God isn't hurting you. Everything that is done is done for a reason. Maybe it just wasn't time for your little ones to leave him. I know you have been through a lot and I can see why you feel like this. But think of it this way, god has a plan laid out for each one of us. I've never lost a child and I cannot even think of what it may feel like to lose something so precious. I'm am terribly sorry for your losses. But, maybe this was the plan all along, and he was testing you to make sure that no matter what you would trust in him and know that he will take care of you. Maybe this little girl you are going to have soon is exactly what you were meant to have in the first place and now he feels that the time is right for you. It is easy to blame him and I know because when I tried and tried to get pregnant I blamed him for it not happening. But I realize now, that it just wasn't he wanted for me at that moment. I know you must have a lot of pain and are probably panicked about this pregnancy, but for the your sake and the baby's you need to try not to worry so much. Actually, it would probably benefit you a lot if you could discuss your past problems with someone who is willing to sit down and just listen to what you have to say. Just to help you let out some pain and some worries. Put your worries in god and let him take care of them, just try to focus on the beautiful little miracle that you and your husband will soon be holding in your arms. I hope this helps you some, and I hope that you can find something that will help keep you from worrying. I know it's hard but it's not good for you or the baby. Take care, and feel free to pm me anytime sweetheart.

i have lost my 1st child but I was into my fourth month gone it was a painful experience. What annoyed me was people saying it wasnt it's time, it wasnt meant to be" I got angered by those coments and thought...Well if it wasn't meant to be then why the heck did I fall pregnant, and why did I go past the danger stage (3 months) and saw all was fine then one day it was all over. I hated everything when it happened, I blamed myself over and over again and yes I blamed god for taking it away....It's natural for a mother to blame herself and at times god, cuz you find yourself searching for an answer as to why you lost your lil one....
When I learnt of other women loosing their babies, at that time I wasn't pregnant, therefore I couldn't understand what they where going through, nor could I imagine what it was like, I used to think they could try again and put that experience behind them....But I was so wrong...Once it happenes to you..Its like getting hit with lightening and effects you in many different ways you never dreamed of...And people saying...>> it wasn't meant to be! Never helps you feel any better....Just like those poor moms that have went through the whole 9 months pregnancy and then their babies are till born...I can only imagine how horrible that is and how it should never happen.

You being scared is only natural...But I too am still frightened...But even though we both thought god had hurt us...I still pray and ask him to watch over my baby this time as people don't always mean what they say when they greive such a loss. When I say the prayers and feel my little one kick everyday...I feel a lot better about it all and try and not think too much on my loss, just hoping that this one pulls through ok...I would give my life to save my child, the fear is always there..But so is my hopes and dreams....So should yours be...So keep your chin up...And keep praying...And you will soon find all is fine and you will be happy. :d

Best of luck...Don't worry too much because baby senses what you're feeling :?
I worry to but it's part of being pregnant and becoming a parent, right :wink: