Depressed of the Way I Look

I too am concerned with my looks. I always have people tell me I should model. Im 5'10" slim with great skin and on my good days I am gorgeous but when my depression sets in I look awful and strange. I was looking at a picture of my self taken in oct and I wonder who that person is. She looks so poised and elegant. But right now i'm not that person. I have a great job and am off during the summers I have a set of boy/girl twins who are terrific. My husband is great yet I feel so inadequate. I'm on cymbalta, provigil and trazadone. I just started the provigil and it seems to be working though not fast enough for me. I'm going on vacation for 2 weeks with my family and want to be at my best, but I can't seem to shake this depression. Ive been on pamelor, imipramine, activan, lithium,wellbutrin, prozac, lexapro, abiilfy, effexor, remeron and wonder when I can finally get control. Ive had periods when my meds are working and I feel wonderful and can accomplish alot. Im not in that period now. I should be happy but its the depression. I often am concerned with my looks, too. Some days I dont want to go out because of how I think I look. You probably look fine which is how I probably look too. I think its our self esteem. Im 42 and generally have a good body. I have stretch marks on my lower abdomen, but its really not bad. I know your body changes as you age but i'm having a hard time dealing with it. I really am severely depressed and wonder if you are too. Its hard to know what's real sometimes. Are all of these feelings imagined? I also get down because I know what it feels like to feel really good. I guess I had a taste of how other people feel and im jealous that I always come back to this. Please post a reply I feel better just having said this

I feel exactly the same... I used to have a nice body although im only 5ft 4.But I modeled for a magazine,but all that they turned me down for was because I was too short.Having a girl on my second pregnancy really made me put alot of weight on.Before I had both children I was a size 8 skirt/dress and size 10 jeans/trousers. I have cellulite aswell as stretch marks and im really depressed about them.My bottom has got big and so has my hips and thighs.Woman always seems to worry about the way they look,but its obvious to me that we both suffer more because the depression takes over and makes us feel even more of a failure.



I know how you feel and we both know that we are not the only ones...To make you feel better,even victoria beckham has a few stretch marks on her lower tum that shes paranoid about...So famous people do suffer too and their money doesnt always help them... Hang in there,im thinking of you

I keep seeing britney spears downing chocolate shakes and she's already huge, but at that cute "baby bump" stage, just wait 'ol brit 'til you get to the real mind-boggling huge-o beach ball can't move stage! And add onto that all the fat you're putting on, omg she's going to have a tum that looks like crumpled up crepe paper when she's done, bye bye nice belly!

But belly marks, they should be celebrated shouldn't they? I wonder if demi and britney could somehow turn them into marks of pride instead of shame? Wouldn't that turn this whole issue around?

Hmmmmm pride is hard to accept. Specially when you cant wearclothes you used to because of it. I actually seen in a mag the other day that people like nichole kidman...Naomi cambell capprice and few others have cellulite and dimples in the tops of their legs...So it gos and shows no body is perfect.

Who wants to be perfect? I mean think of it this way if you were "perfect" then i'd reckon you would look upon as abnormal.
Humans are meant to be perfect...Sure alot of us wish we could be, but hey we have flaws. And because we have some sort of flaw in all of us, think of it as part of your personality, because people shouldn't judge you.
It's ourselves that can be a bit harsh on ourselves.

Im not meaning about being perfect.I would just like to go back to what I looked like before having the kids.I felt confident and happy with myself.And there is nothing worse then feeling down and hating yourself with no confidence.

I hate having to go into a clothes shop and seeing something I really like,only to try it on and it looks awful on me.I dont want to be something im not or wasnt,but I would like to be what I once was.

But we can never compare ourselves to the past though.
I'm sure your a beautiful person. Once you start feeling beautiful on the inside it will make it's way out - sounds silly I know. I too use to have issues on they way I look, especially when i'm going through a depression stage. Some how i've managed to just let it go and do things that make me happy and hey pamper myself now and again by getting some facials done, getting a new cut and colour for my hair.
It may sound easier said and done, but think of it this way to, have people even commented on your looks of being "ugly" have you felt that you have been talked behind your back??
I beat you have beat you have beautiful kids, and i'm sure they get them off you!
You'll get there, time is always such a factor.

