Depressed of the Way I Look Posted: 06-30-05 02:56am
Ok I had toned smooth skin when I was
younger...Due to pregnancy I got lower
abdomanal stretch marks...Then 9 years
later I had a second baby which was a girl
and she made me baloon causeing more
stratchmarks going up past my belly button
my hips and even down the tops of my
legs.
I also got cellulite down the backs of the
tops of my legs and it is really making me
feel depressed and ugly.I used to wear
short skirts and now I feel I cant wear
anything because I have even balooned to a
size 10 to a 14. Is there anything I can
do..Is there creams out there to help it
is really making me feel down.I was on
anti depressents, but im so forgettful I
kept forgetting to take them.
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liljinx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jul 2005 Posts: 3
Depression Posted: 07-01-05 06:36am
I too am concerned with my looks. I
always have people tell me I should model.
Im 5'10" slim with great skin and on my
good days I am gorgeous but when my
depression sets in I look awful and
strange. I was looking at a picture of
my self taken in oct and I wonder who that
person is. She looks so poised and
elegant. But right now i'm not that
person. I have a great job and am off
during the summers I have a set of
boy/girl twins who are terrific. My
husband is great yet I feel so inadequate.
I'm on cymbalta, provigil and trazadone.
I just started the provigil and it seems
to be working though not fast enough for
me. I'm going on vacation for 2 weeks
with my family and want to be at my best,
but I can't seem to shake this depression.
Ive been on pamelor, imipramine,
activan, lithium,wellbutrin, prozac,
lexapro, abiilfy, effexor, remeron and
wonder when I can finally get control.
Ive had periods when my meds are working
and I feel wonderful and can accomplish
alot. Im not in that period now. I
should be happy but its the depression.
I often am concerned with my looks, too.
Some days I dont want to go out because of
how I think I look. You probably look
fine which is how I probably look too. I
think its our self esteem. Im 42 and
generally have a good body. I have
stretch marks on my lower abdomen, but its
really not bad. I know your body changes
as you age but i'm having a hard time
dealing with it. I really am severely
depressed and wonder if you are too. Its
hard to know what's real sometimes. Are
all of these feelings imagined? I also
get down because I know what it feels like
to feel really good. I guess I had a
taste of how other people feel and im
jealous that I always come back to this.
Please post a reply I feel better just
having said this
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Baldwin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 18 Location: UK
Posted: 07-01-05 07:09am
I feel exactly the same... I used to
have a nice body although im only 5ft
4.But I modeled for a magazine,but all
that they turned me down for was because I
was too short.Having a girl on my second
pregnancy really made me put alot of
weight on.Before I had both children I was
a size 8 skirt/dress and size 10
jeans/trousers. I have cellulite aswell
as stretch marks and im really depressed
about them.My bottom has got big and so
has my hips and thighs.Woman always seems
to worry about the way they look,but its
obvious to me that we both suffer more
because the depression takes over and
makes us feel even more of a failure.
I know how you feel and we both know that
we are not the only ones...To make you
feel better,even victoria beckham has a
few stretch marks on her lower tum that
shes paranoid about...So famous people do
suffer too and their money doesnt always
help them... Hang in there,im thinking
of you
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janeysuz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2005 Posts: 79 Location: neworleans
Britney Posted: 07-09-05 20:45pm
I keep seeing britney spears downing
chocolate shakes and she's already huge,
but at that cute "baby bump" stage, just
wait 'ol brit 'til you get to the real
mind-boggling huge-o beach ball can't move
stage! And add onto that all the fat
you're putting on, omg she's going to have
a tum that looks like crumpled up crepe
paper when she's done, bye bye nice
belly!
But belly marks, they should be celebrated
shouldn't they? I wonder if demi and
britney could somehow turn them into marks
of pride instead of shame? Wouldn't that
turn this whole issue around?
