it. It makes bad things happen.
I do not know if it is psychological or not, if it is your own energies that manifest it within you, or if it is something external that latches on to you. I do know that it feels like a weight on you, a heavy one, when you try to force it away.
I do not know what it is. I do know that I faced it. I felt it as something external and if you want it to go away, it is a psychological fight that you must push for daily. It it something that you cannot fear, or let it drag you down. If you feel like you want to do something that will better you, find the ability to do so. Whatever it is, it feeds of of your drive and will, and tries to hamper it. Don't let it. If you feel like doing something, do it. Take it's power away. You feed it. You can starve it. I think you know what I am talking about.