There are some studies to suggest that stretch mark after pregnancy may be due to zinc deficiency.


If we are depressed because the way we look this could be due to a particular type of low self-esteem, where the self-image has been hooked on to a physical feature, "that cannot be changed".


Please google search our web site for

"the wooden leg argument"

jurriaan plesman, ba (psych) post grad dip clin nutr

Ok about the stretch marks i'm not sure but the anti depressants I know enough about to know they are not a good idea at all.
My friend who was only 21 died nearly 3 months ago from being on so many meds for so long. She died of a brain tumor which anti depressants can cause, it can go undected until it is too late. No amount of examanations can show all types of tumors.
Anti depressants only supress your sadness and lonilness, they do not help you face up to why you are feeling low and depressed. It is better to look at the cause of your depression through going to therapy rather than ignore it by taking meds.
I am also depressed so I do understand how you feel and I have a very poor vody image as well, sometimes it would seem easier just to take some meds to help me get through each day but I know that in the long run it won't help me at all because there will come a time when I have to face my issues about myself and work on them.
There are no quick fixes because you will have to deal with your feelings at some stage but there is a way out which will take longer but will benefit you fot the rest of your life.
A really good therapist can help wonders and it doesn't have to be very long, just to work on how you feel and why you feel so low within yourself. You all deserve more than to feel depressed and not worth anything. You all have family and friends that care very much about you, it is now you who have to care and love yourselves for who you are and the way you look.
I hope you take my advice and the best of luck to you all.
Remember the hardest thing in this world is to live in it but it makes life alot easier if you are happy and content with yourself and who you are.
Take care!

Ok look I hate having to always explain to ppl why I hate my body I know that no-one is perfect and we are all beautiful ppl but that doesn't help it does it I mean we're depressed coz of our bodies mostly due to those wonderful bundles of joy but still..... I do not have children I had my son stillborn at 23 weeks I put on 15 kilos in that time I was 16! I not only was left very depressed about my loss but I was also left with a body very diff to my little size 6 body its been 2 years and have not gone back to my sixe 6 im at a size 12 and have very bad strech marks and cellulite so does anyone know how to get rid of them with any creams? Anything! Please

Hello butterfly and jesticle,

yes a lot of people on ad medication experience disappointment with the drugs, because drugs can only mask the symptoms and not 'cure' the underlying causes of depression.


But it would be a mistake to believe as so many people do that if drugs don’t work, psychotherapy will!!


Most people with chronic depression do have chemical imbalances and they cannot be treated by talk therapy, just as you cannot cure diabetes with talk therapy. It is a biological disease!


Where main stream medicine and psychology fail us is in not being able to treat the underlying biochemical abnormality responsible for depression without recourse to drugs.


Depression is mainly due to the body’s inability to produce the right kind of neurotransmitters such as serotonin. Depression is a serotonin deficiency disease and hence we need to find ways in helping our body produce sufficient amounts of serotonin to make us feel happy and relaxed when we normally should.


This cannot be done by single miracle drugs, because human biochemistry is far more complex than what can be handled by simple chemicals pushed down our throats.


If you study the biochemistry for how neurotransmitters are synthesized in our body you soon come to realize that neurotransmitters are produced form nutritional forerunners, from ingredients found in the food we eat.


Serotonin is produced from tryptophan- a nutritional amino acid (protein unit) - found in food. It requires also vitamin b6, zinc and magnesium to complete the conversion. Hence people on the wrong diet are often vulnerable to depression. There are many other nutritional factors that interferes with serotonin synthesis.


This goes to show that depression is a nutritional disorder, a concept that can upset a lot of people who firmly believe that depression is a mental disorder, controlled by a dysfunctional mind. They further mystify the problem by claiming that depression is a multidimensional, complex illness affected by many 'other' factors, that cannot possibly be cured by a 'one cause' remedy like nutrition. Of course this is a good excuse for not being able to 'cure' depression.


These people have problems understanding that if you have a chemical abnormality in the brain, you will have ‘abnormal psychological experiences’ that they then confuse for causes of depression instead of symptoms.