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Baldwin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 18 Location: UK
Posted: 07-10-05 01:05am
Hmmmmm pride is hard to accept. Specially
when you cant wearclothes you used to
because of it. I actually seen in a mag
the other day that people like nichole
kidman...Naomi cambell capprice and few
others have cellulite and dimples in the
tops of their legs...So it gos and shows
no body is perfect.
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Jemini
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2005 Posts: 58 Location: Australia
Posted: 07-10-05 04:54am
Who wants to be perfect? I mean think of
it this way if you were "perfect" then i'd
reckon you would look upon as abnormal.
Humans are meant to be perfect...Sure alot
of us wish we could be, but hey we have
flaws. And because we have some sort of
flaw in all of us, think of it as part of
your personality, because people shouldn't
judge you.
It's ourselves that can be a bit harsh on
ourselves.
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Baldwin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 18 Location: UK
Posted: 07-10-05 08:06am
Im not meaning about being perfect.I would
just like to go back to what I looked like
before having the kids.I felt confident
and happy with myself.And there is nothing
worse then feeling down and hating
yourself with no confidence.
I hate having to go into a clothes shop
and seeing something I really like,only
to try it on and it looks awful on me.I
dont want to be something im not or
wasnt,but I would like to be what I once
was.
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Jemini
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2005 Posts: 58 Location: Australia
Posted: 07-11-05 05:14am
But we can never compare ourselves to the
past though.
I'm sure your a beautiful person. Once
you start feeling beautiful on the inside
it will make it's way out - sounds silly I
know. I too use to have issues on they
way I look, especially when i'm going
through a depression stage. Some how i've
managed to just let it go and do things
that make me happy and hey pamper myself
now and again by getting some facials
done, getting a new cut and colour for my
hair.
It may sound easier said and done, but
think of it this way to, have people even
commented on your looks of being "ugly"
have you felt that you have been talked
behind your back??
I beat you have beat you have beautiful
kids, and i'm sure they get them off
you!
You'll get there, time is always such a
factor.
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jurplesman
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 139 Location: Sydney Australia
Posted: 07-11-05 22:56pm
There are some studies to suggest that
stretch mark after pregnancy may be due to
zinc deficiency.
If we are depressed because the way we
look this could be due to a particular
type of low self-esteem, where the
self-image has been hooked on to a
physical feature, "that cannot be
changed".
Ok about the stretch marks i'm not sure
but the anti depressants I know enough
about to know they are not a good idea at
all.
My friend who was only 21 died nearly 3
months ago from being on so many meds for
so long. She died of a brain tumor which
anti depressants can cause, it can go
undected until it is too late. No amount
of examanations can show all types of
tumors.
Anti depressants only supress your sadness
and lonilness, they do not help you face
up to why you are feeling low and
depressed. It is better to look at the
cause of your depression through going to
therapy rather than ignore it by taking
meds.
I am also depressed so I do understand how
you feel and I have a very poor vody image
as well, sometimes it would seem easier
just to take some meds to help me get
through each day but I know that in the
long run it won't help me at all because
there will come a time when I have to face
my issues about myself and work on them.
There are no quick fixes because you will
have to deal with your feelings at some
stage but there is a way out which will
take longer but will benefit you fot the
rest of your life.
A really good therapist can help wonders
and it doesn't have to be very long, just
to work on how you feel and why you feel
so low within yourself. You all deserve
more than to feel depressed and not worth
anything. You all have family and friends
that care very much about you, it is now
you who have to care and love yourselves
for who you are and the way you look.
I hope you take my advice and the best of
luck to you all.
Remember the hardest thing in this world
is to live in it but it makes life alot
easier if you are happy and content with
yourself and who you are.
Take care!
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jesticle
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 May 2005 Posts: 152 Location: Australia
Posted: 07-13-05 08:17am
Ok look I hate having to always explain to
ppl why I hate my body I know that no-one
is perfect and we are all beautiful ppl
but that doesn't help it does it I mean
we're depressed coz of our bodies mostly
due to those wonderful bundles of joy but
still..... I do not have children I had
my son stillborn at 23 weeks I put on 15
kilos in that time I was 16! I not only
was left very depressed about my loss but
I was also left with a body very diff to
my little size 6 body its been 2 years and
have not gone back to my sixe 6 im at a
size 12 and have very bad strech marks and
cellulite so does anyone know how to get
rid of them with any creams? Anything!
Please
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jurplesman
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 139 Location: Sydney Australia
Posted: 07-14-05 00:16am
Hello butterfly and jesticle,
yes a lot of people on ad medication
experience disappointment with the drugs,
because drugs can only mask the symptoms
and not 'cure' the underlying causes of
depression.
But it would be a mistake to believe as so
many people do that if drugs don’t work,
psychotherapy will!!
Most people with chronic depression do
have chemical imbalances and they cannot
be treated by talk therapy, just as you
cannot cure diabetes with talk therapy.
It is a biological disease!
Where main stream medicine and psychology
fail us is in not being able to treat the
underlying biochemical abnormality
responsible for depression without
recourse to drugs.
Depression is mainly due to the body’s
inability to produce the right kind of
neurotransmitters such as serotonin.
Depression is a serotonin deficiency
disease and hence we need to find ways in
helping our body produce sufficient
amounts of serotonin to make us feel happy
and relaxed when we normally should.
This cannot be done by single miracle
drugs, because human biochemistry is far
more complex than what can be handled by
simple chemicals pushed down our
throats.
If you study the biochemistry for how
neurotransmitters are synthesized in our
body you soon come to realize that
neurotransmitters are produced form
nutritional forerunners, from ingredients
found in the food we eat.
Serotonin is produced from tryptophan- a
nutritional amino acid (protein unit) -
found in food. It requires also vitamin
b6, zinc and magnesium to complete the
conversion. Hence people on the wrong
diet are often vulnerable to depression.
There are many other nutritional factors
that interferes with serotonin
synthesis.
This goes to show that depression is a
nutritional disorder, a concept that can
upset a lot of people who firmly believe
that depression is a mental disorder,
controlled by a dysfunctional mind. They
further mystify the problem by claiming
that depression is a multidimensional,
complex illness affected by many 'other'
factors, that cannot possibly be cured by
a 'one cause' remedy like nutrition. Of
course this is a good excuse for not being
able to 'cure' depression.
These people have problems understanding
that if you have a chemical abnormality in
the brain, you will have ‘abnormal
psychological experiences’ that they
then confuse for causes of depression
instead of symptoms.
A major element in the synthesis of
neurotransmitters is the presence of
biological energy again derived form the
sugars we eat. If there is an obstruction
in the absorption and metabolism of sugars
into energy, the brain cannot produce
neurotransmitters. In this case the brain
will trigger the release of stress
hormones, that are responsible for most of
the symptoms in mental illness.
Thus depression can be treated without
recourse to drugs, and psychotherapy may
be useful only after treatment of the
biological causes of depression.
It is a matter of a shift in paradigm,
science and education of both patients and
therapists before we can see any progress
in treatment.
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 7 Location: new zealand
16 Year Old Freak Posted: 07-20-05 07:38am
Hey all, I also dont like the way I look.
I am only 16, have not had a baby lol, yet
I have stretch marks on my boobs that are
really bad, last year I came third in my
little town of waihi beach beauty pagent
but now-i cant even wear a bikini! I have
them on my butt and they are slowly
climbing my hips too-wot to do?! I am 16,
this shouldnt be happening! Everyone says
im gorgeous but I feel like a freak and
cant wear tops that most people my age do.
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sad in winston
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Aug 2005 Posts: 2 Location: winston-salem n.c.