A major element in the synthesis of neurotransmitters is the presence of biological energy again derived form the sugars we eat. If there is an obstruction in the absorption and metabolism of sugars into energy, the brain cannot produce neurotransmitters. In this case the brain will trigger the release of stress hormones, that are responsible for most of the symptoms in mental illness.


Thus depression can be treated without recourse to drugs, and psychotherapy may be useful only after treatment of the biological causes of depression.


It is a matter of a shift in paradigm, science and education of both patients and therapists before we can see any progress in treatment.


Jurriaan plesman, ba (psych) post grad dip clin nutr

Hey all, I also dont like the way I look. I am only 16, have not had a baby lol, yet I have stretch marks on my boobs that are really bad, last year I came third in my little town of waihi beach beauty pagent but now-i cant even wear a bikini! I have them on my butt and they are slowly climbing my hips too-wot to do?! I am 16, this shouldnt be happening! Everyone says im gorgeous but I feel like a freak and cant wear tops that most people my age do.

:cry: I am sad all the time it is my weight I am fat out of shape and no energy to do anything I am so lost fat with no energy and cant breath good no life outside I just stay at home really no friends and I dont feel like doing anything I wish I had a way out buy I have no answer to this promble I take 3 kinds of meds witch the dr said was helping I guess they just cover up if I could lose 200 ibs I would be happy my weight my looks and my age is allgainst me

Hi I am a indian girl who has been born and lives in the uk. I feel alot of depression lies within the society we live in now I think most of these post have come from the states or uk and thinking about a conclusion a few days ago would I feel depressed about the way I look if I was in a country where appearance wasnt the only thing that matters. I have been suffering from depression for the last two years and feel it has completely ruined my life times I would feel I am on top of the world other times I would feel I would rather walk around with a bag on my head. I always had a phobea about being ugly it has gone to such a extreme I cannot walk past any mirror without looking and feeling paranoid that I am deformed in some way. The strange thing is I could say I have had a fair share of people wanting to date me but I would run or push them away as I feel paranoid they are doing this to make a joke of me. I have been on anti depressant for the last 2 yrs but no good. I have never been called ugly but I am scared someone one day will. From my family and friends I have always been called the pretty girl but why dont I see it. I have gone to such a extreme where I have started to wear huge caps to hide myself and feel I can only come out in the dark. Crazy hey.I just had to let this out of my system thanks for reading. God bless.

I know people will roll their eyes at this but...

No one is every totally (100% postively and perfectly) happy with everything about themselves. I know that I have been struggling for many months (years?) with how I look and it has just made me more unhappy with myself. I want to find total bliss with how I look and feel and I know at that point the changes that I need to make (for my health and myself, no one else) will begin to occur. I am a psychology major in michigan pursuing my phd and I know that body image is a huge concern for every woman (but anyone knows that, right?) my studies have helped me control my negativity and helped me gain strenght and reassurance that I just need to be good enough for myself, because if I can please me then I have conquered my toughest critic :)

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I agree with princess, it's normal to think you're ugly. In fact, I don't know many people who like the way they look. But, of course, normal doesn't mean good. It's just too bad that we're hardwired to be so competitive. And it's worse that that tendency is preyed upon by, well, everybody. Guys, peers, media.

I'd tell you all that as long as you're healthy, it doesn't matter, but the truth is that no one can tell you you shouldn't feel ugly, for the same reason that no one can tell you you shouldn't feel pretty. It wouldn't be so bad if everythng didn't give the appearance if perfection being attainable. It's fine if there's one gorgeous model, but what happens when there are twenty in a row in a magazine? Or your friends all have bigger boobs or smaller waists than you? Then we start to feel ugly. And for me, the only cure for that is to realize that it could be worse. Just telling it like it is.

Alot of us feel bad on the way we look. Dont worry though we tend to think we are bad looking when we actually arent. The big thing now in days is acne. Alot of people are depressed because they have acne. When alot of people think its just a huge deal. Try not too worry so much. Go out and try and meet a girl. If you have a gf (atleast for me) when I have a girlfriend I dont care how other people think I look. As long as I have family friends, and a girlfriend that think I look good what difference does it make how other people look at me.