Posted: 08-05-05 19:48pm
:cry: I am sad all the time it is my
weight I am fat out of shape and no energy
to do anything I am so lost fat with no
energy and cant breath good no life
outside I just stay at home really no
friends and I dont feel like doing
anything I wish I had a way out buy I have
no answer to this promble I take 3 kinds
of meds witch the dr said was helping I
guess they just cover up if I could lose
200 ibs I would be happy my weight my
looks and my age is allgainst me
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tanny
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2005 Posts: 1 Location: uk
Is It the Society We Live In? Posted: 08-17-05 17:08pm
Hi I am a indian girl who has been born
and lives in the uk. I feel alot of
depression lies within the society we live
in now I think most of these post have
come from the states or uk and thinking
about a conclusion a few days ago would I
feel depressed about the way I look if I
was in a country where appearance wasnt
the only thing that matters. I have been
suffering from depression for the last two
years and feel it has completely ruined my
life times I would feel I am on top of the
world other times I would feel I would
rather walk around with a bag on my head.
I always had a phobea about being ugly it
has gone to such a extreme I cannot walk
past any mirror without looking and
feeling paranoid that I am deformed in
some way. The strange thing is I could
say I have had a fair share of people
wanting to date me but I would run or push
them away as I feel paranoid they are
doing this to make a joke of me. I have
been on anti depressant for the last 2 yrs
but no good. I have never been called
ugly but I am scared someone one day will.
From my family and friends I have always
been called the pretty girl but why dont I
see it. I have gone to such a extreme
where I have started to wear huge caps to
hide myself and feel I can only come out
in the dark. Crazy hey.I just had to
let this out of my system thanks for
reading. God bless.
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princessb3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Aug 2005 Posts: 6
Celebrate Posted: 08-20-05 22:47pm
I know people will roll their eyes at this
but...
No one is every totally (100% postively
and perfectly) happy with everything about
themselves. I know that I have been
struggling for many months (years?) with
how I look and it has just made me more
unhappy with myself. I want to find total
bliss with how I look and feel and I know
at that point the changes that I need to
make (for my health and myself, no one
else) will begin to occur. I am a
psychology major in michigan pursuing my
phd and I know that body image is a huge
concern for every woman (but anyone knows
that, right?) my studies have helped me
control my negativity and helped me gain
strenght and reassurance that I just need
to be good enough for myself, because if I
can please me then I have conquered my
toughest critic :)
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gemstone83x
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2005 Posts: 57 Location: uk
1 Posted: 09-02-05 16:27pm
11
Last edited by gemstone83x on 08-01-06 10:03am; edited 1 time in total
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Atropos
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Posts: 16 Location: California
Posted: 09-03-05 19:46pm
I agree with princess, it's normal to
think you're ugly. In fact, I don't know
many people who like the way they look.
But, of course, normal doesn't mean good.
It's just too bad that we're hardwired to
be so competitive. And it's worse that
that tendency is preyed upon by, well,
everybody. Guys, peers, media.
I'd tell you all that as long as you're
healthy, it doesn't matter, but the truth
is that no one can tell you you shouldn't
feel ugly, for the same reason that no one
can tell you you shouldn't feel pretty.
It wouldn't be so bad if everythng didn't
give the appearance if perfection being
attainable. It's fine if there's one
gorgeous model, but what happens when
there are twenty in a row in a magazine?
Or your friends all have bigger boobs or
smaller waists than you? Then we start
to feel ugly. And for me, the only cure
for that is to realize that it could be
worse. Just telling it like it is.
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Toiles
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 154 Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posted: 09-05-05 18:26pm
Alot of us feel bad on the way we look.
Dont worry though we tend to think we are
bad looking when we actually arent. The
big thing now in days is acne. Alot of
people are depressed because they have
acne. When alot of people think its just
a huge deal. Try not too worry so much.
Go out and try and meet a girl. If you
have a gf (atleast for me) when I have a
girlfriend I dont care how other people
think I look. As long as I have family
friends, and a girlfriend that think I
look good what difference does it make how
other people look at me.